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View Full Version : Fear of Impending Doom, Anxiety



tesla517
08-07-2008, 04:41 PM
Hello all,

I am in my late 20s and seem to have these fears going through my head of impending doom more often than not. There are times when I can control them and feel that they have been conquered. However, I do get them again and they can really impair my day-to-day functionality. Many times, these feelings will occur when I am doing something new or going to a place I have not been before. I do get them in normal daily situations, though it is not as common. I have a job that I like, and I have to say that physically I am healthy right now. (I did have to force myself to write that last sentence because I normally have anxious feelings when discussing health.) My family is very loving as well.

I've been trying on my own to get past this, and I am confident that I can and will, but it is trying at times. I've done things that I normally don't do, such as reacquaint with a friend that I had not seen in a long time. There was about a 50 mile distance between us, so going there the first time was difficult. I literally felt sick to my stomach, but somehow I worked through it and was able to enjoy my time. Occasionally, I would begin to panic at a social even that we went to, and my only thoughts were of going home.

I have trouble going to social events often, and the anxiety I feel beforehand can cause a variety of feelings. I get stomach upsets and I even gag, especially when I wake up with anxiety in the morning. My heart will feel like it is pounding, and I have a tendency to lose my appetite. Many times I will cancel or create an excuse (that is believable to me) in order to get out of the situation. Currently, I am planning on going on a date sometime in the near future, but my mind wants so badly for the other person to cancel or avoid me. I did not experience all of the things that my friends did while in our early 20s. I missed every vacation they went on, and most social events that were further than I am comfortable with. A good friend of mine lived in a major city about 30 miles from me for a while, and I couldn't even visit him because of these fears. I also had a friend move across the country, and missed out on visiting because I couldn't handle the thought of flying there. And I would think to myself, "Why can't I do this??? It's a normal part of life." I do have a wonderful friend that has offered to go on a plane with me, but I have not made the jump yet. I'm also afraid that I may lose that friend, especially since she's moving to the West coast in a couple of months.

I work a good distance from home, and I do have daily fears of something happening on the road, be it car trouble, illness, etc... I go through routine checks on my car every morning, more for the mental reassurance than anything. I feel if I break that routine, though, that something horrible may happen.

When I have these feelings, as I do now, it hinders me from doing things that I enjoy. I have little to no motivation and can feel very down. I would get nervous as a child as well, especially if I had to stand in front of people as an altar boy. There were many times that I would get terrible nausea and massive sweats, but I never dreamed back then that it would be something mental. Church is a place that I do enjoy going, and it is a wonderful salvation for me. There are times when I pray, though, that I have horrible thoughts, and I have to keep repeating to myself that those thoughts are not who I am. I have found that saying, "push forward," to myself gets me through that. It kind of gives me back a little strength, but it still happens often.

Currently, I have been feeling this anxiety and fear for about a week. Usually I have highs where I feel great, but then I would have lows shortly after that. Right now, it sort of feels like I am in a rut, if you will, that I cannot persuade myself to get out of. My concentration has been very lacking this week, especially while at work, and my appetite has suffered as well. I've been eating normally, but the desire and enjoyment is not there. My stomach has had a constant knot in it, even when I wake up in the morning. I've been a bit quiet around the family as well, and my parents seem to be noticing. We had a rough month not to long ago, and I want to keep them from worrying at all costs.

I have a plan to go to the local bookstore when I get home, just to break this routine, but it also is weighing on my mind. I'm looking forward to any and all replies and advice I receive. I also hope I can put someone else's mind at ease with my words. I do hope I can turn this negative into a positive for myself and anyone else who reads this.

KG :)

csand31381
08-07-2008, 07:22 PM
Hello KG I know how your feeling. Its the worst feeling ever it drives me crazy. My anxiety has been really high to my most fear is death, every little pain, I think there is something wrong with me. I just got on meds this week one is BuSpar and the other Xanax. I have really felt better after taking the Xanax. I to was trying not to take any more meds but it just got to hard. Maybe you need to go to your doctor and see what they say. I know trying to deal with anxiety alone is very scarey and hard. I have only been dealing with anxiety for about a year and half and I feel like it has taken over my life. I pray and hope that my anxiety gets better, I also pray that yours does to. I am sorry I have not been much help just wanted you to know that your not alone. If you ever need to talk I am here take care and best wishes.

