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View Full Version : 9 things that have worked for me



NoMedsThanks
07-25-2014, 10:13 AM
Hi all,

I just joined today and wanted to list some things here that have helped me calm down. I have by no means beaten my anxiety, but am learning to control it and certainly am not letting it prevent me from doing the things I want to do. Feel free to agree or disagree with any or all of these, but I just hope these can help some people out.

1. Sleep. Honestly nothing works better for me than sleeping. Sometimes I just get too nervous or worried and there are too many symptoms happening for me to calm down. I just lie in bed and force myself to sleep, no matter how uncomfortable I might feel. By the time I wake up I always feel like myself again. I also find that getting enough sleep is just as important (for me, that's close to 10 hours!), as I'm more likely to feel anxious if I haven't slept long enough. On weekends and holidays, I sometimes even grab a nap in the afternoon. It's like a little anxiety reset button that can keep me worry free for the whole day.

2. Get away, even if it's only for a few minutes. I feel like a bit of a failure when I have a make a run to the bathroom or step outside for a bit, but sometimes I just need to be alone and limit stimulation as much as possible in order to get things under control. I find this greatly preferable to simply going home when I start to feel nervous in public. Usually getting some air or sitting alone in the restroom will let me get a hold of myself so that I can keep enjoying time with friends.

3. Have an escape plan. It really freaks me out when I feel like I can't get out of a place if I need to. On a plane or bus, I just have to deal with it, but for other situations I find that there are some little things I can do to reassure myself. At shows or movies I always opt for an aisle seat so I can get out quickly if necessary. It also helps me to have someone around who knows about my anxiety and won't think I'm being rude or awkward if I need to go.

4. Drink tea. Make sure it's the caffeine free kind, as some teas have more than even a cup of coffee (caffeine is a huge trigger for my anxiety). Any herbal tea helps me out, with some being better than others. I have no idea why this seems to help, but it does. I often just keep a water bottle in my office and throw in a teabag or two during the day. I don't like hot drinks that much.

5. Touch. When I get REALLY anxious and nothing else is working, sometimes the only thing that can calm me down is holding my girlfriend's hand. Petting my dog or cat is a close second. Seems cheesy, but it works.

6. Alcohol. I've heard mixed things about this, but a drink or two really calms me down, and fast. I don't recommend making a habit out of it, but there are definitely situations where I think it's very helpful. A party can be a pretty stressful occasion for me at times, and since everyone is drinking anyway, it can make it tolerable and much more enjoyable as I don't have to worry about anything preventing me from enjoying myself. In particular, I always have a drink on flights as it's pretty much the only reliable way for me to get through a bumpy ride.

7. Hobbies. Pretty much anything that requires my concentration will distract me from feeling anxious. This includes sports, video games, crafts, reading, and even sex. Two things that do NOT work for me at all are TV, and music. They just don't require enough of my attention to distract me.

8. Communication. I used to just pretend I was fine and then freak out my girlfriend suddenly when things got out of hand. Eventually, we came up with a system that helps me tell her I'm a little anxious without making a big deal out of it. Whenever I feel a bit off, I just casually tell her "I feel a little weird today". She knows what that means, and I make sure I don't use that phrase for any other situation. Sometimes we use a rating system out of 10 so I can let her know how anxious I am feeling. This is as much for her benefit as it is for mine, but I find that it helps to know that someone has your back.

9. Push yourself. I'm not a thrill seeker and I hate heights. Even so, I still force myself to do things that I'm not entirely comfortable with (like riding roller coasters or taking a dance class), because I know that if I start to use anxiety as an excuse to stay home, I'll stop doing almost everything. I know this because my sister and aunt have done exactly that, and rarely get out much. Every time I do something that makes me nervous and get through it, it gives me more confidence to know that I can probably get through any situation without anxiety getting in the way.

Hope this can be useful to others.

