I feel like I'm going mad :(

[Sad]

Hi please help me!

I've always had slight anxiety/compulsive thoughts but lately there out of control and I don't know what to do!

When I was younger it was things like not letting people sit on my bed cause I didn't like creases. Saying my prayers at night but having to blow 20 kisses after (I still do this and i literally can not go to sleep unless I have)

4 years ago however I had a major car crash on the motorway I was. So lucky I wasn't injured but this incident started my anxiety. At first I just couldn't drive on the motorway without having a panic attack understandable?!
But now my anxiety is spiralling out of control! I worry about EVERYTHING to the point I feel sick. We've just brought our first house and I'm constantly on edge that something bad is going to happen, I check the plug sockets over and over again. I'm constantly sniffing for gas. Looking for mould and so on.

I'm convinced ATM I have bed bugs I can't sleep and I'm up all night checking the bed and mattress. Even though someone has been out and said we haven't! I call the gas safe people at all hours cause I'm scared of a gas leak!

I've always managed to hide this but my family are starting to notice. I'm erratic I apes everywhere can't sit still I'm losing weight I have direeah all the time! My doctor said ibs but it's not it's because my adrenaline is constantly on over drive!

I was stood in the kitchen crying today and my poor two year old daughter hugged me and said "what's the matter mummy don't be sad" I should be happy! Life is good I can't stay at home with my daughter we have a lovely home it's Xmas eve and I can't relax or get in to the spirit because I'm so anxious it's starting to effect my family now. I feel so silly. I hate it. How can I enjoy tomorrow for my daughters sake? I hate myself for ruining everything!

I have to drink half a bottle of wine every night just to relax and get some sleep! Any advice pleae x

[JustaGal]

Hi please help me!

I've always had slight anxiety/compulsive thoughts but lately there out of control and I don't know what to do!

When I was younger it was things like not letting people sit on my bed cause I didn't like creases. Saying my prayers at night but having to blow 20 kisses after (I still do this and i literally can not go to sleep unless I have)

4 years ago however I had a major car crash on the motorway I was. So lucky I wasn't injured but this incident started my anxiety. At first I just couldn't drive on the motorway without having a panic attack understandable?!
But now my anxiety is spiralling out of control! I worry about EVERYTHING to the point I feel sick. We've just brought our first house and I'm constantly on edge that something bad is going to happen, I check the plug sockets over and over again. I'm constantly sniffing for gas. Looking for mould and so on.

I'm convinced ATM I have bed bugs I can't sleep and I'm up all night checking the bed and mattress. Even though someone has been out and said we haven't! I call the gas safe people at all hours cause I'm scared of a gas leak!

I've always managed to hide this but my family are starting to notice. I'm erratic I apes everywhere can't sit still I'm losing weight I have direeah all the time! My doctor said ibs but it's not it's because my adrenaline is constantly on over drive!

I was stood in the kitchen crying today and my poor two year old daughter hugged me and said "what's the matter mummy don't be sad" I should be happy! Life is good I can't stay at home with my daughter we have a lovely home it's Xmas eve and I can't relax or get in to the spirit because I'm so anxious it's starting to effect my family now. I feel so silly. I hate it. How can I enjoy tomorrow for my daughters sake? I hate myself for ruining everything!

I have to drink half a bottle of wine every night just to relax and get some sleep! Any advice pleae x

Hello.Have you considered medication? Please dont hate yourself, you are doing the best you can. I did not want to take medication, but it has helped me tremendously. I would also do some walking and other exercise to burn off the adrenaline.
Even just a 15 min walk can help. Ofcourse the more the better.

[JustaGal]

I would also read up on how to take care of your adrenal glands. Nutrition is most of the help.

Low salt, sugar, flour, in fact try not to have those. They stimulate your adrenals and anxiety.

[Sad]

I would also read up on how to take care of your adrenal glands. Nutrition is most of the help.

Low salt, sugar, flour, in fact try not to have those. They stimulate your adrenals and anxiety.

