Anxiety and sex.

[miss*]

Hi All,
This is very embaressing but I have just had my lexapro adjusted to 15mg after a huge change in my life. The automatic negative thoughts started coming and I was sick for a few weeks before I realised I needed to up my dose. Anyway I was being intimate with my boyfriend and automatic thought of my Dad flashed into my mind (no wasnt abused have a very normal relationship with my Dad who is great) which as you can imagine is a total pasion killer. What a horrible thought to have whilst being intimate with your gorgeous man. Now I am terrified to sleep with my boyfriend as I am scared that images of my Dad will come again. And because I have catastophised it its bound to pop back in. So its a no win situation! Any advice for such an embaressing question??

[Anxious Frank]

Think of it as a mental blip, an aberration on an otherwise healthy relationship. If it keeps happening, so what?

The other way to see it as something that you need to investigate, something wrong with you that needs to be examined and fixed.

[Shanti]

analysis of the material should be done,)

[chaseryder]

Try this out:

Next time a negative thought pops in your mind, visualize a STOP sign and say "STOP" out loud. Then say to yourself EMOTIONALLY OUTLOUD -- "I am having a negative thought...these negative thoughts are irrational and NOT welcome...I choose to think of something positive instead of these POISONOUS negative thoughts because they do me no good"...

As silly as this may sound...it does help. By doing this emotionally, your brain will pick this up and register it as something of critical importance. Don't you notice that you tend to remember things that have some emotional background to it--something that you can visualize. A wedding, a song that you like...its emotional Your brain is more suspectible to remembering and storing information when it is emotionally charged...

So I strongly recommend next time either visualize the stop sign and say stop, and then alter your minds path to something more positive. It can be anything. It can be anything about yourself, your life, or whatever. Just turn it into something positive...

Give it a try...and remember to CATCH and be aware of your negative thoughts. As soon as you have one, STOP...catch it! And divert your thoughts...

[edwardme]

Hey,

When we have depression (and due the side effects of some medications), we all have a tendency to focus on what we DON'T want (you don't want to have images of your father when you are intimate with your partner).

What we focus on, becomes real, so when these thoughts happen, flip your focus immediately onto what you DO want (usually the opposite of what you don't want).

Might take a little practice, but you will soon be only focusing on what you want, at least more often, and that alone will be a big breakthrough (and this is a transferable skill that can be used whenever one is getting anxious about anything).

Good luck and be well!

[jennismortal]

The body is experiencing another form of arousal, similar to the arousal generated by fearful thought or anger. The energy builds, reaches a climax and dissipates, leaving the individual exhausted and spent. If sleep ensues at this time, the energy remains intact and sometimes surfaces an hour or two later, as an energy or adrenaline surge, waking the individual from sleep.Frightened by the surge of adrenaline, one might sit up in bed, feel tingly in extremities, short of breath, anxious or tense. Racing heart, sweating and a dizzy feeling might accompany this surge of energy.
The problem, as any other anxiety problem responds well to alleviation of energy, produced by the event. If the person were to rise from the bed, walk around the house, move off the excess energy, and calmly breathe through the experience, he would find the uncomfortable feelings subside much sooner.

[cim]

I feel your pain. I have had unwanted thoughts within my head for years now. I have seen therapists, taken medication (still am) and have tried holistic healing. My thoughts even ruined a 7yr relationship with the girl i thought i was going to marry. I know its easier said than done but you need to forget about these thoughts. I have had similiar thoughts and even more indepth thoughts along the same lines as you have discussed. It breaks my heart to know that there are other people in this world other than myself that have this problem.... thoughts are just that. Dont allow them top have or hold any bearing on your life. I let them control me and i lost my love

[Barcadia101]

Shifting your stream of thoughts to a positive route is the best way to get out of it. It might be a bit hard to do then to say but the tricks given above really helps. I have tried them.

[hesson81]

Great, now I'm going to start thinking of my mom, when I'm getting jiggy with my girl friend...

[kewiodibe]

hey sunny

I am sorry you have had such a rough time quitting but you are sure doing it Tomorrow will be day 25 and that is a HUGE accomplishment in the way of quitting smoking, Please dont give up now, the people behind you need to know that it is possible to quit smoking even if it gets a little rough. Keep up the good work
Dani

[MikeJsimon]

The enjoyment of pain and suffering is called masochism. Its an unnatural mental state that needs psychological treatment.
In most cases self punishment is not guilt or sorrow, it a habit that we don't want to let go of because if we do, we will have to find something else to replace it with. And that means effort, learning and self discovery, which can be frightening, especially when there is the easier option of self punishment available!

Quoted from:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Some-People-Enjoy-Self-Punishment&id=1778528