life is stressing me out

[st0rmageddon]

Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl and I already feel like I can't handle this thing called life.
I made a thread earlier this year about the way i was feeling then (called 'I don't know whats wrong with me'. They wont let me post a link sorry). Between that time and now, I had an alright period. It was summer break and all my friends were gone while I was still at home, but that just meant I had more time to myself. I felt good. Then, I went on holiday and everything went wrong for some reason, I felt awful, alone, stressed, confused. Basically the way i had been feeling for a long time.
Now, school's started. Which means: more stress. I feel different than I did before, though, but still as awful.
I used to scratch my wrist open with my nails, but I stopped doing that after last school year. You can still see the scars and to be honest I feel like I can't stay clean for much longer, it felt so good.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is also because my parents want me to get a job. Like, they don't just want it, they keep pushing me real hard and my dad just came up to me and got mad because I am not doing anything about this job thing. The problem is, they don't know how awful I'm feeling on the inside and have been feeling for like at least a year.
I don't know what to do anymore because it looks like I really have to get a job or my parents will hate me but i have so much anxiety and stress and life is really not loving me right now. I have anxiety about people and school and money and basically everything and i can't take it anymore, honestly. No one even knows about this so there's really not anyone I can talk to except the internet. Please, please help me out.

[Enduronman]

The problem is, they don't know how awful I'm feeling on the inside and have been feeling for like at least a year. No one even knows about this so there's really not anyone I can talk to except the internet. Please, please help me out.

and that's the problem friend..
You're doing exactly what anxiety wants you to do, hide and conceal it from others, yet that takes so much energy from you and it becomes even more deeply rooted in your mind.
I was forced to raise two daughters on my own, and a huge part of actually being a parent was to be overly observant too. I knew I had to try to help them cope with situations.
You're expending so much effort in keeping it hidden away from others, for whatever reasons, and that is the first thing that needs to change too. Open up to your parents about it ALL.
Ask them to help you, seek out medical assistance, seek out a therapist or councilor, talk about it OPENLY...
That's how you defeat it, control it, manage it, learn to cope with it, deal with it.
Life is very challenging already and at such a young age, its time to make that effort as only you can.
There's my thoughts.
Wishing you new found success!

Enduronman :)

[Im-Suffering]

and that's the problem friend..
You're doing exactly what anxiety wants you to do, hide and conceal it from others, yet that takes so much energy from you and it becomes even more deeply rooted in your mind.
I was forced to raise two daughters on my own, and a huge part of actually being a parent was to be overly observant too. I knew I had to try to help them cope with situations.
You're expending so much effort in keeping it hidden away from others, for whatever reasons, and that is the first thing that needs to change too. Open up to your parents about it ALL.
Ask them to help you, seek out medical assistance, seek out a therapist or councilor, talk about it OPENLY...
That's how you defeat it, control it, manage it, learn to cope with it, deal with it.
Life is very challenging already and at such a young age, its time to make that effort as only you can.
There's my thoughts.
Wishing you new found success!

Enduronman :)

I agree with this very wise man.

[Dahila]

So do I:)
Eman always gives an excellent advices to people, with gentleness and understanding. We all admire him.

OP I know that you need to open up. I was ignored with my anxiety, no one wanted to talk about it, and I learned to be quiet. Here is the only place I talk about myself. Open up to your family now people understand more about anxiety and stress. You are very young and I am sure you going to manage it very well. You just need some help and your family is the starting point:))

[st0rmageddon]

and that's the problem friend..
You're doing exactly what anxiety wants you to do, hide and conceal it from others, yet that takes so much energy from you and it becomes even more deeply rooted in your mind.
I was forced to raise two daughters on my own, and a huge part of actually being a parent was to be overly observant too. I knew I had to try to help them cope with situations.
You're expending so much effort in keeping it hidden away from others, for whatever reasons, and that is the first thing that needs to change too. Open up to your parents about it ALL.
Ask them to help you, seek out medical assistance, seek out a therapist or councilor, talk about it OPENLY...
That's how you defeat it, control it, manage it, learn to cope with it, deal with it.
Life is very challenging already and at such a young age, its time to make that effort as only you can.
There's my thoughts.
Wishing you new found success!

