siriusdreamer
01-14-2015, 01:25 PM
Hello everyone! I really need to “connect” and get some advice. I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life. Without going into too much detail, I’ve experienced a lot of death from a very young age of the majority of my family members. My mother, who raised me as a single mother and was my best friend as well as my mom, died a few years ago, followed shortly by the death of my closest friend whom I had known since I was 5 years old. I share this information not in a “woe is me” way – after all, everyone has experienced trauma in their lives and mine is no worse than anyone else’s grief. However, it has certainly affected my current anxiety. I worry about death. It’s so final, and many times it’s preventable. I’m obsessed with it, to the point where I am scared to drive in places I’m unfamiliar with. You see, this has become a real issue, as a month ago I moved to a big city in a new state where drivers are quite crazy and aggressive compared to the little town in California I was living in before. The crime here is terrifying to me (highest violent crime rates in the entire US)– I grew up in a small, close-knit town and this is so different from what I’m used to. The weather is different. The people are different. I thought I was more resilient than this, but I’m so overwhelmed. It doesn’t help that I don’t know anyone – I’m taking online college classes full-time and staying at home with my baby, so I don’t get to interact in real life.
I have a lovely husband and a new baby girl. She is the light of my life and I am so crazy in love with her. I haven’t had any signs of post-partum depression, but I do worry that hormonal shifts have made my anxiety worse.
I’m reaching out to this board because I find myself taking Norco every day (just one tablet) from my supply from after I gave birth. I don’t have any physical pain, but when I feel like I’m about to have an anxiety attack, I take it and it mellows me out. I know this is a dangerous road to go down, and that’s why I’m here. My family had a lot of issues with addiction - alcoholism runs in my family, so I don't drink at all. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I actually have bipolar – some days I have a lot of hope and I’m on top of the world, and other days I’m overwhelmed, scared, and terrified to even go outside. It’s inconsistent, but that could be due to hormonal shifts.
I know I need to work out more and eat better – it’s hard to work out here, since I’m not used to freezing temperatures and I was very much used to a routine in California where I would go running outside almost every day. The weather was perfect, even in the winter, and I loved it. I want to go back so badly. I have such a hard time with change.
If anyone has any advice whatsoever for me, please let me know.
I have a lovely husband and a new baby girl. She is the light of my life and I am so crazy in love with her. I haven’t had any signs of post-partum depression, but I do worry that hormonal shifts have made my anxiety worse.
I’m reaching out to this board because I find myself taking Norco every day (just one tablet) from my supply from after I gave birth. I don’t have any physical pain, but when I feel like I’m about to have an anxiety attack, I take it and it mellows me out. I know this is a dangerous road to go down, and that’s why I’m here. My family had a lot of issues with addiction - alcoholism runs in my family, so I don't drink at all. Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I actually have bipolar – some days I have a lot of hope and I’m on top of the world, and other days I’m overwhelmed, scared, and terrified to even go outside. It’s inconsistent, but that could be due to hormonal shifts.
I know I need to work out more and eat better – it’s hard to work out here, since I’m not used to freezing temperatures and I was very much used to a routine in California where I would go running outside almost every day. The weather was perfect, even in the winter, and I loved it. I want to go back so badly. I have such a hard time with change.
If anyone has any advice whatsoever for me, please let me know.