Its Back LOL!

[Exactice]

Well Sorta, So I would say I have my Panic Attacks under control. Also when and if they do come on, I know how to really handle them.


Now that being said, My anxiety has reached an all time high as of recent. Weird, no specific reason I can think of but just seems to be peaking. On a scale of 1-10 maybe a 5. Has gotten this high in almost 10 months.

Now, I got a question for everyone as I have noticed a consistency. Time? I noticed that my anxiety is back 1 year from when I had the major attack that put me in the hospital. So has anyone noticed that it happens or an increase during certain time of the years?


Its funny these anxieties have come back in a similar way too. Breathing concerns, Sleeping concerns, some slight depression and just general anxiety. The good part though is none of those have affected my daily life like it did before. So its a good progress forward.

Any ways, to those that are having relapses, no worries! It happens, but notice how well you recover from the relapse as I am monitoring it and notice how it hasnt affected how I do daily things anymore, like it used to.

[Enduronman]

Mine tends to worsen in the fall, because I'm going to be forced to deal with being trapped indoors more often, listening to stupid drama television that I don't watch!
You'll make it through this friend, I have faith that you will.
Have a good day!

E-Man :)

[Exactice]

Awww that makes sense, Hmmm well Lucky being in Hawaii we have the same weather year around, its funny that its acting up recently.

Anyways thanks for the well wishes, it will pass I am sure, and my recovery is so fast now. Before I probably wouldnt be able to go to work for a couple of days, now I just shrug it off, I feel it but I dont feel like running away like I used to!

[Exactice]

Well I posted this a month ago and it seems to be creeping in a little more at a time. I wonder why. This is about the same time last year it started to do this.

So the depersonalization is back, the thoughts of suicide is somewhat back and the negative thoughts are back. The good part is that I am not negatively affected by it like I was before. I think its because I am more aware of what it is, rather than not knowing what it is. Its hella annoying and really being a pain in my butt, though I am surviving. So I cant complain. I wonder what is causing this as things have or I thought were good?

Well anyways, it does relapse, but again people look at the fact that it is not as intense as we learned about it from before!

[JustaGal]

Well I posted this a month ago and it seems to be creeping in a little more at a time. I wonder why. This is about the same time last year it started to do this.

So the depersonalization is back, the thoughts of suicide is somewhat back and the negative thoughts are back. The good part is that I am not negatively affected by it like I was before. I think its because I am more aware of what it is, rather than not knowing what it is. Its hella annoying and really being a pain in my butt, though I am surviving. So I cant complain. I wonder what is causing this as things have or I thought were good?

Well anyways, it does relapse, but again people look at the fact that it is not as intense as we learned about it from before!

So bizarre how negative thoughts are tied in...it is hella annoying...

[Exactice]

So bizarre how negative thoughts are tied in...it is hella annoying...

Thank goodness it has become more than an annoyance rather than being something serious. Before I had to take steps to actually protect myself. Its just weird that its been acting up recently.

[JustaGal]

Thank goodness it has become more than an annoyance rather than being something serious. Before I had to take steps to actually protect myself. Its just weird that its been acting up recently.

Are you taking meds? Just curious if that helps, I know it helps me.

[Exactice]

Are you taking meds? Just curious if that helps, I know it helps me.

Yes I am on fluoxetine (Porzac) and if needed Alprazolam (Zoloft). I take 20mgs of Fluoxetine, it has help tremendously since I have taken it. The first 3 weeks were hell but I felt so much better. The Alprazolam, I havent take in a really really long time. I havent felt the need to take it so I have stayed away from it.

I know the meds do help but recently its seemingly acting weird. I am wondering if it has to do with sleep deprivation. I havent been sleeping well at all in the last 3 weeks on top of the fact that I have worked on my Halloween costume into the wee mornings 1am almost every day to complete it LOL. I wonder if I get my sleep schedule back things will settle down a little????

[JustaGal]

Glad the meds are helpful! Yes, sleep will help as well for sure. : )

[Cullingford]

I don't think you have done yourself any favors staying up late all those nights, try and get to bed at a proper time and hopefully you will start to feel better. :D

[Im-Suffering]

Yes I am on fluoxetine (Porzac) and if needed Alprazolam (Zoloft). I take 20mgs of Fluoxetine, it has help tremendously since I have taken it. The first 3 weeks were hell but I felt so much better. The Alprazolam, I havent take in a really really long time. I havent felt the need to take it so I have stayed away from it.

I know the meds do help but recently its seemingly acting weird. I am wondering if it has to do with sleep deprivation. I havent been sleeping well at all in the last 3 weeks on top of the fact that I have worked on my Halloween costume into the wee mornings 1am almost every day to complete it LOL. I wonder if I get my sleep schedule back things will settle down a little????

The anxiety of course is part fear-avoidence, part nerve sensitization, and part childhood psychological. (Incl. current unresolved problems that seem to linger, meaning to some degree rendering the observer powerless to change). A true recipe for disaster.

Let's discuss all three here for all readers.