Kuma
07-25-2014, 02:22 PM
This is a good list. It would be interesting to hear what things work for others. Maybe some of the same things you listed. Or some others. Also, your girlfriend sounds pretty cool. I think those of us who deal with anxiety don't realize what a burden it can be for our S.Os. I try REALLY hard not to make my anxiety my wife's problem. But still, I know it has some impact...

kaybeee
07-26-2014, 11:27 AM
This is a really good list. Sometimes, when I'm experiencing anxiety and I'm feeling anti-social, I just sleep and when I wake up I feel more in the mood to do things. Also, having an escape plan. I freak out too when I can't find a way to get out of a building or when I'm in a large crowd and I don't see any openings anywhere. Usually, if I'm outdoors I'm okay, but I'm also a bit claustrophobic so even just being in big crowds freaks me out. Also, I'm short so it makes me feel like I'm even more trapped. For me, what works is making sure I get some kind of exercise every day. Even just walking with my dog or going to a playground for a short amount of time. I also try and make sure I keep myself busy. Doing things around the house, cleaning my room, practicing piano, etc.

p.s. would you have any advice in telling my boyfriend that I have mild anxiety? My anxiety isn't as bad as some others on here, but I have experienced in the past and although I've never had a panic attack, I have been extremely close to having one. Sometimes I just feel like he may not understand what it feels like to have an anxiety episode so he may just brush it off, but sometimes I think he may overreact and ask me to take medication or something...

ss_worrier
07-27-2014, 04:35 AM
Excellent list, all stuff that works well for me too, except for the alcohol, I try to avoid it altogether, even a little bit, because I know chances are it won't do good things to my anxiety. I would add one: turning off my computer and cell phone. I have noticed that I check for social media messages and texts incessantly sometimes because I have this subconscious belief that something will appear that will make me happy and take the anxiety away, or something. I find that turning them off really works. I have now turned off the data traffic on my phone and forbidden myself from going on facebook since I'm having a bad day, and it works in at least taking the edge off of things.

ss_worrier
07-27-2014, 04:37 AM
This is a really good list. Sometimes, when I'm experiencing anxiety and I'm feeling anti-social, I just sleep and when I wake up I feel more in the mood to do things. Also, having an escape plan. I freak out too when I can't find a way to get out of a building or when I'm in a large crowd and I don't see any openings anywhere. Usually, if I'm outdoors I'm okay, but I'm also a bit claustrophobic so even just being in big crowds freaks me out. Also, I'm short so it makes me feel like I'm even more trapped. For me, what works is making sure I get some kind of exercise every day. Even just walking with my dog or going to a playground for a short amount of time. I also try and make sure I keep myself busy. Doing things around the house, cleaning my room, practicing piano, etc.

p.s. would you have any advice in telling my boyfriend that I have mild anxiety? My anxiety isn't as bad as some others on here, but I have experienced in the past and although I've never had a panic attack, I have been extremely close to having one. Sometimes I just feel like he may not understand what it feels like to have an anxiety episode so he may just brush it off, but sometimes I think he may overreact and ask me to take medication or something...

I have always been afraid of telling someone I'm dating about my anxiety, and my fears have never been validated. I have had two types of reactions: either full and complete understanding, or the other person telling me that she suffers from the same thing. I would guess that the vast bulk of people who suffer from anxiety will be drawn to people who at least have had some sort of problem with it, most people have, in a way.

Kixxi
07-27-2014, 06:34 AM
Brilliant list. I notice that most of the stuff works for me to, except for the alcohol. I feel more out of control with it so it has an adverse effect on me.
Also trying to convince myself that a situation is not dangerous tends to help. Does anyone have any advice when you are in a situation that is so far from home it would take you an hour to get back, for example by tram or bus?

NoMedsThanks
07-27-2014, 07:25 PM
Brilliant list. I notice that most of the stuff works for me to, except for the alcohol. I feel more out of control with it so it has an adverse effect on me.
Also trying to convince myself that a situation is not dangerous tends to help. Does anyone have any advice when you are in a situation that is so far from home it would take you an hour to get back, for example by tram or bus?

I'm almost always far away from home (I'm Canadian, but living in Japan, and I regularly travel to sketchy underdeveloped countries where there is really no medical support at all) so I can relate to your concerns. Two things make me feel a lot better while traveling. One is knowing that although the anxiety can be really scary, it's not actually going to hurt me and I don't need to be near a hospital or anything. Another is keeping at least some form of control while I travel. I will always take a taxi or a subway over a bus, as I feel I can easily get off whenever I want and it only really affects me. I don't find train travel to be a big deal for some reason, mostly just beacuse it's easy to get up and walk around, go to the bathroom, etc. Airplanes are still the hardest, but I've flown enough to know that it's doable.

