Dating with Anxiety Disorder

[supersonic1]

So I have GAD and SAD and it's become clear to me that one area where I experience a lot of anxiety is dating and relationships. I'm 28, and I have had two relationships, longest being one, and I ended both. The reason for no relationships being longer than 1 year is because I avoid dating a lot of times and ran away from it. I wasn't 'in love' and lost feelings in both of these relationships and the guys were not suited for me, but looking back now I realize I was hardly happy in either of the relationships. While there were happy moments, overall, there were more stressful moments. I feel like I spent a lot of time during both relationships being stressed and worried that I didn't fully enjoy them, but also the partners were to blame too. I am not very emotionally need, and I like having my own space, but these experiences and worrying so much has made me jaded and not want to pursue relationships. I want to fall in love and have a long term relationship, but the reality is, I just don't know how to not be stressed in a relationship and cope with it and be happy. Relationships make me emotionally and mentally drained and I am too critical of myself, maybe from being partially insecure. I know I am smart and I am attractive and I have turned down a lot of good guys that I have wanted to date deep inside just because of my personal demons. I don't want to grow old and be alone. Any advice? Has anyone been through anything similar?

[gypsylee]

So I have GAD and SAD and it's become clear to me that one area where I experience a lot of anxiety is dating and relationships. I'm 28, and I have had two relationships, longest being one, and I ended both. The reason for no relationships being longer than 1 year is because I avoid dating a lot of times and ran away from it. I wasn't 'in love' and lost feelings in both of these relationships and the guys were not suited for me, but looking back now I realize I was hardly happy in either of the relationships. While there were happy moments, overall, there were more stressful moments. I feel like I spent a lot of time during both relationships being stressed and worried that I didn't fully enjoy them, but also the partners were to blame too. I am not very emotionally need, and I like having my own space, but these experiences and worrying so much has made me jaded and not want to pursue relationships. I want to fall in love and have a long term relationship, but the reality is, I just don't know how to not be stressed in a relationship and cope with it and be happy. Relationships make me emotionally and mentally drained and I am too critical of myself, maybe from being partially insecure. I know I am smart and I am attractive and I have turned down a lot of good guys that I have wanted to date deep inside just because of my personal demons. I don't want to grow old and be alone. Any advice? Has anyone been through anything similar?

Absolutely. I'm 41 now and really enjoy being single but when I was younger I went from one bad relationship to the next. I guess I thought it would make me happy but it inevitably made me more miserable than when I was on my own.

You have to think about why you want to be in a relationship. It's easier for me I suppose because I've been married and had a child (she's 13 now) but I could still end up old and alone. The thing is, I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship (or even an average one). I need a lot of personal space and I enjoy doing things on my own, so I think of being single as the "default" state, whereas when I was younger I felt like a had to be in a relationship.

All the best :)
Gypsy x