Now your body to an extent is on higher alert than someone without anxiety 'disorder' (quotes). For you it takes less stress to set it off code red you understand. We have discussed this before. On a scale of 1-10, the avg Joe is at a 2 or 3 where 7 would set of a physiological attack. Normal stresses others than danger bring him up and down under the 5 mark. You (or the person with nervous disorder) are always at a 5 where normal stresses put you over the red line, you see. Over time and with repeated high stress you have slowly raised the norm.. Sensitization means you are always on high alert. Even when you feel relaxed and safe. A pin drop could set of a full blown panic attack.

Fear avoidance of course is the main issue that maintains the so called illness, and starts the health anxiety and agoraphobia. So with the setbacks such as this one, watch out for your incideous foe "fear avoidance". If the FA (fear avoidance) could speak : " I'll be ok if I just avoid ...or..since I feel pain from this or that I'll stay away from..."

And lastly the meds which to a large extent block the natural chemicals from occurring as "triggers" to go within and (find) heal the traumas in your life which in themselves serve as the origins of the other 2 issues discussed above. This includes unresolved issues or problems in your current life that overwhelm you either intermittently or are chronic and seem beyond your reach, period. Some current problems are simply swept aside for sometimes years, leaving in its trail despondency and powerlessness. Despondent feelings are the catalyst for depression. Beliefs are the star player in all cases however. A belief would say, "that's just the way it is...." And thus often beliefs are just as incideous for they camoflage themselves as the truth, and as 'facts of life' they go unquestioned.

I wanted to make the point that one is not depressed because he feels despondent, one is despondent because of unresolved problems. Now, the mood would immediately change should those problems be solved.

This post could be great help to some people. And so the circle of influence is much larger than just the OP

[Exactice]

Thanks Suffering! Great post.

I am not sure about unresolved issues and or childhood issues. I think you know my story so a lot may be from my Military Deployments, Father Death and Fiance separation all at the same time.

Anyways you are absolutely right on the sensations and being on "high alert" all the time. Its funny I was doing really well until recently, but I am narrowing it down to sleep. Lately I havent slept well and its been making my anxiety wild, but now that I have been getting better sleep, I have been feeling better!

Ill keep you posted, Would also love your input on my other post about my experiment?

[JustaGal]

The anxiety of course is part fear-avoidence, part nerve sensitization, and part childhood psychological. (Incl. current unresolved problems that seem to linger, meaning to some degree rendering the observer powerless to change). A true recipe for disaster.

Let's discuss all three here for all readers.

Now your body to an extent is on higher alert than someone without anxiety 'disorder' (quotes). For you it takes less stress to set it off code red you understand. We have discussed this before. On a scale of 1-10, the avg Joe is at a 2 or 3 where 7 would set of a physiological attack. Normal stresses others than danger bring him up and down under the 5 mark. You (or the person with nervous disorder) are always at a 5 where normal stresses put you over the red line, you see. Over time and with repeated high stress you have slowly raised the norm.. Sensitization means you are always on high alert. Even when you feel relaxed and safe. A pin drop could set of a full blown panic attack.

Fear avoidance of course is the main issue that maintains the so called illness, and starts the health anxiety and agoraphobia. So with the setbacks such as this one, watch out for your incideous foe "fear avoidance". If the FA (fear avoidance) could speak : " I'll be ok if I just avoid ...or..since I feel pain from this or that I'll stay away from..."

And lastly the meds which to a large extent block the natural chemicals from occurring as "triggers" to go within and (find) heal the traumas in your life which in themselves serve as the origins of the other 2 issues discussed above. This includes unresolved issues or problems in your current life that overwhelm you either intermittently or are chronic and seem beyond your reach, period. Some current problems are simply swept aside for sometimes years, leaving in its trail despondency and powerlessness. Despondent feelings are the catalyst for depression. Beliefs are the star player in all cases however. A belief would say, "that's just the way it is...." And thus often beliefs are just as incideous for they camoflage themselves as the truth, and as 'facts of life' they go unquestioned.

I wanted to make the point that one is not depressed because he feels despondent, one is despondent because of unresolved problems. Now, the mood would immediately change should those problems be solved.

This post could be great help to some people. And so the circle of influence is much larger than just the OP

"I wanted to make the point that one is not depressed because he feels despondent, one is despondent because of unresolved problems. Now, the mood would immediately change should those problems be solved."

I agree, although I am frustrated with years of on and off therapy, support groups.....what is the best way to find out what the unresolved problem is. I know mine is a unstable alcoholic mother

[Exactice]

Justa, I agree, it must be tough searching out our repressed feelings and unresolved problems. I wonder what it could be. Mine could be the War, and not saying what I needed to say to my Father and my Ex at the time? Who the heck knows LOL!

[JustaGal]

Justa, I agree, it must be tough searching out our repressed feelings and unresolved problems. I wonder what it could be. Mine could be the War, and not saying what I needed to say to my Father and my Ex at the time? Who the heck knows LOL!

