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Charles Price
12-07-2014, 11:30 AM
Generally I'm a pretty confident guy but it takes a few times of getting to know a person before I'm comfortable with them. Today I went for a Christmas meal with my girlfriends family at least 20+. I felt so anxious conversation was pretty minimal, I was stuttering and acting scatty. After a few drinks I started to blend in and I didn't care. How can I learn to let go of my inhibitions and be confident around a big group of people? I also have mild impulsive ADHD and when i'm nervous words roll of my tongue so I can say things that are awkward.

JohnC
12-07-2014, 11:53 AM
Hi Charles, Alcohol...... liquid courage in a bottle. I too suffer from social anxiety and boy let me tell you in my younger years when i used to drink that i have made a complete ASS out of myself trying to self medicate with the bottle. I did not drink every day or even every week but when i did i just did not know when to quit. I do now but very rarely drink although here lately i may start again just to manage my stress, probably not a good move but the thought has crossed my mind these last few days.
Today was the first time i ever thought about seeing a shrink and i even put the number in my phone.
Sorry to get off track...... How i deal with it now is to be some what quite and let others initiate the conversation. The shy approach i guess and i still feel very anxious when in those situations.

Im-Suffering
12-07-2014, 12:11 PM
Today was the first time i ever thought about seeing a shrink and i even put the number in my phone..

It's ok John. Hit send.

It's ok to take care of you, and have a chat with someone. That shows strength, courage, that your capable. Clear thinking. It does not show weakness.

I don't mean to tell you what to do, it's not like that.

Hit the phone (courage) before the bottle (fear).

JohnC
12-07-2014, 12:15 PM
It's ok John. Hit send.

It's ok to take care of you, and have a chat with someone. That shows strength, courage, that your capable. Clear thinking. It does not show weakness.

I don't mean to tell you what to do, it's not like that.

Hit the phone before the bottle.

I know IM-S no worries :) It's probably time, 30 plus years is long enough. I will call on Monday ( i hope i don't chicken out, lol )

Im-Suffering
12-07-2014, 12:42 PM
Generally I'm a pretty confident guy but it takes a few times of getting to know a person before I'm comfortable with them. Normal

Today I went for a Christmas meal with my girlfriends family at least 20+. I felt so anxious conversation was pretty minimal, I was stuttering and acting scatty. Adrenaline + the fear of criticism.

After a few drinks I started to blend in and I didn't care. Frees inhibition centers but curbs clear thought.

How can I learn to let go of my inhibitions and be confident around a big group of people? See below.

Sorry to get off track...... How i deal with it now is to be some what quite and let others initiate the conversation. The shy approach i guess and i still feel very anxious when in those situations also have mild impulsive ADHD and when i'm nervous words roll of my tongue so I can say things that are awkward. Also see below

The following will help others in self-assessment and discovery.

Fear of criticism:


This fear destroys initiative, and discourages the use of imagination.


The major symptoms of the fear are:

SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS. Generally expressed through nervousness, timidity in conversation and in meeting strangers, awkward movement of the hands and limbs, shifting of the eyes.

LACK OF POISE. Expressed through lack of voice control, nervousness in the presence of others, poor posture of body, poor memory.

PERSONALITY. Lacking in firmness of decision, personal charm, and ability to express opinions definitely. The habit of side-stepping issues instead of meeting them squarely. Agreeing with others without careful examination of their opinions.

INFERIORITY COMPLEX. The habit of expressing self-approval by word of mouth and by actions, as a means of covering up a feeling of inferiority. Using "big words" to impress others, (often without knowing the real meaning of the words). Imitating others in dress, speech and manners. Boasting of imaginary achievements. This sometimes gives a surface appearance of a feeling of superiority.

EXTRAVAGANCE. The habit of trying to "keep up with the Joneses," spending beyond one's income.

LACK OF INITIATIVE. Failure to embrace opportunities for self-advancement, fear to express opinions, lack of confidence in one's own ideas, giving evasive answers to questions asked by superiors, hesitancy of manner and speech, deceit in both words and deeds.

LACK OF AMBITION. Mental and physical laziness, lack of self-assertion, slowness in reaching decisions, easily influenced by others, the habit of criticising others behind their backs and flattering them to their faces, the habit of accepting defeat without protest, quitting an undertaking when opposed by others, suspicious of other people without cause, lacking in tactfulness of manner and speech, unwillingness to accept the blame for mistakes

Given for self examination, Charles.

living101
12-07-2014, 06:51 PM
Hi!!!! Im new here & looking to make new friends and learn how to cope with day to day no one understands how it is to live with this condition how painful it is to feel imprisoned in our bodies