That's the thing since having my daughter I've lost four stone threw healthy eating I exercise everyday. I walk the dog for an hour I workout on top of that for 40/60 mins a day I don't eat bread or high salt/fat as that upsets my stomach. I feel like I've made all the right changes and my mind still races all the time. I think the main problem is suddenly being a stay at home mum. I get all day to think and worry I've and over. But I can't afford to go back gk work! Everyone tells me how lucky I am and I'm just so negative all the time! Thanks ghe replies x

[Sad]

Thank you I have turned down meds as I have an addictive personality but I think it's heading that way. Something has to give! X

[Tranquil]

Hi Sad,
I think that as long as you and your doctor are aware of the potential side effects, medication might be a good try. There are times when I wish I never started it however it did give me my life back over 25+ years ago. Yes I've been on that long and haven't had to increase. I usually try to decrease. At any rate, if can do wonders for you. You may need to take a mix of two different meds. My only caution to you would be to ask the doctor to start you on the LOWEST POSSIBLE DOSE. This is what I always try to do. I have had docs tell me I should be on 8 times the dose but I did function very well with a very stable job and home life for many, many years without needing adjustments in my medications, so I sometimes cringe when I hear that people have been started on such a high dose. If you do try something like an SSRI, be prepared for it to take about 4-8 weeks before you see improvement but again, I want to stress that you stress to the doctor to please start you at the lowest possible dose, especially b/c of your addictive personality. I have found that tapering off the SSRI's is much more difficult than the benzo's. I'm not a doctor so this is just my 2 cents. You may just need something to help you feel in control again. My anxiety is what brought out my ocd and both of those eventually led to severe depression in my life on more than one occasion, yet I'm still only on 10mg of fluoxetine and it helps greatly. Best of luck to you and don't be afraid to try the medications. You can always taper off of them if you do not feel good and/or try another medication. Good luck to you.

[JustaGal]

That's the thing since having my daughter I've lost four stone threw healthy eating I exercise everyday. I walk the dog for an hour I workout on top of that for 40/60 mins a day I don't eat bread or high salt/fat as that upsets my stomach. I feel like I've made all the right changes and my mind still races all the time. I think the main problem is suddenly being a stay at home mum. I get all day to think and worry I've and over. But I can't afford to go back gk work! Everyone tells me how lucky I am and I'm just so negative all the time! Thanks ghe replies x

Thats great that you are doing exercise and eating good! You will find what helps you, keep reaching out.

[JustaGal]

Hi Sad,
I think that as long as you and your doctor are aware of the potential side effects, medication might be a good try. There are times when I wish I never started it however it did give me my life back over 25+ years ago. Yes I've been on that long and haven't had to increase. I usually try to decrease. At any rate, if can do wonders for you. You may need to take a mix of two different meds. My only caution to you would be to ask the doctor to start you on the LOWEST POSSIBLE DOSE. This is what I always try to do. I have had docs tell me I should be on 8 times the dose but I did function very well with a very stable job and home life for many, many years without needing adjustments in my medications, so I sometimes cringe when I hear that people have been started on such a high dose. If you do try something like an SSRI, be prepared for it to take about 4-8 weeks before you see improvement but again, I want to stress that you stress to the doctor to please start you at the lowest possible dose, especially b/c of your addictive personality. I have found that tapering off the SSRI's is much more difficult than the benzo's. I'm not a doctor so this is just my 2 cents. You may just need something to help you feel in control again. My anxiety is what brought out my ocd and both of those eventually led to severe depression in my life on more than one occasion, yet I'm still only on 10mg of fluoxetine and it helps greatly. Best of luck to you and don't be afraid to try the medications. You can always taper off of them if you do not feel good and/or try another medication. Good luck to you.

Good advice

[Im-Suffering]

The voice in your head is not your own.



Hi please help me! - Ok

When I was younger, period. This is when it all began.

It was things like not letting people sit on my bed cause I didn't like creases. ~ Learned behaviour - already emotionally shut down to a degree..

