health anxiety

[quietblueeyes]

The worse my anxiety gets, the more it concentrates on health.

I was doing well for a few years, and then in mid-October, my anxiety flared from my usual low grade state of needing a major trigger to be set off to having a constant glimmer of energy coursing through me. Progressively, physical symptoms have me terrified.

Right now, I'm focused on my neck. I get occasional aches near the corner of my jaw, and have been fixated on that. Yesterday, I was just casually leaning my head on my hand, and felt a bump on one side of my neck. It got worse from there. I googled and I got hysterical. . .why is the answer to everything on google, death? I started thinking that I must have some serious illness making my lymph nodes swell. I rubbed and felt and pushed and prodded my neck for more than an hour. Today, of course, my neck is achy, so I'm still worrying, even know it's likely achy because of the pushing and prodding last night.

Intellectually and logically, I can tell myself that I probably feel this bump (which feels nothing like an enlarged lymph node and causes no pain) because I have extreme muscle tension in my neck, scalp, throat, and into my upper back and shoulders. I also have bad posture and lounge on the couch in a way that tilts my head to the side. It would be easy enough for muscles and tendons on one side to get knots or even get bigger from more use.

But that anxious voice stays there, taunting me. It tells me to keep touching and feeling. . .to focus on it to the point where I could probably feel one skin cell itch.

That's where I need help.

I always like the idea of Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is the most likely. It's especially suited to anxiety. But anxiety doesn't let me believe it.

[jessicahannah]

The worse my anxiety gets, the more it concentrates on health.

I was doing well for a few years, and then in mid-October, my anxiety flared from my usual low grade state of needing a major trigger to be set off to having a constant glimmer of energy coursing through me. Progressively, physical symptoms have me terrified.

Right now, I'm focused on my neck. I get occasional aches near the corner of my jaw, and have been fixated on that. Yesterday, I was just casually leaning my head on my hand, and felt a bump on one side of my neck. It got worse from there. I googled and I got hysterical. . .why is the answer to everything on google, death? I started thinking that I must have some serious illness making my lymph nodes swell. I rubbed and felt and pushed and prodded my neck for more than an hour. Today, of course, my neck is achy, so I'm still worrying, even know it's likely achy because of the pushing and prodding last night.

Intellectually and logically, I can tell myself that I probably feel this bump (which feels nothing like an enlarged lymph node and causes no pain) because I have extreme muscle tension in my neck, scalp, throat, and into my upper back and shoulders. I also have bad posture and lounge on the couch in a way that tilts my head to the side. It would be easy enough for muscles and tendons on one side to get knots or even get bigger from more use.

But that anxious voice stays there, taunting me. It tells me to keep touching and feeling. . .to focus on it to the point where I could probably feel one skin cell itch.

That's where I need help.

I always like the idea of Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is the most likely. It's especially suited to anxiety. But anxiety doesn't let me believe it.

You are not alone, I have the exact same problem. Every week it's a different thing. I think what needs to be worked on is stopping the googling (which I'm famous for) and realizing that our bodies have had these aches and pains our whole lives but now our anxiety makes us realize them so much more. Try and be as realistic as possible. Remember all the times you thought you were deathly ill and realize you're still here. And maybe get a full physical and get reasurance from a doctor. Best of luck to you, stay positive!

[quietblueeyes]

You are not alone, I have the exact same problem. Every week it's a different thing. I think what needs to be worked on is stopping the googling (which I'm famous for) and realizing that our bodies have had these aches and pains our whole lives but now our anxiety makes us realize them so much more. Try and be as realistic as possible. Remember all the times you thought you were deathly ill and realize you're still here. And maybe get a full physical and get reasurance from a doctor. Best of luck to you, stay positive!

Thank you for the reassurance. I had a physical in May, so I'm not due for another one for a while. Right now I'm struggling with the idea of how to know when I should go to the doctor. I would love the reassurance, but I've been through this before. A number of years ago, when the anxiety was really bad, I went to the ER twice convinced I was having a heart attack and later a stroke. I'm afraid of being a nuisance :(

I know I need to stop googling. I start with good intentions - to find information that might help alleviate my concerns, but even then I end up with more things that cause worry and anxiety. I'm going to ban myself from here on.

It's like anxiety is its own monster - it exists as its own entity, but manifests itself by magnifying our fears and just taking over our minds.

Thank you for understanding.