NoMedsThanks
07-27-2014, 07:31 PM
p.s. would you have any advice in telling my boyfriend that I have mild anxiety? My anxiety isn't as bad as some others on here, but I have experienced in the past and although I've never had a panic attack, I have been extremely close to having one. Sometimes I just feel like he may not understand what it feels like to have an anxiety episode so he may just brush it off, but sometimes I think he may overreact and ask me to take medication or something...

This is tough as I have been with my gf for almost 4 years now and I've only had anxiety symptoms for less than 2. She's been with me the whole way and has seen me at my worst. I think it's one thing to know that someone has a problem, but quite another to experience it with them and see what it can do to them. It's hard not to take it seriously, and if the other person really cares about you, they should want to support you regardless or your health. Also, my girlfriend has developed depression in the last few years so we're dealing with our problems together.

I agree with what someone else said as well. The more you tell people about your anxiety, the more you will discover that a literal TON of people have mental health problems but are just scared to talk about it. It seems like such a taboo topic to speak of for some reason. Could be because it makes people feel weak and helpless (that's how I feel about it anyway). I have run marathons and climbed mountains and I think I'm extremely mentally tough, so it was especially difficult for me to accept that I had anxiety and couldn't really control it.

grcboy77
07-28-2014, 02:04 AM
Yes don't ever feel alienated or "weird" about anxiety. Millions upon millions have it. And those are just the ones who came out and said they did. Many more than that.

Irish Sammie
07-28-2014, 08:06 AM
Hey NoMedsThanks,

They're all great points, bar two that might need a reconsider. The "Have an escape plan" and "Alcohol".

From all of my reading on this subject, having a place to go to is something that will in the end, lengthen the time it takes to recover. What I mean by that, is that if you're planning such things, you haven't "Accepted" your condition, which is one step that is vital for recovery. Of course someone in our state would love to know they have a way out, but often times that option isn't available to us (On an airplane, long haul bus journeys, on the train etc). If you're used to organizing an escape plan, and when you're in a situation that doesn't allow for one, that in itself is going to cause even more anxiety than if you never had planned them in the past, you know what I mean? Accepting your condition, is going with the flow and going through the motions of what happens when you think you're going to have an attack. You're teaching your body over time, that there is nothing to be afraid of, but if you keep running to a location where you think you'll feel better, all you're doing is providing your mind with a false sense of security.

The other week, I went to a shopping center (mall) and as I was entering it I started to get that overwhelming feeling and I just stood still. I thought to myself "Ok, I need to turn around now and go back the way I came". I didn't. I just thought about what was happening and looked around me. I took a deep breath and walked on even though I was feeling like ****. After about 5 minutes my body started to adjust to the surroundings and I felt really proud of myself that I didn't run off and that I confronted it. That gave me a little confidence booster for the rest of the day which made me more courageous to be more bold and go further out of my comfort zone. I know not everyone has very strong will power and they'll be too scared to face it, and that's ok! It's something you need to do gradually and I'm fighting it everyday, but I'm starting to notice some changes already.

Regarding the Alcohol, as a general rule you should completely avoid it. There are many reason for this such as, your heart rate can become elevated as a result of consuming alcohol which can cause a palpitation false alarm and put you into a state of anxious anticipation. A drop in blood sugar which will occur from the alcohol, can cause dizziness, confusion, weakness, nervousness, shaking and numbness. It can also affect our mood because it can affect the level of Serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a feel good brain chemical that when in short supply can cause feelings of anxiety and depression. Our bodies are already in a highly sensitized state so anything that disrupts the already rocky balance within it, can only be detrimental. I assume you just mean having a small little drink, which overall isn't too bad, but one drink can lead to another, which can lead to another etc. When I first started feeling my symptoms, I tried to defuse them with alcohol, which whilst taking it I did feel better, but the next day my anxiety was double, if not triple as potent as the previous days.

It's just something to think about and I've not touched drink now in nearly 5 months. I'm glad these things are working for you and those other points are very important. I drink a lot of herbal teas myself, at least 3 or 4 cups daily! Keeping hydrated whilst benefiting from the herbal content. A point about them, try to get a good , decent organic brand. The cheap herbal teas are too processed and won't provide much in the ways of nutrients.

Keep it up! :)

cindy_xox
07-29-2014, 01:25 PM
I honestly agree with ''Sleep''. For me, to lay down in bed under the covers gives me a comforting feeling. And after a good night sleep I always feel refreshed.