Saying my prayers at night but having to blow 20 kisses after (I still do this and i literally can not go to sleep unless I have)



Briefly:

We will call the car accident a trigger point. These points are spread out.......over time... They frame a life. The frame of a painting is more than for vanity sake. It separates and emphasizes the art, so the art becomes an area of focus.

Trigger points are highly charged emotional events that shock the psyche in a way as to cause some immediate changes. The self wants to change and often feels powerless to do so in less dramatic fashion and so trigger points are set up. In any case a life change is the motive.

You are to look at the accident not from a perspective of the obvious, but how this experience shaped you. The purpose of this accident was not so you would be scared to drive, but to release some repressed psychological conflicts. And because of this event, mentally, you have a new viewpoint. (World view).

Trigger points are meant to change a belief in immediate fashion rather than wrestle with mind work over a period of time.

Death, either yours or a loved one, is a trigger point.

Now, I emphasized your bed and prayer issue in the quote because all of the issues began some time before that. The voice currently in your head is not yours alone. It is a combination of a hurt child's, and a domineering personality. There is much more involved, but suffice it to say, you are not going crazy.

If you should blow 15 kisses, and you cannot sleep, what are you saying to yourself as you lie in bed, fearful of the bedbugs (symbolic) that would petrify you should you not blow 5 more.

It was never the crease in the sheets, you see, the 20 kisses, or any ritual. It may as well be a rain dance. It is about what they stand for. Should you be at the theatre watching a play, and the actress said her prayers, but had to perform a ritual in order for those prayers to be heard (felt, or even judged.. criticized..found fault with...if they are done correctly), what would you think? In that case you are the actress, it's your set, props, and your the lead.

I am feeling condemned, judged, criticized, unloved. What can I do to make things right..or even perfect?

Only you can do the mental work, digging through time, finding that controlling voice, locating trigger points, and examining your beliefs. All of this will teach you correct thought, through trial and error, that is the greater purpose.

Your daughter is happy, period. Show her joy in you then (do the mental work). Do not teach her that life is sad, you see. If she learns the belief 'life is sad' then indeed in 30 years every moment will have an undercurrent of sadness, even amidst the smiles, and she will not know why.

Just like you.

And you cannot hide from anyone your truth. Especially your child who has a very strong psychic connection to you. She feels you. You don't need to cry or physically express or speak for her to learn beliefs.....about life.. because most communication is telepathic. The same of course applied to you and your parents/caregivers.

So invest in the work. Find the emotional repression, the highly charged feelings within you, find the events early on, and look at them from an adults perspective, clearly. You will find distorted interpretations of a child among the feelings.

That is all I have.

[Ambition]

Sounds like you could have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD caused by the car crash. Therapists usually recommend CBT based around thoughts of the crash to neutralise your anxiety. Best to get referred to a councillor specialising in CBT and PTSD. Medication only masks the symptoms, just like painkillers mask pain. Also medication works different in some people. Some benefit from it some it makes them worse.

[Tranquil]

This is in reply to Im-Suffering
Why do some of us have these triggers?? I seem to have had three of them now. I'm on my third, not related to the above poster or OCD.
Do we set them up before birth from a previous incarnation so we can work on things?
I don't understand why some of us have such strong triggers when others seem to go through life without these kinds of events. Does it just
stem back to our childhood for some of us who have not worked out emotional stuff from early on or again something we may have set up before birth?

[Im-Suffering]

This is in reply to Im-Suffering
Why do some of us have these triggers?? I seem to have had three of them now. I'm on my third, not related to the above poster or OCD.
Do we set them up before birth from a previous incarnation so we can work on things?
I don't understand why some of us have such strong triggers when others seem to go through life without these kinds of events. Does it just
stem back to our childhood for some of us who have not worked out emotional stuff from early on or again something we may have set up before birth?

Not a simple answer. Would take some time. The strong triggers always hold an epiphany. Or a striking realization.

The focus should not be on the events, but on the thinking and actions leading up to them. You are learning to think aright. That is what you are up to. The camouflage is there for feedback. All experiences are mental or psychic long before the body meets the illusion it has created.

