Totally freaking out! Please help.

[Single_Dad]

Hi everyone. I am having a very bad weekend. Besides a bad experience with new meds, please see my post in Medicine, my computer just died on me. I have a macbook and it just froze and now it cannot find its own disk drive to reinstall or load my backup. Since I use it a lot for chat which I was until it crashed when I am stressed and
/or having panic attacks. I'm using my phone which requires more patience.... I am super stressed and feel anothet episode creeping in. I just need some TLC and something to get my mind off stuff. I tried s nice bath but that did not help either. Thanks for your help and concern.

[darkavenger]

Salutations Single_Dad,

I'm working with computers for 21 years now :-), just FYi. You mentioned You have Mac Book, as a backup machine, iPad does the trick most of the time. I'm full time Apple servician, but TBH, I hate Apple products, they cause most of the pain in my ass all the time and spare parts are helluva expensive.

If You thought about alternative, I strongly suggest instead of iPad the Lenovo Miix 2 11, in it's maxed configuration. It cost half of the iPad, and pack a lot more punch then iPad [i5, 8 gigs of ram, 256 SSD, Windows 8.1].

More to Your problem. You're most likely a "single dad". Do You have Your kid[s] nearby? Or don't they live with You? I'm sorry if You wrote it somewhere before, didn't catch it. Kids are purrfect anti-anxiety medicine, if brought up well.

Secondly, does Your physical, and psychical state allow You to go outdoors to the society, to some bars and places? [mine doesn't, that's why I ask],

I'll stay by these questions and wait for Your replies,

regards

Bryan

P.S.: I've just read Your profile. So You have a son. How is he helping up with Your situations? Or are You trying to keep them away from him? Are You always with him, or do You share him with Your ex?

[Im-Suffering]

Hi everyone. I am having a very bad weekend. Besides a bad experience with new meds, please see my post in Medicine, my computer just died on me. I have a macbook and it just froze and now it cannot find its own disk drive to reinstall or load my backup. Since I use it a lot for chat which I was until it crashed when I am stressed and
/or having panic attacks. I'm using my phone which requires more patience.... I am super stressed and feel anothet episode creeping in. I just need some TLC and something to get my mind off stuff. I tried s nice bath but that did not help either. Thanks for your help and concern.

Forgive me, if you wish to know more about who I am, read my posts. With that said, go into more detail about you, if you want help. All that is going on in your life - has nothing to do with medicine, computer issues, the weather, a hex, fate, so forth. Its in the chest - and it's unresolved.

In a very real sense, Get to the 'heart' of your matter, time to open it again. What was the catalyst for you to try and turn from the physical to spiritual? Causing you to seek metaphysical answers. Tell me more about your life, and your spouse, and child. Tell me how you are dealing with these issues. Tell yourself.

Short personal reading begins:

You are not quite 'all in'. And your son requires you to be, shall we say, fully alive, in the here and now. Only for you that 'now' contains the pain, hurt, and health concerns, so you pull away, to a degree. Now this leads to some degree of self condemnation, guilt, anger at anxiety when indeed anxiety is not the cause, but the response to these emotions.

You blame your character for the way certain things in life turned out. Focusing for the most part on the so called deficits in character rather than the many beneficial innate qualities in you. By that limited focus, you take blame and guilt as part of the truth about you. Now guilt will eat you up alive you see, so you fall to spirituality as an escape rather than a tool. Not religion, but metaphysical spirituality. The physical illusion of daily life has you captive in a very real sense. Some of the responsibilities daunting considering the self created esteem and self worth issues.

Your challenges are your gifts, in disguise... The answers to your anxiety are in your conscious beliefs, the self suggestions, the thoughts throughout the day. Changing a conscious belief, once recognized, has a trickle effect across the board into what you call the subconscious. So you do not have to go there for answers. Beliefs are bridged. Another words, instead of running from...thoughts...look at them, let the fear speak. The fear is a child, you, muted, and/or forgotten.

Where has your heart gone? Indeed transplants are not only physical. Your son, your inner child, your joy depend on the hearts condition, and I do not mean physical.

That is enough for now. I'm telling you to stop diverting, skirting the issues, burying the pain, for the body is your most intimate tool for expression. The body is thought in action. At any given time, the body is a living system of beliefs, period. What the mental or psychological suppresses the body reflects. It cannot lie, however it expresses the lies you feed it.

Given with love, you are loved, you are a grand soul. Listen, no need to learn to love self, for self is inherently lovable, do you understand? Instead picture being loved and supported, constructive use of the imagination is critical to healing.

More another time if needed.

