Husband Betrayal

[Edmontongirl]

Hi,

We went to a psychologist yesterday my husband and I. We went to ask for guidance in life. We often feel stuck and want to keep moving etc.

At the end of the session, I randomly asked the doc. How can we increase a mans libido, because my husband has no interest in sex. We have been together for seven years, married almost 2 and we have sex maybe once every 2 months. I would prefer much more, but he says he's happy with that amount.

End of the story my husband lost his shit at me afterwards saying I betrayed him because I put him on the spot and he felt belittled and attacked about it. I have tried to talk to him about this several times before and he is aware that he has no libido, but is he type of person who just ignores it.

He is making me feel SO bad about this, wtf why??????

[Im-Suffering]

I would prefer much more, but he says he's happy with that amount.


He says a lot of things, most of which are not true.

He felt belittled not by you, but by how he feels inside, little. Insignificant, small, not able to satisfy, or perform. To him, now. Regardless of your feedback, although you would likely mirror those feelings.

And so that feeling is his truth, of course based on a lie, or false idea about who he is. In relation to you, the world, and relationships.

Good. Let him feel for perhaps the first time in quite a while.

In his terms, belittled, attacked, for being less a man. That is his true thought. Let him get solo therapy.

Truth, is a mighty word. Speak yours, period. Regardless of the bullying by his fake facade afterward. Those are his false beliefs talking, not his true self, which I'm guessing left home long before his libido.

Feeling bad is self pity (you want more). It's time to get to the truth, isn't it. Often opening up wounds is the only way.

If he stays stuck, he will see the error in his thinking when you move past him, when you speak your truth firmly and decisively. Like a small hurt boy in a timeout, he will have to move if you show determination and don't let his cowardice criticize or keep you from growing, and getting what you want.

In certain terms, there is an emptiness or nagging lack of fulfillment in not only the relationship but your womanhood at its core.

Intuitively of course, you know all of this, don't you. But you finally put a foot in front of the other and started the walk regardless of the ultimate fear, separation.

Will this be easy ? No. Will things work out for the best ? Yes.

[NixonRulz]

Hi,

We went to a psychologist yesterday my husband and I. We went to ask for guidance in life. We often feel stuck and want to keep moving etc.

At the end of the session, I randomly asked the doc. How can we increase a mans libido, because my husband has no interest in sex. We have been together for seven years, married almost 2 and we have sex maybe once every 2 months. I would prefer much more, but he says he's happy with that amount.

End of the story my husband lost his shit at me afterwards saying I betrayed him because I put him on the spot and he felt belittled and attacked about it. I have tried to talk to him about this several times before and he is aware that he has no libido, but is he type of person who just ignores it.

He is making me feel SO bad about this, wtf why??????

ImSuffering says it so much more eloquently.

But your husband is kinda acting like a tool

You aren't rsponsible for the things he won't take responsibility for

[gypsylee]

Hi,

We went to a psychologist yesterday my husband and I. We went to ask for guidance in life. We often feel stuck and want to keep moving etc.

At the end of the session, I randomly asked the doc. How can we increase a mans libido, because my husband has no interest in sex. We have been together for seven years, married almost 2 and we have sex maybe once every 2 months. I would prefer much more, but he says he's happy with that amount.

End of the story my husband lost his shit at me afterwards saying I betrayed him because I put him on the spot and he felt belittled and attacked about it. I have tried to talk to him about this several times before and he is aware that he has no libido, but is he type of person who just ignores it.

He is making me feel SO bad about this, wtf why??????

Because men are soooo touchy about their sexual performance that's why! :)

[Ponder]

I don't know this guy well enough to make such denigrating remarks as others have done. Although those response lets me put of few more pieces together. I am srry they have suffered like so.




Because men are soooo touchy about their sexual performance that's why!

I believe that may well explain why hubby reacted like so. Right or Wrong ... Forewarning of the topic may have seen him more open to the discussion. My wife and I always discuss the topic we wish to work on before seeing a therapist. (which is rare)


Have you considered it could be worse.

Imagine if you was sleeping around on you?

Alas - if your sexual desire is more important, then I guess you could leave? Is it worth clinging to all this drama? Why?

Seems people thrive on it is what seems to drive such denigrating responses.
_________________________

I wish I could have more sex with my wife, but I have taken the time to understand why she is not as sexually driven as I. Sex is simply not worth me leaving her. I love her more than my sexual organs and chemistry make up.

Could it not be worse?