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View Full Version : my anxiety returns. Need some help



07-26-2014, 06:09 PM
first of all I would like to thank everybody who is reading this I had of time thank you so much.
I have been fighting anxiety disorder for going on five years. My anxiety is usually centered around my health. It starts with some kind of strange feeling that I fixate on. The very first time I went through it was the worst I had muscle twitches and muscle weakness and of course a visit to Web M.D. was not any help! the first thing that popped up was ALS. Naturally this scared the hell out of me and sent me into a spiral of depression and severe anxiety, which in turn only made my symptoms worse.
eventually medical testing such as EMG eventually pulled me out of the spiral. And I found a therapist to talk to. Occasionally I would have doubts with anxiety and I found a psychiatrist who put me on Lexapro. Lexapro seemed to be working for a time until I had another bout of anxiety. Working at a high stress job was not helping at all either. Eventually I suffered a massive panic attack at work. It was my body's way of telling me it's time to change jobs. It was the worst experience of my life not to mention the most embarrassing.

I found a new job very close to home and my stress level went down dramatically. Around September 2013 I suddenly had another bout with anxiety regarding ALS fears. This time realizing what it was I pulled myself out of it by using a hand grip measuring device and taking readings every day for a couple of weeks. This worked out really well and the fears went away eventually. Not to give myself too much credit but my doctor also put me on Cymbalta to help me. I also started to see a fantastic chiropractor and a massage therapist.

times were good no anxiety everything was going well so well in fact like a fool I stopped taking my medications. I didn't feel any changes I had some withdrawal symptoms but they were not as bad as people would say. I thought I was cured once and for all that I had beaten anxiety forever. Not so.

Fast-forward to a couple of weeks ago. I started to have weakness in my arms and legs again. At first I didn't understand maybe I didn't sleep well. However I suddenly had that rush of panic. I swear I want to cry as I write this. But I was back in my spiral. I immediately started to take my medicine again and start to see my chiropractor and massage therapist again. That is not what is scaring me. My job has turned a little bit more stressful than before. The weakness was becoming a problem. I decided to pull out the grip measurement device again. My left hand had always measured around 55 kg of force +/-5. That has not changed. It is my right arm that is scaring me. My right arm has always been weaker than my left despite the fact I am right-handed. My right hand on a good day measures 53 kg +/-5. restarting the medication has not been without difficulty as it is starting to build up in my body and I am experiencing the wonderful side effects of Cymbalta. However my right arm, I'm lucky if I can break 50 kg. And it just feels like my right arm is getting weaker with every passing day. My left arm is not affected.

I feel like I am under an anxiety attack all the time now. I don't have the rapid heartbeat and rapid breathing of an anxiety attack. It's like that sensation when you walk into a room and you feel like you're being watched it's that rush that starts in your chest and goes down your arms. It is constant.

I was a fool to think that I could ever become normal I will be on these medications the rest of my life and I was a fool to stop.
I am terrified of what is happening with my right arm I don't understand why my right arm feels so weak.

please please please please please somebody help me. I don't know where to turn. I don't know what to do. I know chances are it is not ALS. But I feel like there's a voice in my head that constantly wants to remind me of the fact that it could be. For example today I couldn't break 50 kg on my right hand. However it should be noted that my massage therapist did a deep tissue massage on my arms and legs yesterday. Could that have an effect on my muscle strength?

I guess what I'm looking for is reassurance of people that have gone through the same thing I know I can beat this but my brain seems to be working against me. I'm tired of feeling like this. Please somebody help me I don't know what else to do.

Xerosnake90
07-26-2014, 08:24 PM
Sorry to hear that. It'd be wise for you to start understanding the pattern you're following here. You seem to have anxiety in regards to anxiety and feeling a symptom is what triggers it for you. Anxiety stays with us as long as we have something to fear. If you can start telling yourself you are just feeling anxiety symptoms it will help with your issue.