what to do

[Polarlight]

Just now when i turned on the radio, i heard three songs that said the word death. And in my college yesterday there was an accident, where the motorcyclist was dead. And also just now my friend talk to me about it. I'm so scared. Is this the sign about something bad?

I've been so scared about this matter, and this happen since i was 9. (Now i'm 19) Before it started, my mother was dead from leukimia. But i don't feel anything, like sad or what. But i started to think about death about a month after that incident. Since then, it keep come and go, bit recently, started about 4 months ago, the feeling getting severe. I keep reassuring myself but it keeps coming. Last two weeks, my grandfather passed away.

I keep distracting myself from all these thought but it getting severe. The more i tried to prevent, the more the thought came.

I'm just really really scared.

[RealisticTrain]

Hi there,

Everyone is scared of death. The fear of the unknown is very powerful. But you need to realize that death is just another part of life. Things die so other things can be born. No one can avoid it, so what's the rationality in being scared of it?

What's happening to you I believe, is a case of post-traumatic stress from when your mother died. Just as fireworks might be a trigger for soldiers who have PTSD, your trigger might be whenever death or anything related is mentioned. I recommend visiting a psychologist and perhaps taking part in CBT treatment that can help you control those thoughts. Best of luck.
- Dr. Dan

[The_WHY_of_ ME]

We often focus on patterns in the world around us, whether we realize it or not. Some of the things we observe strike a deep chord within us at times. Often when it is the sound of an orchestra, a great scene in a movie, or a peaceful landscape, we are noticeably "moved" in a good way...without intending to feel anything. Similarly, certain words, phrases, images, etc., can elicit deep feelings of fear, anger, sadness, that move us just as powerfully but often more subtly.

The good news is you've noticed what moved you and identified which way it affects you. Don't be afraid to talk about it, it is normal, we all have these feelings. Therapy may help in managing them when they get extreme, but remember that you cannot live in therapy, and must learn to manage your emotions. It takes time, and you're not alone here.

[Polarlight]

Thanks both of you for your replies. I wanna cry. I don't know if i could control my emotion anymore. My friends know me as a happy go lucky person. Because i force myself to. But no one know what's going on in my head. When i see something bad happen to others, i would assume it may happen to me too.

[Im-Suffering]

Thanks both of you for your replies. I wanna cry. I don't know if i could control my emotion anymore. My friends know me as a happy go lucky person. Because i force myself to. But no one know what's going on in my head. When i see something bad happen to others, i would assume it may happen to me too.


From Realistic Train:

"What's happening to you I believe, is a case of post-traumatic stress from when your mother died"

That's all you need.

From you:

"When i see something bad happen to others, i would assume it may happen to me too'

You have had an intimate experience with death, unexpected, and sudden. leaving a shock to your psyche, an immediate and swift trauma. at that age you were not old enough to be able to process it correctly and clearly. so you came up with beliefs about life, family, death, trust, illness, loss of love, from a childs perspective. in a very real sense, you are still that child, and you are still in shock.

The good doctor opened the book, now you must turn the page, and I will get you started. You must turn away from the scary world long enough to face those internal feelings from your current perspective, with current intelligence, with current reasoning, with current understanding, and let the child grieve, and then feel him melt into you with a new understanding.

The child witnessed the trauma, allow him to speak about it. In your imagination sit with him and listen, cry with him, love him, and tell him about his new life, you are his older self. what marvelous things ahead. The child lost his outlook that day of death, and went into a cave. Every time you dismiss the feelings you dismiss him, and he will be relentless in getting your attention.

You are to hold daily meetings with your child self, in your imagination, you are to grieve with him and allow all the feelings to come up. You are to hold his hand through it and love him, you are to do this 15 minutes a day for as long as it takes to dissipate the negative energies inside. Only then will you be free.

There I have said what the doctor would have, should you have been on his couch. I behoove you to listen.

Listen !! Print this thread and reread it until you are blue and sick of it. A million times plus one.

End of message. Who knows if you will get it. Most on message boards don't. pay attention to the typographical emphasis, its not willy nilly.

[Polarlight]

From Realistic Train:

"What's happening to you I believe, is a case of post-traumatic stress from when your mother died"

That's all you need.

From you:

"When i see something bad happen to others, i would assume it may happen to me too'

You have had an intimate experience with death, unexpected, and sudden. leaving a shock to your psyche, an immediate and swift trauma. at that age you were not old enough to be able to process it correctly and clearly. so you came up with beliefs about life, family, death, trust, illness, loss of love, from a childs perspective. in a very real sense, you are still that child, and you are still in shock.

The good doctor opened the book, now you must turn the page, and I will get you started. You must turn away from the scary world long enough to face those internal feelings from your current perspective, with current intelligence, with current reasoning, with current understanding, and let the child grieve, and then feel him melt into you with a new understanding.

The child witnessed the trauma, allow him to speak about it. In your imagination sit with him and listen, cry with him, love him, and tell him about his new life, you are his older self. what marvelous things ahead. The child lost his outlook that day of death, and went into a cave. Every time you dismiss the feelings you dismiss him, and he will be relentless in getting your attention.

You are to hold daily meetings with your child self, in your imagination, you are to grieve with him and allow all the feelings to come up. You are to hold his hand through it and love him, you are to do this 15 minutes a day for as long as it takes to dissipate the negative energies inside. Only then will you be free.

There I have said what the doctor would have, should you have been on his couch. I behoove you to listen.

Listen !! Print this thread and reread it until you are blue and sick of it. A million times plus one.

End of message. Who knows if you will get it. Most on message boards don't. pay attention to the typographical emphasis, its not willy nilly.

I'm crying. Thank you so much!