I miss my medication

[Lilac]

Yes I do. I have had GAD most of my life, but was recently "diagnosed" with a severe health anxiety as well, four months ago. The summer has been like hell on earth. I have never ever experienced panic attacks like the ones I have had lately. It has been awful - the feeling of not being present, all the physical symptoms, and especially the intense need of getting away. I try to escape my attacks by physically running out of my apartment yelling and screaming. It's embarrassing really, but these kinds of attacks are relatively new to me and I have not been able to tackle them differently.

My doctor prescribed me medication for it (Sobril 10 mg, perhaps only available in Norway?). These pills are very strong, and have almost an immediate effect on your body, but do not last for more than a few hours or so. When I take them I can feel my muscles calming down, and I become more sensitive to bright light and colours. But best of all, I become completely indifferent to e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. I just don't care, and during those hours I don't have a single worry in my life. I am there, but not present. I also become incredibly sleepy. Being a person who is constantly worried about something, being school, family, friends, boyfriend, job, now my health, money, or just my very existence and everyday life, it is amazing how these pills can just shut down my brain. My brain is never on break. I have been analyzing everything day in and day out since I was a little girl - I constantly overanalyze, and do not believe in simple answers. I wake up with questions, worries and anxiety, and I take them to bed. My whole life has been like this.

So I love these pills. But I also hate them. They are NOT good for my body, and they do NOT solve the underline causes for my anxiety. The feeling of indifference is probably the worst thing about such medications; You exist, but you don't live, if you understand the difference.

I have been seeing a therapist every other week since December of 2013, and I am working on solving this with cognitive therapy. My primary physician prescribed me Sobril in summer only because I was not going to see my therapist for another two months, due to vacation time. However, he does not believe in such medications, and told me to take them for emergencies ONLY! Mostly because I have a very strong rationality, and with proper help and guidelines will be able to control the anxiety.

I ran out of Sobril several weeks ago. And I am doing okay; I am back in therapy. I am also doing WAY better with regards to my ALS anxiety, thus my fasciculations (muscle twitching) has decreased considerably! I am filling my days with work, friends, and my master thesis. I am also sleeping better and ignoring the twitches when they come.

However, I am still struggling with health anxiety and thoughts and worries about minor things all the time. So I miss my medication, I wish I had them. They took me away from my pain and discomfort - I became addicted. I haven't told my doctor I took them all - I don't dare doing that. And I don't want to lie and say I have lost the pills or something, because I am sure he has heard stupid tricks like that a hundred times before. Besides, I am almost incapable of lying.

I guess it is for the best...

[Enduronman]

I have had an entire life filled with many of the same thoughts and issues but if you can overcome them without medications, then that is admirable.
I have MANY different pills, medications, and they all have a specific purpose or reason to be there..they do provide me with a better quality of life.
I have MANY different ailments, disorders, and also deadly diseases too so they at this point, must remain.
Wishing you better days friend!

Enduronman :)

[NixonRulz]

I don't know what Sobril is

But I must get some to sample. They seem amazing. Can I score some from you? ; )

I know that pills are not the best solution for the long term

But I am a fan of the short term since they help your mind straighten out a bit so you can address the things that can make you well

A calm mind is essential to putting together a plan to be finished with this stupid disorder

A fine line can be present if you become dependent on any med. that isn't good either.

I understand that you want to find the underlying cause of your anxiety

But what if there isn't one? What if your mom and dad just passed this blessing on to you and it's genetic?

The debate will rage on if it is genetic, a learned behavior or a bit of both

I'm not smart enough to know but even the docs can't agree

Even if you do get in therapy and you discover the underlying cause and scream "Eureka!!" I know why I got anxiety!! YAHOOOOOO!!!!!!!

You have trained your mind to react certain ways to certain triggers

That won't go away until you retrain your brain to not react to the things that set you off now

And that is always achievable if you make the decision to make it happen

[Lilac]

I don't know what Sobril is

But I must get some to sample. They seem amazing. Can I score some from you? ; )

I know that pills are not the best solution for the long term

But I am a fan of the short term since they help your mind straighten out a bit so you can address the things that can make you well

A calm mind is essential to putting together a plan to be finished with this stupid disorder

A fine line can be present if you become dependent on any med. that isn't good either.

I understand that you want to find the underlying cause of your anxiety

But what if there isn't one? What if your mom and dad just passed this blessing on to you and it's genetic?

The debate will rage on if it is genetic, a learned behavior or a bit of both

I'm not smart enough to know but even the docs can't agree

Even if you do get in therapy and you discover the underlying cause and scream "Eureka!!" I know why I got anxiety!! YAHOOOOOO!!!!!!!

You have trained your mind to react certain ways to certain triggers

That won't go away until you retrain your brain to not react to the things that set you off now

And that is always achievable if you make the decision to make it happen

I agree, but I don't mean that I want to find the exact cause of my anxiety. I know that I will most likely not find the cause. What I mean is that anxiety is in your head and, like you said, you have to train your brain to react differently. And I meant that medications do not SOLVE anxiety or any cause of it. That has to be done in your head.

[NixonRulz]

I agree, but I don't mean that I want to find the exact cause of my anxiety. I know that I will most likely not find the cause. What I mean is that anxiety is in your head and, like you said, you have to train your brain to react differently. And I meant that medications do not SOLVE anxiety or any cause of it. That has to be done in your head.

Perfectly said

You understand this way better than you think

This is a short journey for you

[Anne1221]

Sobril sounds like Xanax over here. It's most likely a benzodiazepine (sp?) from your description. You may want to try an antidepressant . They are much safer than the benzos. Yes, they have side effects and yes, you have to get used to them and find the right dose, but it is SO worth it. My best advice: find the lowest dose that helps you and don't let them give you too high of a dose . Also...see if you can get some Buspar and take it 3 x per day. wow that will quiet things down.

[Anne1221]

Oh, Buspar doesn't work for everyone but it works well for me. Just wanted to clarify that.

[Lilac]

Hi Anne, thanks for your advice. My therapist and primary physician don''t think I should take antidepressants, because I do function quite well; I am taking a masters degree at the university, and I have a job. I have good friends and a boyfriend of seven years. I am also very rational and know I have to "defeat" this through mental training. I can try to talk to them about giving me a low dose, just to try it for a short period. But the thing is that even though I miss medications and want more, I am scared I will become addicted and feel even worse and more desperate if I stop using them. I miss having my Sobril with me, because they release me from my worst panic attacks and then they wear off. And I don't take these regularly. Antidepressant is something you take regularly, isn't it? I have heard many scary stories about antidepressants, more than with medications like Sobril and Xanax, even with a low dosage. Some people become like robots, completely without feelings or opinions. And when they start to reduce the intake, they get this extreme abstinence and feel a lot worse and more depressed.

And yes, Sobril is like Xanax - loaded with benzodiasepines (oxazepam) ;P

[Anne1221]

Yes, you take antidepressants regularly. When you're ready, talk to a doctor and get all the facts. You don't get addicted, but you do have to taper off slow if you go off. You won't find anyone, I don't think, who will tell you they are not safer than the benzos.

[JustaGal]

Oh, Buspar doesn't work for everyone but it works well for me. Just wanted to clarify that.

Hi Anne,

I am seeing a pdoc Thurs. I want to quit Atavan (1 1/2) months. I think I still need a anti anxiety on top of Lexapro, so I was thinking of Buspar. Glad it works for you.