Dealing with physical illness/GAD

[namaste87]

Hello

I have had GAD for many years now, but now I have got in to a new part of it - health anxiety!

I have very mild allergy towards cats, and I have had that allergy for many years. The doctors says that I can keep my cats because it's so mild. Cats are so very important to me, they are one of the few things that makes me feel calm, safe and happy.

But a couple of months ago I started to worry about that my allergy would get worse. And guess what - now it is!!! On the tests it's still very mild, but my symptoms are NOT. They include fear of asthma, and that gives me breathing problems 24/7. Because of this the doctor wanted me to use a peak flow meter that mesaures my lung capacity. I have to use this every morning and every night. And this bring me to the gates of hell everytime, since my lung capacity sometimes actually is better after medication. So this could be real physical illness.

What differs this health anxiety from my former anxiety (relationships, my future, ending up alone and so on), this feels so, so very real, because it's not just in my head, it's in my physical body, and it includes real material things, like medication and peak flow meter.

I'm aware of that this worrying makes my symptoms worse. But I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to go through with this asthma inquiry, because I don't know how I would be able to live with allergic asthma. My anxiety level is at mabye 90% most part of the day.

I have a psychologist, and she tells me that I must use all the tools I've got to cope with the anxiety and the GAD, but it feels like, I don't know, digging a pond with a tooth stick in -40.000°F. Without arms!!!

What are your experiences of dealing with GAD and psysical illness????

[Im-Suffering]

Cats are so very important to me, they are one of the few things that makes me feel calm, safe and happy. Ironic, isn't it?

But a couple of months ago I started to worry about that my allergy would get worse.

What was the mental trigger a few months back. Why did you start to worry about it getting worse. What were your thoughts. Think ! Was it something someone said...was it worry about the animals..it was not instantaneous, you have been giving it much consideration.

If the cats make you feel safe, calm, loved (you did not say that, but that's the most important quality), than why are you at odds with them? You afraid to lose that love? So you burn the only bridge you have left to feeling good? Should you lose the cats, then you certainly can be justified in your misery. Feel it, feel that loss. Feel like you deserve it? (To be miserable).

Do you always lose what (who) is important to you?

Think about your answers.

[namaste87]

The mental trigger was that a friend told me that allergy can get worse if you expose yourself to your allergen.

I am very afraid to lose that love.

I don't think i deserve it, I think it's very unfair all of this. I think I deserve to be happy, I do.

I don't always lose what's important to me, but I am always terrified that I will.

[namaste87]

I don't really understand your point! I don't meen that in a rude way :) Mabye it's the language barrier? Why is it ironic that cat's is one of the few things that makes me feel calm and happy?

[Im-Suffering]

The mental trigger was that a friend told me that allergy can get worse if you expose yourself to your allergen. Your friend confirmed your thoughts that you yourself were too afraid to face. Your friend is a mirror.

I am very afraid to lose that love. Yes indeed.

I don't think i deserve it, I think it's very unfair all of this. I think I deserve to be happy, I do. Do you? That is a deep (personal) subject for introspection. I cannot get into that here with you.

I don't always lose what's important to me, but I am always terrified that I will. Why believe anything that doesn't make you feel good?

The purpose of all of this is to correct your thinking. The animals, the anxiety, the stress, the day to day life, all of it. It's not about any one problem in particular. The problems are symbolic of the mental state. Another words you would not face such issues if they did not exist psychologically in some form first. And so the cats (allergies) are representative of an inner issue (not faced), they are not the issue itself. Thus you choose the 'hard way' to face the unfaced problems in your life by jeopardizing what you love.

With that said, now because the animals were chosen as symbols, the inner issue must be faced or you are at some risk of loss.

Things are always deeper than some surface observations. Surface observation 'I'm allergic to my cats and I will get worse. My friend said so'.

You can't breathe not because of dander or hair, but because your incorrect thinking is suffocating you. Choking for air on your own grief, powerless.

You are meant to feel good, in your choices, and thoughts. Anything to the contrary is only there to trigger you into examining what separates the thinking from the experience of joy.

I have said this quite clearly, understanding a small language barrier.

This lesson goes for every single person reading this.

[Renden111]

Hi. I'm sorry to hear about your problem. I think it will be alright though. It seems that you're in a viscous cycle. You worry about your allergies and that creates more allergies that in turn creates more anxiety. I have been in a similar situation, and I have found that the best way to beat it is to try to control your thoughts. Try not to even think on things such as allergies or medicine or your breathing. When the thoughts pop into your head just move on to something else. I know it sounds a lot easier than it is. Most of my anxiety comes from dwelling on my problems too long. Try to acknowledge to yourself that your allergies are no severe and then never dwell on the thoughts. I'm a noobie here and this may seem like common knowledge, but I hope it helps.