There is 'time' for adjustments then, trial and error, as the feedback is usually not immediate. Thus you must discover for yourself the thought train leading up to the physical experience. Only through such methods can you discover what you could have done differently.

The auto accident existed as probable long before it was created. The job, money, spouse, these events have a larger meaning and can also be traced to some form of thought train. Now you wouldn't consciously say 'I wish to lose everything at once', but at the same time you can dig back and see the thoughts were quite conscious. What you were thinking, dreaming, born from some frustration, repression, conflicts, and a desire for change.

While you are not fated or predestined to problems, the framework exists that makes them probable. From a field of probabilities you have choice. Now, in learning the lesson of money, you can 'go broke' and suffer, go broke and find joy, keep the money and be happy, or keep the money and suffer.

So although you've chosen finances as a challenge for example, the framework is quite large offering many options.. The spirit is concerned with psychological growth, the money itself part of the curriculum. Eventually the personality learns it does not need to lose anything, to win. Losing is 'probable' not predestined. Hurt and pain are the result of thought-errors.

Issues do not need to reoccur, if you have resolved the mental conditions that made them possible.

I'm losing focus at the moment, so that's all for now. I don't know how clear it's been.

[OmfgJaney]

You started off with being a naturally anxious and perhaps slightly compulsive person...and in general, that's okay. Then it was brought out more by an unexpected and unfortunate occurrence. Now you fear what could happen because something DID happen to you. Now your anxiety is interfering with your quality of life. You are constantly on alert for the next unexpected and unfortunate event to try and stop it...and that's where your compulsiveness also starts to spiral out of control. You are on overdrive with worrying about what could happen. I'd suggest seeing a therapist about it; the therapist will give you specified exposure therapy and other types of therapy to help you understand the process behind what you're doing and how to break free from it. You might even have some PTSD from the accident.

See someone about it. It's the best thing you can do for your daughter. Your doctor isn't a mental health physician. You need to see someone who is.

Things happen, but what is MORE dangerous and currently MORE likely is you negatively affecting your daughter (even though your worry is about the safety of your family). Your WORRY is more damaging in the present moment than what could be damaging in the future.

[danielhermanson]

Have you ever tried therapy? Cognitive behavioral therapy might be the solution for you. Actually the best way to overcome anxiety and panic attacks is a combination of medication and therapy because pills can help at the beginning of the treatment and therapy is the long term solution that can lead to ending your anxiety forever. Also when you have a powerful panic attack pills can help because they give fast response.

Now, your anxiety while driving can be treated. Not with pills, but with some effective techniques that can make you forget that you hate being in a car, on the motorway. Here is an article I found about how to cope with anxiety while driving that give really good tips: http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/types/driving

About your compulsive disorder, you need to try and control your thoughts and I don't mean projecting happy thoughts and breathing... these can help but it depends, from person to person. You need to change your state of mind and realize for yourself that there is nothing to fear about, gas leaks, bugs, the plug sockets and all the things you fear. Here therapy can help you by teaching you how to change your state of mind.

Take care and be safe!

[Sad]

Thank you all so much! I know my behaviour is more dangerous then my actual compulsive thoughts. On my bad days my daughter is also down and I HATE it so much. It's just so hard to snap out of it. When I'm having a good day I'm so high and happy and joyful my daughter definitely bounces of my emotions. I love them days but then just like that I snap back into my stupid ways!

There could be quite a few trigger points, my car crash, my turbulent childhood (my mum and dad we're always fighting) my dad even tried to kidnap us once. I was also in an awful relationship in my last two years of school. He not only mentally but physically abused me for two years. Was definitely the lowest point in my life. I ended falling pregnant I was so happy but when he found out he beat me so bad out side my school social services we're phoned. I decided the best decision was to have an abortion. That abortion made me cry the whole way through my pregnany with my daughter through guilt and I was adamant that something bad was going to happen to my baby because of what I done.

My conmplusive houghts ruin everything that should meake me happy and I hate it !!

[Kuroneko77]

I agree with Ambition. It could be PTSD. Fortunately its treatable