PDA

View Full Version : Awkward question



Olive Yew
07-28-2014, 12:54 PM
So my anxiety stole my sex drive... Like completely... To the point where I just dont even care anymore. Practically asexual. I didnt used to be like that. I used to be as horny as the next 20 year old girl. I used to be able to use my imagination to turn myself on.. Heck i cant even use my imagination. Like no day dreams, no writing books, nothing. But it's worrying me that my sex drive is like gone because when I start dating again.... I want to be able to know if I'm at least attracted to them in that way.

Anxiety like stole both my imagination and my ability to feel strong emotion... Good or bad. When I'm happy, i dont get SUPER happy anymore. I'm either pleasantly neutral or mildly happy. Then everything else is on the negative end of the spectrum. How do I get it back? How do I get any of it back???

Dahila
07-28-2014, 06:25 PM
Olive that's not good, you need to feel emotions. You blocking it so you do not feel pain. Most people do this is a defense tool. Sex does not go together with anxiety. You need to have a relaxing time to have sex, otherwise even if you have there is not satisfaction in it. It is very important part of life. I think in relationship it is the number one. That's my opinion. Most people will tell you about friendship and bla bla....:) Olive I know you are not on meds, but have you consider maybe some herbal remedies?

JohnC
07-28-2014, 06:32 PM
Hi Olive Yew, I am with you on the part about the happy thing. I can not remember the last time i was truly happy. Well i can but it's been many years ago. Today just as you i am pleasantly neutral or mildly happy.
P.S. love your signature thingy at the bottom :)

Olive Yew
07-28-2014, 07:22 PM
I'm actually to the point where we're going to try meds and therapy. So hopefully that will help. And just to clear the air.... I'm single now... I just know from experience in my last relationship and working with my emotions now that they are not what they should be.

Thank you! I liked it too! I'm sorry you're emotionally dull now too. :( i just hate that for you. I really hope we can both break through this and be free.

AnxiousPsychGrad
07-28-2014, 07:37 PM
Beware that most medicines will make your sex drive disappear as well. I had it happen when I first started taking meds, but it is back to normal now.

Olive Yew
07-28-2014, 08:58 PM
Beware that most medicines will make your sex drive disappear as well. I had it happen when I first started taking meds, but it is back to normal now.

Well i dont have one now so it wont be much different. But whatever I take will be as mild as they come. The fact that I'm taking anything at all is a massive step for me. But i'm NOT doing any of the crazy big name stuff. Like seriously as tame as they come.

NixonRulz
07-30-2014, 07:39 AM
Well i dont have one now so it wont be much different. But whatever I take will be as mild as they come. The fact that I'm taking anything at all is a massive step for me. But i'm NOT doing any of the crazy big name stuff. Like seriously as tame as they come.

It's great that you will try the meds

I think anxiety robs you of so much and whatever you focus on gets worse it seems

Sex drive is a big one. It wouldn't surprise me if you the meds lessened your anxiety enough that your concerns of sex drive would stop

Once it's not on your mind, your mind is free to work as it should

When I took meds, I was terrified I wouldn't be able to perform in the sack

And then it did affect me. It sucked

But once the meds took the anxiety away, I wasn't concerned so it stayed pointing to the north non stop

Awesome that you are trying something to feel better

Anxiety isn't worth the chance of what may be a side effect

If you have a side effect you don't like, try something else.

Dahila
07-30-2014, 08:54 AM
Anxiety is an enemy taking our precious time, we have one life and we should live it to the fullest. Meds will give you the time to make a plan how to fight it, and you will be happier. Meds do not give happiness but when you are calm you are able to feel emotions. Good luck Olive, keep us posted , please

Kixxi
07-30-2014, 09:14 AM
So my anxiety stole my sex drive... Like completely... To the point where I just dont even care anymore. Practically asexual. I didnt used to be like that. I used to be as horny as the next 20 year old girl. I used to be able to use my imagination to turn myself on.. Heck i cant even use my imagination. Like no day dreams, no writing books, nothing. But it's worrying me that my sex drive is like gone because when I start dating again.... I want to be able to know if I'm at least attracted to them in that way.

Anxiety like stole both my imagination and my ability to feel strong emotion... Good or bad. When I'm happy, i dont get SUPER happy anymore. I'm either pleasantly neutral or mildly happy. Then everything else is on the negative end of the spectrum. How do I get it back? How do I get any of it back???

Just a thought here, since I went through something very similar, could it be that:

a: you are feeling so lethargic and drained from your anxiety that sex is the last thing on your mind right now?
b: your self-esteem is down the drain?

These are some common issues that I can think of. Also are you on any meds? Some of them do have this side-effect.

Exactice
07-30-2014, 02:30 PM
Kixxi makes 2 great points, something to look at.....

Meds also kill your sex drive..... The meds Im on are brutal.... I feel for my Wife sometimes.....

I am assuming that due to the anxiety I am pretty drained or worried that sex is the last thing on my mind like many stated above. Get the anxiety under some control or dont associate both together keep it separate so they dont cause a conflict.

Olive Yew
07-30-2014, 02:42 PM
Just a thought here, since I went through something very similar, could it be that: a: you are feeling so lethargic and drained from your anxiety that sex is the last thing on your mind right now? b: your self-esteem is down the drain? These are some common issues that I can think of. Also are you on any meds? Some of them do have this side-effect.

No to both. I'm just uninterested. Like it seems
Boring lol. And no im not on any meds at the moment.

cindy_xox
07-31-2014, 05:45 PM
You know, I've felt like that, too. I'm 21 years old and actually never had a real boyfriend ( yes, yes i'm the V-girl ) .
So I don't know about it , but what I know is, I've been so down and anxious once to the point or not even being turned on by men. I thought I was asexual, and even though I was a lesbian because I wasn't turned on by men anymore ( which I was in the past ). But when i'm in the happiest mood, oh gosh I flirt so much lol.
So don't worry about not being turned on. When we are anxious or worried, the less thing we want is to have sex. If you still do, well, good job! Do you think depressed people think about it ? I don't think so.

Hope it helped you just a little. :)

Cindy

Kixxi
07-31-2014, 05:53 PM
You know, I've felt like that, too. I'm 21 years old and actually never had a real boyfriend ( yes, yes i'm the V-girl ) .
So I don't know about it , but what I know is, I've been so down and anxious once to the point or not even being turned on by men. I though I was asexual, and even though I was a lesbian because I wasn't turned on by men anymore ( which I was in the past ). But when i'm in the happiest mood, oh gosh I flirt so much lol.
So don't worry about not being turned on. When we are anxious or worried, the less thing we want is to have sex. If you still do, well, good job! Do you think depressed people think about it ? I don't think so.

Hope it helped you just a little. :)

Cindy

I agree with cindy on this one :)

cindy_xox
07-31-2014, 07:08 PM
Well thanks Kixxi ! :woot:

By the way, I forgot the ''t'' in thought. I'm not a lesbian lol . Just to make it clear, even though it has nothing to do with this forum.
Hmm well.. bye bye! ^^