[namaste87]

Well, now I've been to the doctor, and it lookes like I have ahstma. Since they don't know 100% sure yet I haven't got time to ask all my questions, but a 5 year old could guess that if you have allergic ahstma you should't expose yourself to your allergen.

I don't know how to live through this. I don't know. Cat's are, as I already wrote, one of the single most important things in my life. I live with other catlovers, I work with cat's, it's one of my biggest interests, it's my identity, it's my greatest love and happiness. People tell me that I must wait, wait untill you know for sure. But how the hell am I supposed to do that, when it feels like waiting for cancer-diagnosis? I would lose half of my life, lose so god damn much of the purpose and happiness of my life. I just close my eyes and say loud to myself "i don't exist, i don't exist, i don't exist", cause the pain is like a thousand knifes in my body. It's my biggest nightmare coming true, it feels like I'm dying. What the hell am I going to do???????????????

[Im-Suffering]

Well, now I've been to the doctor, and it lookes like I have ahstma. Since they don't know 100% sure yet I haven't got time to ask all my questions, but a 5 year old could guess that if you have allergic ahstma you should't expose yourself to your allergen.

I don't know how to live through this. I don't know. Cat's are, as I already wrote, one of the single most important things in my life. I live with other catlovers, I work with cat's, it's one of my biggest interests, it's my identity, it's my greatest love and happiness. People tell me that I must wait, wait untill you know for sure. But how the hell am I supposed to do that, when it feels like waiting for cancer-diagnosis? I would lose half of my life, lose so god damn much of the purpose and happiness of my life. I just close my eyes and say loud to myself "i don't exist, i don't exist, i don't exist", cause the pain is like a thousand knifes in my body. It's my biggest nightmare coming true, it feels like I'm dying. What the hell am I going to do???????????????

The first thing your going to do is take responsibility for it. There are psychological reasons behind what is happening.

The risk of losing love and happiness. It is just as easy to say a man becomes allergic to his wife, and must divorce her.

Tell me, what is happening? Take yourself out of the drama when you can and give it thought, let me know what you come up with. Feel the loss, feel your responsibility, feel your emotions..why don't you deserve to be happy?

[namaste87]

The first thing your going to do is take responsibility for it. There are psychological reasons behind what is happening.

The risk of losing love and happiness. jIt is just as easy to say a man becomes allergic to his wife, and must divorce her.

Tell me, what is happening? Take yourself out of the drama when you can and give it thought, let me know what you come up with. Feel the loss, feel your responsibility, feel your emotions..why don't you deserve to be happy?

Allergy and ahstma are real. I have not made them up. I know i make them worse, but they do exist, and I cant ignore them. I know that I have a lot of cruel thoughts about myself, but I also feel a lot of love towards me. I know that I right now face my greatest fear - to be left by the ones I love cause I am doing wrong. But I also face true physical illness, which I truly dont want. The fear of being left alone makes it a lot worse off course. I know myself that well - I dont think I deserve this allergy.

[Im-Suffering]

Allergy and ahstma are real. I have not made them up. I know i make them worse, but they do exist, and I cant ignore them. I know that I have a lot of cruel thoughts about myself, but I also feel a lot of love towards me. I know that I right now face my greatest fear - to be left by the ones I love cause I am doing wrong. But I also face true physical illness, which I truly dont want. The fear of being left alone makes it a lot worse off course. I know myself that well - I dont think I deserve this allergy.

Yes. This is one to finish out. Play this to completion and show yourself the intelligence, reason, love, persistence, courage needed to solve the problem constructively.

Keep in mind the next few weeks the best possible scenario rather than the worst. Picture often in your mind playing with the cats without any health conditions. You can influence the outcome of the test results. You create your reality by your expectations. If you believed that in concrete terms, you would act and think much differently.

Play it out till the end, and don't quit. This will be a symbolic victory. Teaching you fortitude, determination, and the feelings associated with success rather than 'I can't do it, I'm weak."

A very positive learning experience in greater terms.

Namaste to you, friend

[Edmontongirl]

Hello, sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Nowadays with the Internet, it is a lot easier to get freaked out about physical ilnesses. I can guarantee you a lot of people on here including myself look up their symptoms, or the early sings of serious illnesses when most of the time it's not even close to that. My advice would be to listen to your doctors, psychologists and try your best and just accept the current situation and their directions. They are trying to help you and with your help, working with them, things will gradually improve. My oh her advice would be to stay away from "symptom checker" etc.

[namaste87]

Ok.. Hehe, well, I must say I'm very sceptical to what you are saying now... But, ok, I will try. Hehe, I giggle right now. But I will try. Because I do have faith in you, unknown endlessly kind friend! Namaste to you to!