The man with the world's worst anxiety disorder

[nobot87]

It started out as panic attacks while driving 5 months ago, now I am constantly anxious wherever I go. I tried taking Zoloft and Xanax (for 3 days) and I ended up with horrible side effects so I stopped immediately. 2 weeks later I am still suffering hard with anxiety. It is nonstop. My heart rate is always around 110 because my body cannot stop being anxious all the time. I worry that something is wrong with my heart. I can't stop checking my heart rate. I always have chest pains. There is rarely ever a minute of the day that I dont have chest pains. Leaving the house is frightening as hell for me. I quit my job. I'm so depressed and in pain. I just feel so hopeless that I will never get better. I don't ever want to take meds again because most of them just make me feel worse. My anxiety is getting worse in every way. I don't know what to do. I can't handle this. Last week sucked.. this week sucked harder, I just can't help but think I wont make it much longer with whatever is going on with me. I'm tired of anxiety.. I've been dealing with it for too long. I feel like I need to go to the ER, but I've already gone like 8 times this month. I constantly worry and fear for my life. Is it possible that just taking Zoloft and Xanax for a 3 times can permanently damage someone?? I dont know what to do with myself...

[JLK]

The way you titled this says a lot. I know how you feel, because I've been there too. My anxiety and panic exploded, was constant, I'd quit my job and hardly went anywhere. The thing that helped me most at that time was some tough love from my dad. He would tell me to get up, eat something, get in the car. Get angry about it. Fight. YOu don't want to live this way, right? So decide to fight. That's step one.

Step two is gathering up all the tools you can. Read about anxiety (I recommend anything by Claire Weekes) Go back to the doctor, see if you can find a therapist, come to forums like this where you can share and find advice. If you can't "go" anywhere, at least go sit outside, listen to the birds and the traffic. You'll feel less alone.

Zoloft and Xanax cannot have lasting effects. Xanax only lasts for eight hours or so and Zoloft depends on how long you were taking it.

Best wishes. Everyone thinks they are "the worst." Be strong.

[Anne1221]

Clearly you've got some really bad anxiety, so I think you need medication to feel better. They have side effects, like they may make you feel tired so sleepy but they shouldn't hurt you. The benefits way outweigh the risks. The Zoloft takes 6-8 weeks to take full effect but after that you'll start to see you're in a better mood, you're not as anxious, etc . Your whole outlook will change. The xanax is the keep you calm when you feel anxious. Don't be afraid of these medications. NONE of us want to take them, but the alternative is so awful, it's well worth it to take them and feel much better.

[JohnC]

Hi nobot87,
First, are you currently seeing a doctor for your anxiety issues, Second anxiety is a vicious circle that your mind will keep it fueled if you let it. I went to the ER twice, heart cath, stress test the whole deal. I have never heard of Xanax effecting anyone in the way you have described and for the Zoloft i have never taken it so i can not tell you about that but i do know that it takes weeks for these kinds of meds to even start to kick in.

[JLK]

Nobot, is 87 your birth year? If so, i think we're the same age. Just want you to know you're not alone in this.

[Irish Sammie]

Hey Nobot, welcome!

I understand where you are coming from as you were describing me there! It's funny, the amount of stories I read about people who experience what we do, tend to mention very similar things that many of us have all done. That would make a good sticky thread actually "The things we irrationally think & do". Or something to that effect. Anyway, sorry, back on track!...

Things get better. When my anxiety started to build and build over how many weeks, I found myself bewildered and confused over what was going wrong. For about 2 months I thought the worst, thinking the same like many people that I had a tumour, or cancer, or something dreadfully wrong with me. I had the blood tests, urine tests, glucose tests..all came back fine. That only spurred me on further to investigate and research (very important, this'll calm your often racing mind when it's at its worst) everything I could about anxiety and its disorders. Like you, I checked my pulse when I was out about 10 times a day, I was scared to go into crowded areas (And I still am) but I'm forcing myself to go out of my comfort zone more and more and this is another vital step. I know WHY this has happened to me and I'm trying to work on this everyday. I know it'll be a long road ahead of me, but I can see improvements already.

I don't have chest pains anymore, I don't check my pulse and I know how to control panic attacks before they get bad. (If you can manage a panic attack on a long haul bus journey with nowhere to run to, you can control them anywhere- that was NOT fun). I'm not out of the woods yet by a long shot but I know that it is manageable.

"Recovery lies in 'Facing - Accepting - Floating - Letting time Pass" "Float through it, don't Fight it" was said by the late Dr.Claire Weekes. PLEASE, buy her self-help books, she has helped me hugely and she'll help you too. Part of recovery is having the correct knowledge to put into practice in every day scenarios. You can't fix this by convincing yourself you're ok. When you know what tools to put into play, it makes the recovery more bareable and gives you more confidence in being able to eventually rid this.

@JLK: Read her books too hmm? She's amazing. I wish she was alive today.