The dangerous lens of depression

[Ankhsious]

Hi all,

Imagine your past as a series of lights. Green lights for the joyous experiences, and red lights for the sad experiences.

I have noticed that when depression/anxiety is flaring up in me, that my 'lens' into the past makes all the red lights light up and the green lights are invisible. ie. I get this intuition that I've been depressed my whole life.

I also am concurrently aware that this is a skewed view of the past and that I've had a great, blessed life. And yet, in that moment, I cannot see it.

So frustrating that I can see clearly the problem but can't do much about it!

[Kixxi]

Hi all,

Imagine your past as a series of lights. Green lights for the joyous experiences, and red lights for the sad experiences.

I have noticed that when depression/anxiety is flaring up in me, that my 'lens' into the past makes all the red lights light up and the green lights are invisible. ie. I get this intuition that I've been depressed my whole life.

I also am concurrently aware that this is a skewed view of the past and that I've had a great, blessed life. And yet, in that moment, I cannot see it.

So frustrating that I can see clearly the problem but can't do much about it!

I think a lot of us feel powerless sometimes. My problem is that I know why I'm anxious, I know how to fight it, but sometimes I just doesn't work. Sometimes I also feel depressed because of it and it's like this hole you have to pick yourself out of. Luckily I have all the people here that will support me when it gets tough. And the same goes for you, we will all be here when you need to vent or just want someone to listen.

[Kuma]

Hey Ank. I have experienced a similar feeling. I feel depressed, and then it seems like everything in the past 15 years or so has been bad. Of course, that is not the case, but I can relate to what you are feeling.

But it seems to me you are doing better than many people because you REALIZE that this is a mis-perception on your part. That will make it easier for you to correct it. Like someone who puts on a strange pair of glasses and says to themselves "all the images are totally fuzzy now -- but that's just because of these strange glasses I am wearing, and when I take the glasses off, the fuzzy perception will disappear."