02Batmobile
08-07-2008, 10:38 PM
KG, we sould like brothers. I go through the same exact things you go through. Like today for example. I was a bit anxious in the morning when I got up and a little bit during the day. I was feeling nervous about my anxiety and worry, "What if this never goes away?" There are brief moments, during these times, where I feel like I am close to freaking out. Then it kinda slows down, and then sometimes I'll be so distracted that I'll feel fine again. Then I'll notice that I am doing ok and then think, "This isn't so bad. I can do this. I'll make it through this." Then it quickly turns into worry. I'll start to think, "What if I can't? What if it comes back stronger? What if I end up in a Mental Hospital?" When I start thinking like this, the anxiety adds on physical symptoms with the constant worriness. On the outside, I appear to be jus' fine, but when the anxiety creeps up on me, I usually am quiet like you said. I won't really join in on conversations. Everything you have said is completely normal. That should give you some comfort in knowing you aren't alone.

I usually have feelings of impending doom also. I usually feel keyed up like something bad is about to happen. Jus' think positive. Realize it's your anxiety that is causing you to think like this and nothing will happen. I felt like that this morning but ya know what? Nothing happened to me!! I too, have missed out on some things in my life. I missed a trip to Vegas with my girlfriend and her sister. I missed out on a trip to Mexico. I missed out on hundreds of nights of hanging out with friends, whether it be a club, movie, amusement park or party. Jus' today a friend asked if I want to go to a Bears game as they are playing a pre-season game. I said no of course but actually wanted to go.

I too, have highs where I feel great and jus' fine. I feel as if I am back to normal, so-to-speak. Then there are times when I feel low, and the anxiety kicks it. Actually, the anxiety kicks in first and then I feel low. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good though. I too haven't been eating too much. A few weeks ago, I wouldn't eat a thing the whole day but one meal at the end of the night. I lost 10 lbs in about a month because of this. I don't really have a taste for anything either. I feel hungry at times but nothing seems to strike my taste buds.

Hang in there!
-James (AOL Instant Message Me!!) :)

tesla517
08-08-2008, 10:26 AM
csand31381: There is nothing wrong with taking some meds to help out the situation. Think of it as a supplement that you'll have to help you in the some of the tougher times. You have the hope, as I do, so I know we can get through our difficulties. I also overreact to things I hear on the news or any little twitch that I feel.

James: We do seem to have a lot of similarities. I was feeling the knot in my stomach this morning as well. It kinda slowed down last night for a brief moment, but it didn't last. I missed out on a trip to Mexico, Jamaica, Vegas, Florida, Boston, etc. My appetite is lacking today too. I bought a Starbucks, and it's not even that enjoyable. I do eat just because I know if I don't I'll feel worse. I did hear on the radio that milk helps calm the stomach when tense, but so far no luck. Eating is one thing that we can control. But it feels forced when I have this anxiety.

Hopefully I can do things this weekend that I enjoy and haven't done for a while. We can't allow any anxious and/or lethargic feelings to take us over. Even if we do little things that make us happy, it's a start.

Take care, and I look forward to hearing from you again.
:)

02Batmobile
08-08-2008, 10:31 PM
Please reply back and let us know how you are doing. I know this is easier said than done, I know this and I understand you completely but try to relax and have some fun. These feelings will pass. If you need to talk, AOL Instant Message me!!

Hang in there!!
-James :)

tesla517
08-09-2008, 08:33 PM
Thanks for your concern James. Today was kinda the same. I know that I don't want to feel this anxiety and whatnot, but it's almost like there is this wall in front of me. I was very lethargic today, but I did force myself out earlier. I picked up a book on anxiety. Hopefully it's worth some of my time, but at least it will be a distraction and some kind of step forward.

I do feel on the verge of breaking through this, but it's like watching software install. The last 1% seems to take FOREVER. :roll: I broke some of the repetitive things that I normally do, and I'm going to do the same tomorrow.

I'll write again soon. :)

02Batmobile
08-09-2008, 10:14 PM
Yea, don't expect it to get better tomorrow. I've been feeling better lately which was a gradual change in me. It's good that you force yourself to get out. A lot of times we close ourselves in. I don't know why though because we feel it in our own homes as well, why not see a movie if it's going to be there, right? No, we feel uncomfortable and need to be at home. I tend to be lethargic too when I'm feeling it. I'll be happy-go-lucky with my family and either a thought gets into my head like, "What if it comes back?" and then I start to worry and then the physical symptoms hit me. After that, I start worrying and have all these thoughts in my head that I become very quiet. I sit still, staring into space or what not. Pick up the book "From Panic to Power" for a good book on anxiety.

Hang in there!
-James (AOL Instant Message Me!!) :)