i feel so alone

[hollandroad]

i know i've been posting a lot but i've had a rough past couple of weeks and i was hoping there were people out there who feel the same way who could give me some advice.

lately i've been too scared to function normally. i constantly worry about death and i worry that things that i did when i was younger could effect my health now or in the near future. like i'm worried that something i did will come back to haunt me i just feel doomed and trapped and today after an incident i started sobbing really hard and screaming because i feel like i'm going insane. there are just a lot of things that i've been worrying about recently. see, my anxiety isn't about school or relationships or anything like normal teenagers should worry about. all my fears eventually lead to death and i feel like no one understands me. i'm afraid to fall asleep because i'm afraid i won't wake up

i feel paranoid about everything. like everyone is out to get me. i over think things. like, what if this thing happens, and then this happens, and then i die and i'm so tired of this i just want to be happy again and be able to live my life.

i want to tell my friends about my fears but i'm afraid they won't understand and that they'll think i'm stupid.

i want to go to a doctor and get a full checkup to put my mind at ease but i'm also worried that the doctor will miss something.but i'm afraid if i ask my mom she'll tell me i'm being silly because i just went to the doctor and after i told my mom that i had this weird feeling in my head and she said that i should've told the doctor earlier and not to worry about it but i can't not worry about every little thing

i also want to go to a therapist but i'm afraid it will be too expensive and mom will say its a waste of time and won't let me and where i live there aren't many options

i'm just stuck and i want to know if i'm the only one who feels this way because right now i feel so alone. i just want to be normal

sorry for the longs post i just don't know what to do

[gypsylee]

i know i've been posting a lot but i've had a rough past couple of weeks and i was hoping there were people out there who feel the same way who could give me some advice.

lately i've been too scared to function normally. i constantly worry about death and i worry that things that i did when i was younger could effect my health now or in the near future. like i'm worried that something i did will come back to haunt me i just feel doomed and trapped and today after an incident i started sobbing really hard and screaming because i feel like i'm going insane. there are just a lot of things that i've been worrying about recently. see, my anxiety isn't about school or relationships or anything like normal teenagers should worry about. all my fears eventually lead to death and i feel like no one understands me. i'm afraid to fall asleep because i'm afraid i won't wake up

i feel paranoid about everything. like everyone is out to get me. i over think things. like, what if this thing happens, and then this happens, and then i die and i'm so tired of this i just want to be happy again and be able to live my life.

i want to tell my friends about my fears but i'm afraid they won't understand and that they'll think i'm stupid.

i want to go to a doctor and get a full checkup to put my mind at ease but i'm also worried that the doctor will miss something.but i'm afraid if i ask my mom she'll tell me i'm being silly because i just went to the doctor and after i told my mom that i had this weird feeling in my head and she said that i should've told the doctor earlier and not to worry about it but i can't not worry about every little thing

i also want to go to a therapist but i'm afraid it will be too expensive and mom will say its a waste of time and won't let me and where i live there aren't many options

i'm just stuck and i want to know if i'm the only one who feels this way because right now i feel so alone. i just want to be normal

sorry for the longs post i just don't know what to do

Hey there - you aren't alone! :)

There's nothing you've said here that I haven't thought or felt at some stage. And I've read the same kind of things in others' posts.

It's the same old story (I don't mean that in a bad way) of anxious people driving themselves crazy (not literally!) We overthink everything. I'm still trying to get my brain to shut up and I'm 41!

Anything that helps you to just move out of that thinking pattern is good.. Except drugs and alcohol (I learned that the hard way). Exercise, reading books, listening to music, playing games, watching movies etc. Even if you don't feel like doing anything, just do it. Oh and writing stuff down - anything to get that crap out of your head!

If you can't talk to your school friends talk to us or other people online. Anxiety feeds on isolation so communicating with other people is very therapeutic.

Hang in there! You most definitely aren't alone with this.
Gypsy :)

[Seaghn-Scott White]

I know it's hard not to feel alone without a tangible person there to hold on to, but you can find them. I would encourage you to take a chance and gamble on befriending someone at your school who exhibits the same symptoms that you identify in yourself. They're out there, and the chance that one of your existing friends suffers from anxiety is almost a certainty-you're sixteen! It's pretty much a prerequisite of being sixteen. Also, don't discount your family, though your parents might not be your best option.

You also need to find a focus that calms you down. You can also get angry. I've found no better cure for an anxiety attack than anger. It's not a cure for anxiety, and a chronic rage can result in accentuating your anxiety, but experiencing anger shifts your hormone balance. It can terminate a panic attack faster than anything in my experience. It's better than IV ativan.

You're not alone. Feel free to PM me as well when you're feeling anxious.

[Ryker]

I've found no better cure for an anxiety attack than anger.

HULK-SMASH!!!!

LOL So very true. Sometimes it's hard to come out of an anxiety attack just because you feel nothing awaits you but pure embarrassment. Other people around you understand how it works when other people have 'normal person' rage so it can be easier for everyone to cope with.

[Enduronman]

I have IED. (intermittent explosive disorder).
It is controlled with MEDS!
Get some medications to help you and go see a therapist too friend.
And that's an order!!!
Take care..

Enduronman. :)