I can't make up my mind about an ex

[Sorrows]

So A bit of a back story I have a general anxiety disorder and atypical depression. My situation is an ex girl friend is still present in my life, very present. we had a backslide a month ago, hanging out and well getting intimate. I broke it off a couple weeks ago BUT we work together. no more than 15-20 feet away. The problem is I love this girl but she loves the chase. before we met she had just gotten out of a 4 year long relationship so now she is just "hanging out" with all these guys. And it's thrown in my face. So I want to be here friend and with that decision I feel happy and uplifted. That is until I see her. I feel empty, my skin feels like it's trying to rip off my bones and then I get home late at night feeling like S***. She insists we stay friends because of our undeniable connection but her idea of staying friends is hugs and joking around at work, sitting really close but at the same time texting all these "friends" and them showing up to 'kindly' bring her lunch and I'm just there to watch. and she seems to either not give a crap or just doesn;t care. and then it's back to the joking and little remarks about "how great I AM. I don't want to be her friend I want more than that from her, which I know is completely off the table. But I pine at the hope. and whn I get even the littlest away from that hope she pulls me back. I can't just cut her off and be a jerk because that's just not who I am. But this jealousy and anxiety over her is killing me and I either can't or don't know what to do. So I can't decide what is right and what I can do.
Any help, advice I would greatly appreciate it.

[Exactice]

Walk away, my honest opinion.

I learned a couple lessons of relationship and jealousy.

1) If its one sided it will never work
2) Jealousy is a root of all evil
3) If your partner is causing jealousy and not trying to make your you comfortable, they dont care about you they care about themselves

Also if its over jealousy on your part and not really them...... I learned a great lesson, instead of being jealous, be proud. This person is with you and will go home with you at the end of the day. Let everyone look cause they cant have them. After a while they will be looking at you and thinking wow you got a good catch.

Before I was the jealous type, it consumed me and drove a stake through my relationship. Now I look at it this way

"Love is like a balloon, Hold on to tight and it will pop, Hold on to loose and it will fly away"

Balance my friend!

[KillAnxiety]

This is just Opinion, Disregard if you don't like.

Don't cut her off but don't bind yourself also at the same time. Just the way she explores the world you to explore, you have gotten freedom but something inside still wants to get into the same loop. In my young days, I had intimate relationship for three years, we fought and broke, I still tried to hang around but she decided to walk away, I got better only after I found more opportunity around me. You know what I mean.

[Sorrows]

I know I need to move on. I know for my health I absolutely need to because I'm driving myself physically sick. And when I begin the process of mentally letting go, preparing myself to move on all she has to do is text me and ask me for a favor like pick her up a drink or food before work and then it's almost impossible for me to say no. I am moving on a bit, I feel like I'm not holding on as tightly but to a point I am. The hope lingers. But I have good news that might help me, at least is should be already. I've noticed that relationships aren't the only thing she is put off by. She was apartment hunting a while ago and she was making quite a fuss about all the places that require a year lease. And now she got a cell phone which took her months to decide what carrier to choose. But then another co worker asked her why she went through all the trouble to buy the phone seperatly rather than just getting it for free with a contract through a carrier. And again she got slightly defensive saying that "then I'd have to sign a two year contract!" I already know that she is not the person I thought she was, I know she's not the person to commit to a relationship. And I've seen things like with the lease and contract things before. So it's logical to me that she's just not ready or ever would be. So logically I should be able to accept that and move on. But why can't I?