pooldrops5
08-20-2014, 11:37 PM
Hello everyone and thanks for reading in advance. Needing some advice for feelings my body is experiencing which I am not understanding. Hoping this post helps me and that it can help others who feel the same and search for answers.
Main Problems
------------------------
My head is filled with lots of brain fog which continues constantly. It's almost like my head is filled up like a helium balloon. Not dizzy, but so foggy. A little hard to explain, but I'm also having moments of what I describe as disconnection. Almost as if I am watching a movie through my eyes instead of actually being grounded in the moment. Also, my nerves often feel like they have electricity running through them...very edgy. None of this used to happen to me! This has all come from nowhere and does not seem to cease (some days are better than others, of course). I also just started having headaches with some frequency.
About Me
----------------
I am a 27 year old guy. 165lbs and 5'8 height. I am used to being fast paced, upbeat, happy and very busy all the time. Very social and always love life. I come from a background of anxious people. My mother used to have anxiety attacks. Never in my life did I have panic or anxiety myself. Sure, I'd get nervous or fixate on things, but nothing ever manifested into physical anxiety.
The Past 6 Months
------------------------------
I've become somewhat different and am having a very hard time understanding what has happened to me and how I can make myself better. Started having trouble in February. As much as I hate to say it, I was foolish and did a pill of MDMA at a party one night. The whole past year I had also been taking Aderall on a regular basis (doctor prescribed...but I don't truly think I needed it). I also drank a few times a week with friends. I always felt fine up until the MDMA pill. That is when things changed...
Shorly there after I had a panic attack on the road to work. Felt like I was going to pass out, had to pull over...the whole awful thing! Went to four doctors in the span of three months. Had all blood work checked. Had an MRI of the brain....the whole bit. Everything comes back normal with no signs of issues. All of the doctors have tried to put me on various medicines (I think its crazy how quickly they want to write prescriptions).
I tried Lexapro for four weeks, but it made me feel like a zombie. Got off of it with the doctors permission (which was hellish). Took Klonopin as needed for a while, as well. Really helped me sleep! I am so scared to become addicted to anything, so I hardly take anti anxiety meds anymore. Whenever I do take one it has to be at night. Can't take them during the day or I almost can't function at work...makes me sleepy and woozy.
When I do take the anti-anxiety pills, I usually get an annoying headache for the next day or so.
What's Going On In My Life
-----------------------------------
I've just moved to a new city. Apartment shopping, started a new job, working on starting a new business on the side, meeting new people....doing everything to get settled and find my way. I absolutely have a lot of added stress and chaos right now. I'm not UNHAPPY about it though. I actually like being busy and running around very much.
Answers
---------------
I've been to four doctors and every one of them tells me this is anxiety. I tend to want to believe them, but I just keep searching for some other answer. It is so difficult to imagine that this is what life has become and that I am tasked with living this way for the remainder of life.
Sometime I wonder if perhaps I'm having a hormonal imbalance. Thoughts? Other times I think that perhaps I have some type of neuro imbalance going on. Can something like that be treated/fixed?
I am willing to do what I need to do to fix this. I want to be normal again. I feel like I've done myself in and have a lot of guilt internally. I am terrified of medicines that alter the mind. The thought of going through trial and error on any anti-depressants or hormones makes me so scared. A family member of mine had an awful medicine induced imbalance that put her in the hospital. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?
Really appreciate the help and advice. I am positive and am certain things will improve. Just looking for answers and hoping someone out there may understand what I'm experiencing. Thanks a million.
Main Problems
------------------------
My head is filled with lots of brain fog which continues constantly. It's almost like my head is filled up like a helium balloon. Not dizzy, but so foggy. A little hard to explain, but I'm also having moments of what I describe as disconnection. Almost as if I am watching a movie through my eyes instead of actually being grounded in the moment. Also, my nerves often feel like they have electricity running through them...very edgy. None of this used to happen to me! This has all come from nowhere and does not seem to cease (some days are better than others, of course). I also just started having headaches with some frequency.
About Me
----------------
I am a 27 year old guy. 165lbs and 5'8 height. I am used to being fast paced, upbeat, happy and very busy all the time. Very social and always love life. I come from a background of anxious people. My mother used to have anxiety attacks. Never in my life did I have panic or anxiety myself. Sure, I'd get nervous or fixate on things, but nothing ever manifested into physical anxiety.
The Past 6 Months
------------------------------
I've become somewhat different and am having a very hard time understanding what has happened to me and how I can make myself better. Started having trouble in February. As much as I hate to say it, I was foolish and did a pill of MDMA at a party one night. The whole past year I had also been taking Aderall on a regular basis (doctor prescribed...but I don't truly think I needed it). I also drank a few times a week with friends. I always felt fine up until the MDMA pill. That is when things changed...
Shorly there after I had a panic attack on the road to work. Felt like I was going to pass out, had to pull over...the whole awful thing! Went to four doctors in the span of three months. Had all blood work checked. Had an MRI of the brain....the whole bit. Everything comes back normal with no signs of issues. All of the doctors have tried to put me on various medicines (I think its crazy how quickly they want to write prescriptions).
I tried Lexapro for four weeks, but it made me feel like a zombie. Got off of it with the doctors permission (which was hellish). Took Klonopin as needed for a while, as well. Really helped me sleep! I am so scared to become addicted to anything, so I hardly take anti anxiety meds anymore. Whenever I do take one it has to be at night. Can't take them during the day or I almost can't function at work...makes me sleepy and woozy.
When I do take the anti-anxiety pills, I usually get an annoying headache for the next day or so.
What's Going On In My Life
-----------------------------------
I've just moved to a new city. Apartment shopping, started a new job, working on starting a new business on the side, meeting new people....doing everything to get settled and find my way. I absolutely have a lot of added stress and chaos right now. I'm not UNHAPPY about it though. I actually like being busy and running around very much.
Answers
---------------
I've been to four doctors and every one of them tells me this is anxiety. I tend to want to believe them, but I just keep searching for some other answer. It is so difficult to imagine that this is what life has become and that I am tasked with living this way for the remainder of life.
Sometime I wonder if perhaps I'm having a hormonal imbalance. Thoughts? Other times I think that perhaps I have some type of neuro imbalance going on. Can something like that be treated/fixed?
I am willing to do what I need to do to fix this. I want to be normal again. I feel like I've done myself in and have a lot of guilt internally. I am terrified of medicines that alter the mind. The thought of going through trial and error on any anti-depressants or hormones makes me so scared. A family member of mine had an awful medicine induced imbalance that put her in the hospital. Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?
Really appreciate the help and advice. I am positive and am certain things will improve. Just looking for answers and hoping someone out there may understand what I'm experiencing. Thanks a million.