I hate this part :(

[aml0017]

Anxiety week 3: so after 3 weeks of anxiety (obsessive thoughts, obsessive googling lol, loss of appetite/sleep, crying) it seems that I have moved in to the next stage which is more like a mild depression really. The thoughts are pretty much gone and I feel calmer but just feel sad. I have been experiencing depersonalization/derealization (the one where i feel like I'm in a bubble and everything around me feels like it is far away) and my head is buzzing. Then just an hour ago at work I suddenly feel that ball of fear in my chest, that emptiness, just out of nowhere. I usually only get this when I wake up in the morning. I just feel like curling up in bed and never leaving. I somehow find this worse than the full on nervous anxiety as it just feels so odd i can't describe it. Just despondent. Anyone who has been depressed will understand.

I look at this as the final stage of my anxiety episode (thank god) like my mind and body is just exhausted. It is not full depression because I've been depressed before and this isn't quite so bad. My anxiety tends to be cyclical in nature (trigger/anxiety/mild depression/normal then repeat). But normally every time I have a bad, prolonged anxiety episode it is followed by a sort of depression, which have sometimes led to a full on depression. So, it always sort of worries me when I feel like this.

Gonna make sure I don't give in to it, keep exercising and going about my daily routine best as I can. Hopefully this is the beginning of the end.

[Ins0mniac]

I'm in the same stage as you are. It also took me 3 weeks to get there. Seems like the "extreme suffering" is over. I've got over depersonalization eversince I just became 'positive' and kept repeating to myself that everything that I see is real and not a movie. You should watch the movie "Numb (2007)" it pretty much perfectly describes how you feel and shows you that becoming 'positive' completely cures it eventually. I keep getting these annoying head tingeling feelings and head pressure. It's still hard to fall asleep, but the constant heart palpitations, heartburn and extreme paranoia are over. I'm still glad that the worst is over. I think in this stage the body starts to recover completely. You're right, it's the last stage.

Never give up, the end is near!

[aml0017]

Thanks insomniac. I believe alot of people have a sort of repeating cycle to their anxiety/depression. That is why I believe there is some kind of physical/hormonal thing happening, and it is not purely psychological. Of course, the mind is a powerful thing and it is in control of our bodies. Hmm, maybe I'll never know.

I do feel this is the end and thank goodness. I actually feel better and calmer now though when I originally wrote my post I had that "big ball of doom" sitting on my chest, so that always puts me in a negative frame of mind. I have suffered from anxiety for almost 20 years now, though the last 5 yrs or so have been quite good, mostly from talking myself out of worrying when it starts, and being positive like you say. I have had anxiety but no attacks or prolonged severe anxiety so I haven't felt this stage for a while now. I had gotten so good at preventing the anxiety that I almost forgot how bad it can be. It is funny how you forget.

The good thing about having gone through this so many times is that I KNOW it WILL pass. We are gonna get there, the sooner the better! Gonna have pizza and beer and sleep late lol.

[Ins0mniac]

First time I'm experiencing something like this. And you're right on forgetting bad situations, they tend not the be 'the ones that you wish to remember' in the future. Perhaps forgetting everything about anxiety after dealing with it is the best thing you can do. It would minimize the possibility of getting it back. I think I will need to change everything about my life in order to never get this 'anxiety' ever again, not only physically but mentally aswell.

I hope we all get out of this 'vicious cycle' once and for all.

[aml0017]

My mood has taken a bit of a downturn since yesterday, not feeling so positive right now. Feeling a bit more despondent and a lot of derealization. It is especially weird because today is one of those gorgeous sunny days, but the way I feel it seems to remind me more that I am not feeling great. However, I do know that yesterday I hardly ate anything, my appetite was fine I just felt so ugh I didn't bother to eat more than a few bites. I also didn't do any exercise and I slept HORRIBLY last night, worse than usual. I didn't have any racing thoughts but just seemed tense and never fell into a deep sleep at all. Normally I get at least 3-4 hrs good rest. Sitting here now my eyes still feel heavy and I feel foggy, that "zombie" feeling.

Also, I woke up this morning to find my phone was just not working, acting really glitchy and shutting itself off. A week ago this would have consumed my thoughts all day but I was just like "eh". Which I must say is better than the obsessive thoughts lol.

Gonna try to keep my normal routine today and eat properly and go to the gym or take a walk.