need a friend

[maddie-_-]

not online, in real life. its not much to do with anxiety but im missing my dad..i dont miss him, he is a dick head but i just..wish i had a dad at least. i need a friend in real life to tell this to, but i dont have one. i either go back to my old school or begin a new one soon. how should i make a friend who will listen, not mock?

[Xerosnake90]

Find someone whom is like minded. We flock to those that share our traits and this when we find ourselves in another we form connections. Where do you find friends? School is great, work. Online is even easier though not being around them can be tough. You must show a person you are reliable and want to be in their life to keep them there. Just start talking to people :)

You can do it!

[Riley20]

You won't find a friend who you can spill all of your secrets and worries to immediately, a bond like that takes a time to build up as you'll need to feel as though you can trust them. Just try not to force it and follow Xerosnake's advice - start talking to people and if you're likeminded with someone and you have similar traits or interests you'll soon bond with them and over time you'll be able to talk to them but unfortunately you can't force a relationship with someone, you need to be able to trust that they won't mock you and they'll be able to listen and advise you.

Good luck!

[Kuma]

I think the best way to have a friend is to be a friend. When you meet people with whom you appear to have some things in common, think about how you can be helpful and supportive to them, what you can do for them, how you can enrich their lives. If you are a good friend to someone else, it is more likely to be reciprocated. If your perspective is more focused on what someone else can do for you, then it can be more challenging. As others have pointed out, good friendships don't tend to happen overnight. They take time and effort. But being focused on "being a friend" can help.

"Getting out there" also helps. You don't make friends by sitting around by yourself. It is more likely if you attend events, join organizations, volunteer your time in group settings, attend religious programs if that interests you, join a sports team, etc. In other words, put yourself in a position where you will frequently come into contact with people with whom you have common interests, values, etc.

[maddie-_-]

thanks guys:) ill take the advice, but i guess friendships happen wierdly? my old best friend, we hated each other. Literally wanted eachother dead, but then 5 years of amazing friendship came. I was a fucking idiot (excuse language) but i was, cant take back words!!

[Exactice]

Hey Maddie! I know exactly what you mean about your best friend. Same thing happened to me! This guy and I was in a power struggle for our group. We wanted to be the "leader" One day we had it out in the back yard of my house. A littler fist fight. After that day we developed an amazing friendship and ended up being the Best Men for each others weddings! Hows that one. A fist fight to best men!

Any ways Maddie, friends can come from anywhere, but the best thing you can do like kuma said, be a friend first and attract those that you want as friends dont go looking for them! They will pop out when you least expect it!

[needtogetwell]

Hey Maddie,

Exactice is so right about friends coming out of unlikely places. In fact a few of my newest and dearest friends I met right here on this forum! Exactice is one of those people I am privileged to call friend!

Be willing to be good to others and things will naturally happen, no effort required!

Cheers my dear, you will be just fine!

[Exactice]

Needto, Super Hug across the Pacific Ocean, I to am pleased to call you a friend!!!

Maddie open your heart and you will find something amazing!

[needtogetwell]

Exactice,

Thanks for the super hug! Needed it. Life has been rough for me for the past few weeks and I thought of you often. I am now pulling myself out of the hole again and life is much brighter. I often thought of you and how you have progressed since you first came here so many months ago. I just wanted to do the same, and I have!

Cheers buddy! Btw- how's your golf game these days?
Pam

Sorry Maddie for hijacking your thread, I just haven't caught up with Exactice for a while.

[Exactice]

Maddie, if we can be a friend let us be! We all want to see each other get better from our struggles! Pam, Ill PM you!!!