T.UK
07-19-2014, 08:35 AM
Hello guys, my first post! it could be quite a long one so bare with me.
Im 24 years old, live in the southern region of the UK. I studied graphic design at University and it was a uni party which started my battle with anxiety. To cut a long story short I was threatened for refusing to take drugs, when i got home i couldn't stop thinking about the threat and what my happen to me if the dealers were caught, I thought it would root back to me and they would come after me. (god that sounds so stupid now)
It might sound silly but i soon built this threat up into a massive thing and for a few weeks became very negative/anxious. This whole 'anxiety' experience kicked off a new, negative, way of thinking for me and started to look back throughout my life and pick up on things on where i had gone wrong or made mistakes, and just like the threat before i was twisting these mistakes into MASSIVE things and started to tell myself i was a terrible person for making such mistakes. I built these thoughts up into my head and really really struggled to tell people about them (because i thought they might think i'm a terrible person) Even though i have done so much good throughout my life i'd tell myself that the good doesn't matter and only focus on the bad. Along with the ruminating, negative thoughts and regret another side of anxiety hit me! - Uncontrollable, intrusive and COMPLETELY irrational thoughts! these thoughts can literally be anything! more often than not they are disturbing thoughts... which again I cant tell people about because they will think i'm an awful person. I now worry about getting these HORRIBLE thoughts... which obviously makes them come even stronger!
when i first started suffering it was completely new to me and it was rather scary. especially when i was thinking that there is no way out of this but suicide. i was on citalopram, looking back at this i think it did help because when i came off the tablets i managed to go a year without serious anxiety and life was very manageable, however! i have now met a girl (who i really really like) and i think the emotional part of meeting someone has kicked off the anxiety again. I feel like if I tell her about my regrets/intrusive thoughts she will run a mile and i cant get the regrets and intrusive thoughts gone!
reading back through this it looks like i value other peoples interpretation of me more than my own :/
I am currently on no medication, i've changed my diet to help the anxiety and i'm still doing the hobbies which i love. god it feels so much better to get this out! wow. has anybody had any similar experiences of anxiety?
thank you!
Im 24 years old, live in the southern region of the UK. I studied graphic design at University and it was a uni party which started my battle with anxiety. To cut a long story short I was threatened for refusing to take drugs, when i got home i couldn't stop thinking about the threat and what my happen to me if the dealers were caught, I thought it would root back to me and they would come after me. (god that sounds so stupid now)
It might sound silly but i soon built this threat up into a massive thing and for a few weeks became very negative/anxious. This whole 'anxiety' experience kicked off a new, negative, way of thinking for me and started to look back throughout my life and pick up on things on where i had gone wrong or made mistakes, and just like the threat before i was twisting these mistakes into MASSIVE things and started to tell myself i was a terrible person for making such mistakes. I built these thoughts up into my head and really really struggled to tell people about them (because i thought they might think i'm a terrible person) Even though i have done so much good throughout my life i'd tell myself that the good doesn't matter and only focus on the bad. Along with the ruminating, negative thoughts and regret another side of anxiety hit me! - Uncontrollable, intrusive and COMPLETELY irrational thoughts! these thoughts can literally be anything! more often than not they are disturbing thoughts... which again I cant tell people about because they will think i'm an awful person. I now worry about getting these HORRIBLE thoughts... which obviously makes them come even stronger!
when i first started suffering it was completely new to me and it was rather scary. especially when i was thinking that there is no way out of this but suicide. i was on citalopram, looking back at this i think it did help because when i came off the tablets i managed to go a year without serious anxiety and life was very manageable, however! i have now met a girl (who i really really like) and i think the emotional part of meeting someone has kicked off the anxiety again. I feel like if I tell her about my regrets/intrusive thoughts she will run a mile and i cant get the regrets and intrusive thoughts gone!
reading back through this it looks like i value other peoples interpretation of me more than my own :/
I am currently on no medication, i've changed my diet to help the anxiety and i'm still doing the hobbies which i love. god it feels so much better to get this out! wow. has anybody had any similar experiences of anxiety?
thank you!