Separation anxiety?

[Mairi]

Every time my older sister leaves to go somewhere without me, even if it's only for a while, I get this unstable, nervous feeling that starts when I know she'll be going soon and lasts a little while after she's gone. Then I'm usually fine for the most part. I start thinking "No, I don't want you to go!" because I know my anxiety will get worse once she's gone and I'll be scared without her. I love my big sister. She always makes me feel safe and happy. She always tells me to be brave and mighty and encourages me not to be shy. She can always make me smile. Sometimes I feel like I need her in order to be brave. I know as long as I'm with her I'm safe. Is this separation anxiety? Thanks.

[Xerosnake90]

Hello Mairi

Yes, what you described is seperation anxiety. You believe that without your sister you lose some sort of power that allows you to maintain "normal" levels. Such a connection is powerful, but you've focused it in a less than ideal way. You must learn to accept that you alone are responsible for how you feel and view the world. You love your sister dearly, but you've associated her leaving with a loss of your own willpower.

For you to develop your own "personality" away from your sister will help you greatly. Try to understand how you act around your sister and what changes when she leaves. Feeling alone is always a bummer, do you have friends to interact with when she's not around? And ultimately, this will help you greatly. When your sister is around you need to learn how to appreciate her being by your side. Focus on an appreciative mindset around her, not a dependent one. That way you enjoy her company instead of feeling like you have to have her around. Likewise it will help you develop a sense of independence towards yourself as a person and you will slowly but surely begin to feel comfortable on your own.

If you have any questions or comments please ask and best wishes on your journey :)

[Mairi]

Thank you. :-)