I need support.

[Dorriekeepson23]

I am living a lie..and need to leave my husband, or roommate rather. Everyone i personally know tell me I'm crazy for not leaving yet. But my 7 yr old freaks when he hears the word divorce. I don't understand why they can't see that it kills me to see him hurt. I know what that feels like. But over five years of seriously nothing from him...is driving me crazy. I'm only in my early 40's. I don't want to have to settle for this. I don't want to hurt my children either. I need support. ..bad.

[Dahila]

I do not know what to say dear........... Be strong, be consistent and try to talk to the little one. I had the same situation then my children not so grown up ask me to divorce their father. I thought I am doing good staying with him, for them...it did not good, rather the opposite

[petrified]

Hi dorrie

I'm really sorry you are going through this. That's great advice from dahlia.
But I would also perhaps suggest doing things in baby steps.
Is your husband aware of you feelings?
If so plan a little holiday away even if it is only staying with family somewhere, just you and your children and gradually start to build the separation. Don't mention the word divorce use words like break and separation.
I no this is going to be hard dorrie but you need to be happy I'm positive your children will gain happiness from yours.
We are all here supporting you no matter what you decide and we will never judge you.


Hannah
.

[Dahila]

Yes baby steps that for sure, thank you Hannah ;) Nice to see you:)

[petrified]

You too :-)

[Dorriekeepson23]

Many thanks and much love to you. Yes,, I've been more than extremely blunt how his rejection is killing me. When he turned 50. I begged him to go to the Dr. Never would do it. When he turned 50, he turned 90!!! No matter what I said. .like telling him millions of times.."YOU'RE NOT OLD. YOU HAVE MAY YRS LEFT. PLEASE GET HELP" NOTHING HAS EVER WORKED. HE DOESN'T CARE...I never swear on here, but getting angry, and calling me everything from a whore to a psychotic bitch, isn't right. Not at all. Dee Dee, you are right, I wished my mom would have left my dad instead of allowing abuse. Bless you, Hannah!! You are both awesome to me.

[Dorriekeepson23]

I have already made my decision. ..just planning

[petrified]

Ah dorrie it doesn't seem like a nice environment for you or your children.
But whatever you decide we are here :-)

[Eeeeeek!]

Here is support for you. I did it. I was in your situation and left. It was hard. It is still hard. But in your heart you will find strength once you leave as you will be living a real life again. I have a son, similar in age to your child. He has got over the stage of wishing for his parents to be together. That is just a stage and is understandable. I always say my sons relationship with his Dad is independent of his relationship with me. Because it is a parental relationship I support and facilitate it but it is independent of me. We have shared care. I am able to be a better Mum now I am not living a lie. My life is an 'example' to my son, and what he was learning through being brought up in the family dynamic was a disservice to him. My husband has fought me all the way, at least now it is not steulth warfare from within a marriage, I am freer from him now. I have a future and am living. Supportive friends said to me, if you are planning on getting out do it while you are young enough to rebuild your life. I hope that helps. I wish you well and here is a big friendly virtual hug too

[chrisdunn3]

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