Leh
06-19-2008, 06:24 PM
When I was around 17 I started to have trouble sleeping, I would wake up all of a sudden because of this horrible drop feeling in my chest and I would be absolutely freaked out! In the beginning it was just trouble sleeping because of these random drops, it would come and go and I wrote it off. When I was 18 I moved with my family and boyfriend at the time to a new state. Things were fine for the first year or so, until one day...
In December my boyfriend at the time and I went on a road trip about 4-6 hours outside of where we lived. It was winter and a bit further up north so it was very cold and snowing, which is something I hadn't experienced in about 15-16 years. Things weren't fantastic during the vacation, he was very pushy and there were many things we did that I was pretty terrified to do. I was not a worrier then, but I was cautious as I had been in a car accident when I was 17. However he forced me, or gave me no choice to do some of these things <---this right here is what I blame my anxiety on! I should have gotten out of this relationship long before, I might not be in this situation now, but I'm trying to get better. Let me explain my anxiety. Ive been on 2 different medications for anxiety, a benzodiapene (Ativan), and a SSRI (Celexa). I was 20 years old when I was prescribed these. They helped in the beginning, my anxiety was so severe that I could barely leave the couch without feeling like I was dying. I'm not like that now, but now I do not take Ativan or Celexa. I took them for almost a year and initially due to not being able to afford the every other week doctor visits to keep me on them, I made the painstaking decision to stop taking them. I did everything about stopping them that I should, I tapered off of them slowing, taking about a month or two for each one. Although I stopped them at different times. Things were BAD during the withdrawals from the medications, SEVERE dizziness was the worst, but its gone now. I'm doing much better than I used to, but things aren't perfect and I still have some anxiety. I mostly have a LOT of chest pain, every time I get anxious, my chest will hurt and I always panic is something really wrong, what if its bad, what if I die?! when I get these chest pains. They usually last a long time, days, weeks, until I can calm down a bit. I get headaches occasionally, and sometimes insomnia, which doesn't last long. Well thats kinda the short version, although thats not quite short. Also, some good news! I am no longer with the boyfriend who caused me all this pain, I have found a new man who not only has stood by me through EVERY SINGLE DAY of my pain, but is one of the very few things that makes me forget about my anxiety! I thank god every day for a person like him, people like this can help make living with anxiety more tolerable.
The reason I joined this forum is more to help ease my mind than anything else. Being around (or in this case "in contact") with people who know what I'm going through and being able to reassure me that this is indeed anxiety and that I'm not going to die is the greatest thing to hear!
btw, I am 21 years old now, going to be 22 next month...I have officially "suffered" from anxiety for 2 and a half years. I know I have not gone through as much as others here but I hope that your support and experiences will make things a little easier every day. :P
In December my boyfriend at the time and I went on a road trip about 4-6 hours outside of where we lived. It was winter and a bit further up north so it was very cold and snowing, which is something I hadn't experienced in about 15-16 years. Things weren't fantastic during the vacation, he was very pushy and there were many things we did that I was pretty terrified to do. I was not a worrier then, but I was cautious as I had been in a car accident when I was 17. However he forced me, or gave me no choice to do some of these things <---this right here is what I blame my anxiety on! I should have gotten out of this relationship long before, I might not be in this situation now, but I'm trying to get better. Let me explain my anxiety. Ive been on 2 different medications for anxiety, a benzodiapene (Ativan), and a SSRI (Celexa). I was 20 years old when I was prescribed these. They helped in the beginning, my anxiety was so severe that I could barely leave the couch without feeling like I was dying. I'm not like that now, but now I do not take Ativan or Celexa. I took them for almost a year and initially due to not being able to afford the every other week doctor visits to keep me on them, I made the painstaking decision to stop taking them. I did everything about stopping them that I should, I tapered off of them slowing, taking about a month or two for each one. Although I stopped them at different times. Things were BAD during the withdrawals from the medications, SEVERE dizziness was the worst, but its gone now. I'm doing much better than I used to, but things aren't perfect and I still have some anxiety. I mostly have a LOT of chest pain, every time I get anxious, my chest will hurt and I always panic is something really wrong, what if its bad, what if I die?! when I get these chest pains. They usually last a long time, days, weeks, until I can calm down a bit. I get headaches occasionally, and sometimes insomnia, which doesn't last long. Well thats kinda the short version, although thats not quite short. Also, some good news! I am no longer with the boyfriend who caused me all this pain, I have found a new man who not only has stood by me through EVERY SINGLE DAY of my pain, but is one of the very few things that makes me forget about my anxiety! I thank god every day for a person like him, people like this can help make living with anxiety more tolerable.
The reason I joined this forum is more to help ease my mind than anything else. Being around (or in this case "in contact") with people who know what I'm going through and being able to reassure me that this is indeed anxiety and that I'm not going to die is the greatest thing to hear!
btw, I am 21 years old now, going to be 22 next month...I have officially "suffered" from anxiety for 2 and a half years. I know I have not gone through as much as others here but I hope that your support and experiences will make things a little easier every day. :P