There is so much! YIKES : ) I just want to reach in and pull it out and be a happy rock star ever after!

[Exactice]

There is so much! YIKES : ) I just want to reach in and pull it out and be a happy rock star ever after!


Totally agree.... just want to be how I was years ago when I had no idea what the heck panic and anxiety was!

[Im-Suffering]

"I wanted to make the point that one is not depressed because he feels despondent, one is despondent because of unresolved problems. Now, the mood would immediately change should those problems be solved."

I agree, although I am frustrated with years of on and off therapy, support groups.....what is the best way to find out what the unresolved problem is. I know mine is a unstable alcoholic mother

Let's move through the steps of (symbolic) grief, hidden thought, beliefs. Some to painful to feel so they are swept under the rug:

"I have an unstable alcoholic mother" so,
"I hate her when she drinks or abuses anyone under the influence",
" I resent her"
"I blame her"
"I feel shame, guilt over who she is"
"I am afraid I will wind up like her, become her"
" I missed out on a lot of things"
"I wish she was different"
"I am sad for her"
"I am sad for me, I missed out on a mom"

"I want her love, I want to give her love. I hate the behavior because it separates us"

"I am despondent because I cannot help her, I feel powerless. And when this occurs for a length of time i can be said to be depressed".

" I am never quite right, even when I laugh, even when with friends or out and about, there is a pervasive feeling of sadness. I am always sad underneath. I got the raw end of the stick, the raw deal, I got screwed out of a parent"

" I understand that I must solve the problems that I can, for myself, so I can find peace and joy. I must unfortunately leave behind others to fight their own battles for themselves. I cannot sit in the mire with them and sink purely out of guilt"

"I love you mom, I always will. But love for myself does not allow me to stand and take abuse, or be abused. Love does not abuse, love heals. There for it is not a sin that I leave you to your own vice (it is a sin if i dont). I cannot let it destroy my life. My life is valuable"

(How can I see my life as valuable when my mother does not value her own? This is my conditioning)

"I cannot join you anymore, I can cry over missed opportunities in our relationship, cry for the loss of a mother, I can grieve, and feel all the emotions, but then I must let go"

"My problem is in thinking it is my problem" "I can change myself, but no other, I can feel the detachment as a death within myself, but over that blackness is freedom."

"The outcome will be love" "I am then free to experience joy, after i realize whats needed. The symbolic death of our relationship"

[JustaGal]

Let's move through the steps of (symbolic) grief, hidden thought, beliefs. Some to painful to feel so they are swept under the rug:

"I have an unstable alcoholic mother" so,
"I hate her when she drinks or abuses anyone under the influence",
" I resent her"
"I blame her"
"I feel shame, guilt over who she is"
"I am afraid I will wind up like her, become her"
" I missed out on a lot of things"
"I wish she was different"
"I am sad for her"
"I am sad for me, I missed out on a mom"

"I want her love, I want to give her love. I hate the behavior because it separates us"

"I am despondent because I cannot help her, I feel powerless. And when this occurs for a length of time i can be said to be depressed".

" I am never quite right, even when I laugh, even when with friends or out and about, there is a pervasive feeling of sadness. I am always sad underneath. I got the raw end of the stick, the raw deal, I got screwed out of a parent"

" I understand that I must solve the problems that I can, for myself, so I can find peace and joy. I must unfortunately leave behind others to fight their own battles for themselves. I cannot sit in the mire with them and sink purely out of guilt"

"I love you mom, I always will. But love for myself does not allow me to stand and take abuse, or be abused. Love does not abuse, love heals. There for it is not a sin that I leave you to your own vice. I cannot let it destroy my life. My life is valuable"

(How can I see my life as valuable when my mother does not value her own? This is my conditioning)

"I cannot join you anymore, I can cry over missed opportunities in our relationship, cry for the loss of a mother, I can grieve, and feel all the emotions, but then I must let go"

"My problem is in thinking it is my problem" "I can change myself, but no other, I can feel the detachment as a death within myself, but over that blackness is freedom."

"The outcome will be love" "I am then free to experience joy, after i realize whats needed. The symbolic death of our relationship"

Thank you! I want to let go.....

""I am despondent because I cannot help her, I feel powerless. And when this occurs for a length of time i can be said to be depressed".

" I am never quite right, even when I laugh, even when with friends or out and about, there is a pervasive feeling of sadness. I am always sad underneath. I got the raw end of the stick, the raw deal."

That is spot on

[Im-Suffering]

Thank you! I want to let go.....

""I am despondent because I cannot help her, I feel powerless. And when this occurs for a length of time i can be said to be depressed".

" I am never quite right, even when I laugh, even when with friends or out and about, there is a pervasive feeling of sadness. I am always sad underneath. I got the raw end of the stick, the raw deal."

That is spot on

Save the post, continue to reread it until it 'clicks' what you must do. Its all there, because it will bring up more as needed.

[JustaGal]

Save the post, continue to reread it until it 'clicks' what you must do. Its all there, because it will bring up more as needed.

I sure will, much appreciated!