Anxiety free for a few years - Could I be relapsing?

[wintergym]

After years of issues beforehand, I was finally diagnosed with GAD over a decade ago. Going on Zoloft and then Lexapro gave me a new life. I remember some of what it used to be like, but I don't really remember exactly what it was like.

Maybe I got greedy, but after watching my wife almost die in the hospital 2 years ago and then having a scare myself about a possible recurrence of my thyroid cancer, I promised myself I had to make sure I would always be there to take care of her. So I made sure I straightened out my thyroid issues by switching to a new doctor and endocrinologist, and then I started dieting and going to the gym every day. I lost 50 pounds. I got more energy then I ever had. And the only thing holding me back was the tiredness that lexapro always gave me, and that was now no longer compatible with my newly found active lifestyle.

So I weaned myself off of lexapro, and I never missed being on it. My tiredness went away. My libido went through the roof. My IBS disappeared. My anxiety was no where to be found.

Early this year however, I was faced with some very serious tragedies with one of my sons, then my sister, then my mother, and my father. And then a major change with my career.

I started getting anxious and irritable. Everything would upset me, no matter how simple of an issue it was. I was constantly stressed 24/7 for several weeks. I couldn't control my emotions

Then it stopped. Nothing was upsetting me anymore. All of a sudden it stopped. And I felt relieved. But shortly thereafter, physical symptoms started appearing instead.

So even though I feel completely calm right now....
I am exhausted.
My muscles are sore and achy, like I haven't used them in years, even though for the past 2 year I've worked out at the gym constantly.
It feels like the inside of my entire body is vibrating/shaking (very scary sensation)
I have tingling and numbness all over my body and even more so in my feet and hands, which also feel cold
I try to go to sleep, but even when I wake up these sensations are still there even though I feel calm.

I do remember feeling things like this at one time or another in the past, but my memory doesn't recall feeling so much of these things all at once.

Can anyone relate to having anxiety related symptoms like this without actually feeling anxious?

[Im-Suffering]

After years of issues beforehand, I was finally diagnosed with GAD over a decade ago. Going on Zoloft and then Lexapro gave me a new life. I remember some of what it used to be like, but I don't really remember exactly what it was like.

Maybe I got greedy, but after watching my wife almost die in the hospital 2 years ago and then having a scare myself about a possible recurrence of my thyroid cancer, I promised myself I had to make sure I would always be there to take care of her. So I made sure I straightened out my thyroid issues by switching to a new doctor and endocrinologist, and then I started dieting and going to the gym every day. I lost 50 pounds. I got more energy then I ever had. And the only thing holding me back was the tiredness that lexapro always gave me, and that was now no longer compatible with my newly found active lifestyle.

So I weaned myself off of lexapro, and I never missed being on it. My tiredness went away. My libido went through the roof. My IBS disappeared. My anxiety was no where to be found.

Early this year however, I was faced with some very serious tragedies with one of my sons, then my sister, then my mother, and my father. And then a major change with my career.

I started getting anxious and irritable. Everything would upset me, no matter how simple of an issue it was. I was constantly stressed 24/7 for several weeks. I couldn't control my emotions

Then it stopped. Nothing was upsetting me anymore. All of a sudden it stopped. And I felt relieved. But shortly thereafter, physical symptoms started appearing instead.

So even though I feel completely calm right now....
I am exhausted.
My muscles are sore and achy, like I haven't used them in years, even though for the past 2 year I've worked out at the gym constantly.
It feels like the inside of my entire body is vibrating/shaking (very scary sensation)
I have tingling and numbness all over my body and even more so in my feet and hands, which also feel cold
I try to go to sleep, but even when I wake up these sensations are still there even though I feel calm.

I do remember feeling things like this at one time or another in the past, but my memory doesn't recall feeling so much of these things all at once.

Can anyone relate to having anxiety related symptoms like this without actually feeling anxious?


Of course. Have you felt and dealt with the overwhelming emotions from earlier in the year? PTS certainly possible, with residue from the chemicals. You've got the tail end of the body's response to heightened emotional levels for a prolonged period. Reminding you to face and release. The vibration won't hurt you, and with some rest, calm, it will subside. The body is so resilient, and able to cope with extraordinary states for long periods, rather miraculous. For months it seems, you dump adrenaline among other stress chemicals - in higher quantities into the blood, rattling the nervous system - and yet it has kept its balance more or less except for the residual effects mentioned, a byproduct of the overflow. The aches, restlessness, shaking, rumbling, all normal reactions - natural to the body as it tries to kick off the excess stress and deal with the stimuli, both imagined from fear, and real.

Until you deal with the emotional triggers however the adrenaline with continue in spurts, so it's advised to face the inner turmoil of which the outer is the representation. And rest adequately, sleep where the body naturally recouperates. However when you awake the psyche presents once again the imagined stimuli which then the body has to deal with. It finds itself quite confused dealing with imaginary stimuli from past, present, and future all at once.

No stress is present for the body to deal with, and you may feel relaxed, yet it's receiving imaginary pictures of dire future circumstances which it must deal with since the imagination and the body are in tuned. I do hope you 'get' this, for it is difficult to put into words what is felt and experienced.

Deal with the psyche, heal there, release that pain first. Now, you never did deal fully with the emotional components years ago that triggered the original bouts. You numbed them down with the drugs and exercised hoping the display of drama, (rituals) would alleviate the outward symptoms.

In addition to the fresh experiences then you also have the past to deal with. There is no running no matter the years that pass. Who can you run from?