[Steven Miller]

I don't know if you consider yourself a smart person or not, but you should have realized that computers and technology sometimes break, and you should have a back-up plan. Then you would not be feeling anxious. Or perhaps a part of you doesn't want to be dependent on computers, so you ignored the whole thing. Either way you didn't deal with the issue beforehand and now you have been caught unprepared.

My own father is relatively old and he is going to die soon. He will crash. I have realized that I need to start planning for this. I might not be able to have a back-up father, but I have begun to make plans for how I can live a fulfilling life without him here. For example, I am now paying more attention to the things he likes. When he passes, I am looking forward to encountering those things and being reminded of him. It will fill me with sorrow, but also joy, and I am looking forward to those moments, no matter how painful they may be.

It's a strange thing to look forward to something bad happening. But if we don't see opportunity in loss, we will never experience joy in sorrow.

Of course you can't plan for everything. Really it is normal to not have planned for your computer crashing. But evidently you don't believe you have the capacity to deal with these kinds of things when they unexpectedly go wrong. The best way to develop that is to begin planning for the things you care about. When those things go wrong, and you have a plan, you can deal with it. Then you will know you can cope with loss, and when something bad happens that you didn't plan for, you will have enough confidence in yourself that you will be able to start solving the unexpected problem. And solving problems is something we all enjoy.

[Dahila]

At least you are left with the phone. Right now the laptops or ever desktops are so cheap. I have desktop but looking for Ipad to have the back up something, and Darkavenger thank you for the post. So lenovo is good? I was wondering about it. It probably would take my man of my computer:)

[Enduronman]

Sorry to hear about your struggles and stresses friend.
We all deal with some sort of issue daily I'm sure, just in one other form or capacity than what another deals with.
I had some computer issues that started back in 2012 and for some odd reason, I realized that I knew how to fix them too.
I began (somehow) by fixing the problems that I had with the only one we had, then started asking around for other broken computers from family and friends.
I ended up with 5 working computers that were initially useless to their owners.
It's amazing what your mind can do if you make the effort and apply it to some sort of resolve to correct a problem.
I don't know anything about Macs however as that is the computer of choice for my gf..I wish I could help in that regard.
As Dahl mentioned, laptops are generally pretty cheap now so maybe that's an option for you.
Let's just hope that today is a better day!

Enduronman :)

[darkavenger]

Dahila - they are "good" as "good". Yoga, Yoga 2, Yoga 2 Pro, Helix, and X1 are totally bad machines, suffer from many engineering flaws, like bad pixel clock, ghosting, bad color rendering, and many more.

Miix 2 11 seems like "idiotproof" device. It has nothing that could go wrong, low level [low TDP] processor, low voltage rams, and solid state drives, not some great brand like Intel, or Crucial, but ones that'll do the trick [not sure whether LiteOn, or Samsung OEM SSD drives, one of those two].

Sorry for the OT :)

[Dahila]

thank you Darkavenger.
Eman said it all, and pretty darn good:)) If you can get something cheap so you can switch in case of frost covering your ipad. I do not like apple products too. I had seen decent notebooks for like 300 dollars, it is good as back up machine. I do feel for you. When you have support and someone chat with you and take your mind off the worry, at least for a time being and the friggin comp is frozen, it could drive me crazy. Broken computer causes my blood pressure to spike; BIG TIME

[darkavenger]

Dahila - anytime. Anyway, now I see You're from Poland. You're my northern neighbour :). I've had two very good "virtual" friends for a long time from Poland. One girl and one guy [nickname Shukun]. With the girl we wrote a lot about situation in our countries, and with the guy I played on two Lineage 2 servers :) just FYi.

In general, any "thing" that is a part of our daily ritual routine, when it jumps out, it's a real eye opener and pressure raiser. That's why I try to keep, if finances allow me, all of these "things" backed up, by at least something partly functional, so I won't find myself in a situation, where I cannot continue my "ritual routine" along, because of some missing element.

Some may laugh at this, and I say go on, laugh at it, but a ritual routine for people with GAD is a question of life saving vs. life threatening situation in many, more than it should be, cases.

[Dahila]

I agree completely Darkavenger, I get so paranoic, when something is threatening. I am on my own, my son is in different city and he is the geek the computer geek :) He build my machine, and I am considering to have another one, even this one is excellent computer with awesome graphic card and intel i5. I would be nice to have two desktops in house. I am not fun of laptops or tablets. I am trying to back up everything too, sometimes there is not time. I have so many projects to do at the same time. :)
I like to talk politics too:)

[darkavenger]

Dahila - these "things" and rituals tend to, and should form helping crutches for our lives, but not the barriers nor chains - in both physical, either psychical way.

If I may ask, You're genuinely from Poland, and now You live in CA? Correct?

[Dahila]

yeah Ontario beautiful Province:)) I left Poland 25 years ago, I had live in Spain for two years. Then came to Canada, my home:)