strange thoughts

[bribee]

Recently every morning I've woke up the first thing that will be on my mind is the thought that I will die someday and it scares me. I think about death all the time even though I'm only 21. I feel so scared of getting older and every day that I'm just one day closer to death. I know that's a really depressing thought but that's how I've been thinking lately. I don't really know how to change my thinking pattern and to feel better about my life and be happy without being worried about death. I don't really know if I'm depressed or what but I just really feel nihilistic towards life. Has anyone felt this way before? I also sometimes get the most anxious feeling when thinking about the universe and life in general and if life goes on after death. Should I get on medication? Will it help?

[Im-Suffering]

Recently every morning I've woke up the first thing that will be on my mind is the thought that I will die someday and it scares me. I think about death all the time even though I'm only 21. I feel so scared of getting older and every day that I'm just one day closer to death. I know that's a really depressing thought but that's how I've been thinking lately. I don't really know how to change my thinking pattern and to feel better about my life and be happy without being worried about death. I don't really know if I'm depressed or what but I just really feel nihilistic towards life. Has anyone felt this way before? I also sometimes get the most anxious feeling when thinking about the universe and life in general and if life goes on after death. Should I get on medication? Will it help?

Typographical emphasis intended :

First, get clear. its not that you fear death. Its that you want to value life, while you are alive. Another words, death is the motive to teach you value. You want to live, fully. Every single one of us will have a physical death. But not all of us will have a life.

Also know 'nihilistic' thoughts are a natural byproduct of the powerless feelings you have regarding your own life, and death as you describe it. Know there are no true destructive forces at work here, just a natural flow of thoughts and feelings based on the subject matter you focus upon. You believe life has no purpose, well, it has a few now. One of which is to think aright, period. That Im teaching you here today.

Now, another purpose of your life is to learn to create it your way, and find joy. This applies to every life, and after death you will still desire purpose, fulfillment and joy. So it should be said, each life, physical or not, shares the same impetus for creativity. You must make the most of where you stand now then, your daydreams of the universe and after death are symbolic of the steps needed to enjoy this life, trying to come to an understanding of it all and bring your attention to the present. You must learn to focus on the now with clarity, if you do not, you better watch your footing, or you may stub your toes.

Just live, period. Love yourself in such a way as to have the desire to fill the moments with joy. Whether you are dead or alive, in the human terms of physical life or there after.

Depression is despondency in which you do not suffer from. You are inquisitive. Do not allow self to be brainwashed by others into thinking you are insane or have an illness. Medication will reinforce depression in someone who is not. You will literally become depressed. Protect your mind from naysayers and negative people, even if those are parents or close friends. Its your mind, don't lose it. Susceptibility to criticism and an open mind fertile to outside influences is what got you where you are today, close them out at all costs.

that's enough for you.

[gypsylee]

Good answer Im_Suffering :)

I think maybe depression is when you think "I wish death would hurry up" like I sometimes do.

But yes, this is normal. You probably feel uncomfortable because death is so taboo in our culture.

Oh and the thinking about life after death etc that makes you anxious - perfectly normal! You're just philosophical. But you also will have to accept there are some things the conscious, rational mind cannot understand :)

All the best,
Gypsy

[JustaGal]

Recently every morning I've woke up the first thing that will be on my mind is the thought that I will die someday and it scares me. I think about death all the time even though I'm only 21. I feel so scared of getting older and every day that I'm just one day closer to death. I know that's a really depressing thought but that's how I've been thinking lately. I don't really know how to change my thinking pattern and to feel better about my life and be happy without being worried about death. I don't really know if I'm depressed or what but I just really feel nihilistic towards life. Has anyone felt this way before? I also sometimes get the most anxious feeling when thinking about the universe and life in general and if life goes on after death. Should I get on medication? Will it help?

My anxious/negative thoughts are at a high point the minute I am awake. I tell myself I know I will feel better once I get moving and have coffee. I also replace the monster thought with something to neutralize it, like a good thought. That sounds cliche, but it works. There was a period where I took lorazapem first thing in the morning.
The morning issue is very common.

[bribee]

Typographical emphasis intended :

First, get clear. its not that you fear death. Its that you want to value life, while you are alive. Another words, death is the motive to teach you value. You want to live, fully. Every single one of us will have a physical death. But not all of us will have a life.

Also know 'nihilistic' thoughts are a natural byproduct of the powerless feelings you have regarding your own life, and death as you describe it. Know there are no true destructive forces at work here, just a natural flow of thoughts and feelings based on the subject matter you focus upon. You believe life has no purpose, well, it has a few now. One of which is to think aright, period. That Im teaching you here today.

Now, another purpose of your life is to learn to create it your way, and find joy. This applies to every life, and after death you will still desire purpose, fulfillment and joy. So it should be said, each life, physical or not, shares the same impetus for creativity. You must make the most of where you stand now then, your daydreams of the universe and after death are symbolic of the steps needed to enjoy this life, trying to come to an understanding of it all and bring your attention to the present. You must learn to focus on the now with clarity, if you do not, you better watch your footing, or you may stub your toes.

Just live, period. Love yourself in such a way as to have the desire to fill the moments with joy. Whether you are dead or alive, in the human terms of physical life or there after.

Depression is despondency in which you do not suffer from. You are inquisitive. Do not allow self to be brainwashed by others into thinking you are insane or have an illness. Medication will reinforce depression in someone who is not. You will literally become depressed. Protect your mind from naysayers and negative people, even if those are parents or close friends. Its your mind, don't lose it. Susceptibility to criticism and an open mind fertile to outside influences is what got you where you are today, close them out at all costs.

that's enough for you.

Thank you, so much! This was exactly the response I was looking for. You really have a way with words. I never really looked at it that way. That it's not really death I'm afraid of. It's not enjoying my life. Which right now in a constant state of worry I'm really not. I just want to know all the secrets of the universe but I guess life would be no fun without a little mystery. I just hope I can move past this. And start actually enjoying my life without worrying about who I am or what's out there or what happens after death. I want to be happy in this present moment and not worry about the future and my inevitable death.

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you, so much! This was exactly the response I was looking for. You really have a way with words. I never really looked at it that way. That it's not really death I'm afraid of. It's not enjoying my life. Which right now in a constant state of worry I'm really not. I just want to know all the secrets of the universe but I guess life would be no fun without a little mystery. I just hope I can move past this. And start actually enjoying my life without worrying about who I am or what's out there or what happens after death. I want to be happy in this present moment and not worry about the future and my inevitable death.

What happens after death is up to you. After death you will be just as much alive 'there' as you are 'here'. So we can say, you will be dead to the current life, and alive 'elsewhere'. To that alive personality, you will be able to view in greater detail more of your 'dead' selves, you see? The point is, you will always be alive 'somewhere' and to that self, death will be a mystery, to an extent. Thus the alive self must focus acutely on the present no matter where it is, because the present is its 'point of power'.

In that context we can make the assertion : "You are as dead now as you'll ever be" and that would be the truth.

Now, you might not be bothered so much by death if you can see it as that transition. We must all play in the sandbox we have, with the shovel and tools available. That is the reason for the illusive 'seclusion' so to speak, life is an uninterrupted 'classroom'. You couldn't learn your lessons if the classroom door was wide open with a noisy hall, you see. That is the reason no human has seen life in the universe or on other planets. Although there is, but not to see with our eyes. In a sense you are in a closed class and you will not have lunch and be allowed certain discoveries until you've finished your lessons.

If anything one should believe in magic, for in those childlike qualities anything is possible.

Glad we have met today, enjoy your journey.