Enduronman :)

Thank you so much for answering. I am not even sure about the reason I'm keeping it all hidden from everyone - the only thing I know is that the thing I fear most would be talking to people I know about my anxiety.
I know I should, but I get the urge to cry just thinking about it.
I told my best friend that I was 'feeling pretty messed up' once, and she was just like 'oh i didnt know'. She didnt ask what I was feeling or anything. Also one time my english teacher asked why I didnt participate in these English conferences you can do, since my english was so good (I am not a native English speacher).
I told him I couldnt because I would get extremely nervous and stuff and he talked to me about it for like 15 minutes.
Those are probably the only times I got close to telling it all.
Do you have any tips for making anxiety easier without having to tell other people about it?

[Anne1221]

Well, you could go out and try to find a small, part time job. In a way, it might be fun and by talking to others and getting outside of yourself, you might feel better. I loved my first job at a department store! If you can't do that, then you HAVE to tell someone...just one person to get started . Now think about this: who is one person you could open up to (a real life person, not just us) and talk to? One of your parents, a teacher ,a school counselor? I kind of like that english teacher because he/she has observed you and taken an interest in your doing well with your natural abilities, but the one person is your choice. Here's the good news..you will be AMAZED at how much better you would feel once the flood gates are opened and you are no longer handling this all by yourself. If i had a 16 year old daughter, BY ALL MEANS WOULD I WANT HER TO SHARE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME!

[Enduronman]

Do you have any tips for making anxiety easier without having to tell other people about it?

There is no way to rid yourself of these fears, thoughts, issues, without revealing the anxiety to others...sorry.

Enduronman.

[Anra]

Honestly one of the worst things you can do is keep everything bottled up and locked away! I suggest confiding in with someone close to you that you can trust; perhaps even your parents. Letting your family know you are struggling can make things easier on you, especially if you feel as though they are putting pressure on you.

You are very young and at a tender age and having been through a rough time in my teenage years I assure you that it will get better! I've also hurt myself in my low times, but now I deeply regret it; I have scars which later this month I am visiting the DRs to see if I can get them removed. You do not want scars, they are a constant reminder of your bad times and an embarrassment as other people can see them.

It could pay off taking a trip to your DR to see what help he or she can offer you; they may combine medication to help stablize your moods with CBT, or do either one seperately. If you prefer to avoid meds then do mention this to your DR as they can focus on some sort of therapy instead.

Life is very stressful at times, but there are also the wonderful moments.

I found that during my bad nights venting would help me calm down enough to avoid doing anything silly. Writing or drawing became how I spent a lot of my nights, as did taking walks with my dog.

Remember that you are not alone in the way you are feeling~

[Dahila]

Oh my son draws when he is stressed out, writing is an excellent idea, I had done it for years, in my mother tongue. I had so many stories I could make a book of that:)) Write anra it will help you to control better the anxiety:) Welcome to the forum :)

[st0rmageddon]

Thank you all for replying.
I think I'm gonna tell a friend about it, and then if i'm ready my parents. The problem is, I have good and bad phases. When i'm in a good one, I keep thinking i was just overreacting about everything. It's like I have two versions of me. It's really annoying.

When I'm stressed out I usually watch tv shows or write. Ive been writing stories ever since I could spell.
Oh, and my dog totally relaxes me. I bury my face in his coat when I'm stressed. Man, i love dogs.

Anyway, it's quite clear that I should talk to someone. I wonder if i'll ever get the courage to do it.

p.s. I applied for the job yesterday.

[Enduronman]

Talking with your parents, would be the first step towards a positive direction...
Then take it from there, to a doctor, to a therapist.
Congratulations in applying for a job too! That is a positive step as well.
Have a good day!

Enduronman :)

[Anne1221]

I am so proud of you! It sounds like you're going to reach out and take that first step and tell someone. Even if it's only sometimes, and not all the time, it's still an issue you need to address and work on before it gets worse. Good for you for taking a first step.
And it will be so much easier to tell someone (and a relief) than you're thinking now that it would be.