Two months in, starting to feel even MORE different

[jiffnon]

I've had an anxiety disorder for around two months now and it's been quite hellish with my symptoms shifting often and leading me to constantly question myself. I've always been obsessed with music but a week ago I became conscious of music being stuck in my head and now it's constant, even when I'm sleeping.

My sleeps have been very light and my dreams rather vivid/lucid for the past few weeks thanks to anxiety, but this week I barely seem to sleep at all. It seems more like I'm in a mild trance than a deep sleep, and I seem to wake too early. On top of this, my way of thinking seems to have changed. My train of thought seems very fragmented and messy, with odd thoughts often popping up out of nowhere.

I thought I'd experienced the worst of this horrid mental affliction but it just keeps getting worse, which is doing nothing to ease my fear of psychosis/schizophrenia/bipolar. Have any seasoned anxiety veterans experienced what I'm going through right now? I started CBT yesterday but I wish I'd done it sooner. :(

[Enduronman]

I always have a song in my head when I awake and its always something new from yesteryear and today. Even when I go to sleep.
Generally calming sounds as it helps me to take the focus off of what I'm presently going through. An extremely tough time to say the least.
Maybe you should think about trying some of the different medications or supplements designed to help you actually sleep because without restful sleep, anxiety will grow stronger.
Lack of sleep in itself is enough to cause these fragmented thoughts and odd thoughts coming from no where.
Actually feeding your fears of mental disorders.
That's great that you have started CBT but maybe you should think about adding in something more, some medications to assist you in this cycle of self doubt, anxiety, concerns...
or at least something to get you well rested anyway.
Just my thoughts on this issue.
46 years with anxiety, a seasoned veteran persay..
Wishing you better days ahead.

Enduronman :)

[Kixxi]

I've had an anxiety disorder for around two months now and it's been quite hellish with my symptoms shifting often and leading me to constantly question myself. I've always been obsessed with music but a week ago I became conscious of music being stuck in my head and now it's constant, even when I'm sleeping.

My sleeps have been very light and my dreams rather vivid/lucid for the past few weeks thanks to anxiety, but this week I barely seem to sleep at all. It seems more like I'm in a mild trance than a deep sleep, and I seem to wake too early. On top of this, my way of thinking seems to have changed. My train of thought seems very fragmented and messy, with odd thoughts often popping up out of nowhere.

I thought I'd experienced the worst of this horrid mental affliction but it just keeps getting worse, which is doing nothing to ease my fear of psychosis/schizophrenia/bipolar. Have any seasoned anxiety veterans experienced what I'm going through right now? I started CBT yesterday but I wish I'd done it sooner. :(

Sleeping problems can also feed your anxiety. I still get sleeping problems sometimes. At the moment I have problems getting to sleep and I been sleeping to little for the past week or so. However, the skills you learn in CBT should really give you the tools and fight the restlessness before you go to bed.

[Xerosnake90]

Your fear of psychosis and schizophrenia is a symptom and mindset that is driving that fear. If you were going crazy you wouldn't be worrying about going crazy. You'd be doing it unbeknownst to you! A general rule of anxiety in regards to symptoms is if you feel it when you're fearing it, and you fear it while you're thinking it. It's not happening! This is one of the many thoughts leading to your anxiety. You will learn much trough your therapy sessions and you will feel better my friend. Anxiety thoughts are massively overwhelming when they take hold. Take charge again of your thought pattern and you will overcome this.

Music being stuck in your head is a thing to be appreciative of. When replacing negative thoughts that lead to fear and anxiety songs turn into a lullaby of calm. I now appreciate when my thoughts are replaced with music, positive music at that. Harness that music being stuck in your mind and the message you keep repeating to yourself.

[willgetbetter89]

I am going through the EXACT SAME THING right now...

I can't stand the thought of relating it all back to schizophrenia or anything psychotic like that. Which I seem to be doing all the time!

I know my anxiety/ocd is fuelling it but how do I make it stop?? This has been going on for over a month now, if it all anxiety/ocd I can accept it and move to recovery. I have seen psychiatrist, and I go to a psychologist every second week and both have said it is anxiety/ocd..

I am a musician (always have been) so I suppose I have always been aware of music. but why is it every song I listen to gets stuck in my head until I hear a different song.....

[jiffnon]

I am going through the EXACT SAME THING right now...

I can't stand the thought of relating it all back to schizophrenia or anything psychotic like that. Which I seem to be doing all the time!

I know my anxiety/ocd is fuelling it but how do I make it stop?? This has been going on for over a month now, if it all anxiety/ocd I can accept it and move to recovery. I have seen psychiatrist, and I go to a psychologist every second week and both have said it is anxiety/ocd..

I am a musician (always have been) so I suppose I have always been aware of music. but why is it every song I listen to gets stuck in my head until I hear a different song.....

The same thing is happening to me regarding songs being stuck into my head until I hear something else. Even when I'm watching TV a song from a commercial will get stuck in my head as soon as it's finished playing. Maddening. It's obviously being made far worse by the fact I'm currently fretting over my mental health and will most likely decrease in severity once I stop worrying about it, but it's still upsetting.

On the plus side, I guess we could have worse stuff stuck in our heads.

[Xerosnake90]

I am going through the EXACT SAME THING right now...

I can't stand the thought of relating it all back to schizophrenia or anything psychotic like that. Which I seem to be doing all the time!

I know my anxiety/ocd is fuelling it but how do I make it stop?? This has been going on for over a month now, if it all anxiety/ocd I can accept it and move to recovery. I have seen psychiatrist, and I go to a psychologist every second week and both have said it is anxiety/ocd..

I am a musician (always have been) so I suppose I have always been aware of music. but why is it every song I listen to gets stuck in my head until I hear a different song.....

My thread is in my signature. Welcome to the forum and read through the thread to help you understand a bit better what you're going through.

[willgetbetter89]

Thanks for the help. But I can't shake the fact that it is related to schizophrenia... I've had pure ocd for the last 6 months. But this just seems so much more than that.. I wish somebody could help

[willgetbetter89]

How are you going with all this jiffnon? Please keep me posted.

I sometimes get a grip of the songs in my head, but because I am so aware of them being there or not being there it is very easy to fuel it to start again, my psychologist has made it clear to me to go along with it and let the songs play.. This does help a lot. But not 100%

This very moment I have no song in my head which is very relaxing.. Until it starts again lol

[jiffnon]

How are you going with all this jiffnon? Please keep me posted.

I sometimes get a grip of the songs in my head, but because I am so aware of them being there or not being there it is very easy to fuel it to start again, my psychologist has made it clear to me to go along with it and let the songs play.. This does help a lot. But not 100%

This very moment I have no song in my head which is very relaxing.. Until it starts again lol

It's still present nearly all of the time. It doesn't tend to bother me when I'm distracted or in a good mood. What's frustrating is I don't know if it's OCD or just racing thoughts.

Do you have my other symptoms too or just the songs?

[willgetbetter89]

This all started when I came down with the really bad flue, also I was pumping myself with all sorts of supplements like magnesium/viatamins/krill oil and a natural anxiety tablet. At the same time I was taking 2mg valium when I couldn't sleep (maybe once a week). On top of this I was taking my anti biotics. So deep down inside me I blame it on some sort of toxicity but I will never know...

Apart from the songs in head, I've had vivid dreams, hypnagogic states during awaking from sleep (although they are not that bad anymore) random thoughts, headaches, eye floaters.

During this I went through a bad stage of health anxiety bringing me to the doctor once a week.. All tests came back all good..

I'm confident to say it's my anxiety/ocd.. But still just really worried

[jiffnon]

This all started when I came down with the really bad flue, also I was pumping myself with all sorts of supplements like magnesium/viatamins/krill oil and a natural anxiety tablet. At the same time I was taking 2mg valium when I couldn't sleep (maybe once a week). On top of this I was taking my anti biotics. So deep down inside me I blame it on some sort of toxicity but I will never know...

Apart from the songs in head, I've had vivid dreams, hypnagogic states during awaking from sleep (although they are not that bad anymore) random thoughts, headaches, eye floaters.

During this I went through a bad stage of health anxiety bringing me to the doctor once a week.. All tests came back all good..

I'm confident to say it's my anxiety/ocd.. But still just really worried

You don't sound too dissimilar to me. My main symptoms right now are the songs, random thoughts, visual snow, worsened tinnitus, mood swings, mild depersonalization and bad sleep. At the moment I seem to be dreaming without actually falling asleep which is a worry, and no doubt making my other symptoms worse. I don't remember the last time I had a deep sleep.

Have you tried therapy?

[willgetbetter89]

I'm not on medication. I Don't really want to take that path.. I have been seeing a psychologist, he is full aware of my symptoms and always reassures me that it is anxiety and intrusive thoughts which I am no stranger to. I really am curious as to how our symptoms are very similar. Are you doing any therapy at the moment?

[jiffnon]

I'm not on medication either but I wouldn't be averse to taking something for my bad sleeps if they continue. How long has anxiety been going on for you?

I started CBT last week so it's early days yet, but hopefully I begin to make an improvement.

[willgetbetter89]

I have had anxiety for a about 5 years.. But only the last 6 months have been bad for me

For as long as I've had anxiety I've always seemed to manage it so it was never a big deal to me. But I must admit this has been a real big shock to me. I've had alot of bad things happen around me in the last few months so maybe the way I'm feeling now is due to all the stress from it. I understand completely how you feel right now so your not alone..

I hope you get the answers your looking for and I would love to know of any improvement you have. I will be sure to do the same

[willgetbetter89]

Also. About the visual snow, Are you sure it is not eye floaters? Because if they are I have been told that they are completely normal. I had my eyes checked a couple of weeks ago

[jiffnon]

Be sure to keep me updated !

What worries me is a lot of the time I'll search my symptoms and they're often suffered by people who have been suffering for years, like your good self. I've only had it for two months, which makes me worry that it's developing into something more severe. It seems quite rapid. It all started off with me worrying about physical illnesses but now my focus has shifted to mental.

[jiffnon]

I have floaters a swell as visual snow. I've had both since I was a kid and they've never bothered me but the hypersensitivity I experience as a result of anxiety has made them way worse.

[willgetbetter89]

health anxiety.. I've had that a couple of times.. You just have to accept that you are healthy, I was reassured so many times of this.. I did over come it.. Then it turned into to mental health, which I am still unsure of.. as I have said previously, my psychologist has reassured me many times that it is anxiety and ocd intrusive thoughts... When I say ocd, I have no compulsions what so ever, maybe looking up symptoms would be classed as one but so be it..

Looking up symptoms has to be the worst thing we could possibly do. You must stop that.

The only advice I can give which has worked for me which may be right or wrong, is going along with every thought u have.. Just have the thoughts and reassure yourself that you don't care. Let them pop up and let them be whatever they are. The whole deal with anxiety is to not fear your thoughts. You need to do this for a while, you will notice that after a while the thought will come and will not make you anxious. Then eventually you will not have the thoughts at all.. This really does work

About the songs in your head. I wish I could help because I need it too lol.. but using the above advice does also help with this.

[jiffnon]

I'm sure we'll get over the songs eventually. Most likely they will fade as we begin to worry about them less and less. They're at their worst for me when I'm fretting over the way my mind works. When this happens I also get brief snatches of random, nonsense mind chatter which is very disconcerting when you focus on it.