In need of support

[Brans0605]

Hi all! I tried to post a thread on another forum but I'm not sure that one went through.

I'm 26 years old and things look pretty good in life right now, but I feel as if everything is terribly wrong. I recently found out that my psychiatrist diagnosed me with OCD, PMDD, Depressive Disorder, and GAD.

Since October I have been taking Lexapro (generic version) 10mg and clonazepam .5 mg (when needed) and it was helping at first. I fought through all of the side effects and the thoughts of giving up on meds because I thought Lexapro wasn't working.

I can't say everything took a turn for the better, because I never had that "light bulb" moment or even felt near close to how I use to feel. I have felt zombified, dazed, and numb. I'm now starting, 9 months after starting Lexapro, to feel like I'm having a heart attack again. I can't sleep and am severely fatigued most days. I have no energy and feel lost. I'm experiencing memory problems (severe), lack of concentration (moderate) and nervousness (severe). I have maybe one week of "good" days (it my terms, good days are days where I don't feel panicky from the moment I wake up) in the entire month.

I'm looking for support and unbiased ears. I try to talk to my family but their advice is I can pull through this. I need more than that. I can hardly speak to anyone about whats going on with me. My psychiatrist won't speak to me about anything, just prescribes the meds and my therapist only every talks to me regarding her failing marriage and makes me feel stupid and like a reject when I try to talk to her or interrupt her spill about herself to talk about my many anxiety disorders.

Please help :-(

[Kixxi]

Hi Brans,

Given your conditions it is not uncommon for you to not have your "light-bulb" moment yet. I was diagnosed with multiple anxiety disorders and it took me quite a bit of time to get my revelation. The symptoms you described are nearly all the same to what I had. I couldn't focus, was always anxious, my heart was pounding so bad I couldn't sleep any more etc. I started taking medication but I did not receive the proper help I needed, so I ended up with 6 years of anxiety. Then I started treating my disorders from different aspects and with different types of therapy. I also suffered from a mild depression because my anxiety got so bad I got isolated and didn't leave my house any more. Now I am happy to say I am recovering and making loads of progress... Dare I even say that I can now cope with my symptoms and avoid a very uncomfortable panic attack in places I use to fear. My depression has also subsided. Coping with my problems in different areas has really helped me.

These are some of the things I needed to do to get a hold of what was happening to me:

- Daily breathing exercises
- Muscle tension exercises
- Keeping an anxiety log and compare it with an anxiety scale
- Physical exercises like yoga, circuit training. This would elevate my heart rate, practice my breathing, etc. That way I was less afraid of these symptoms.
- Work on my self-esteem and self-image with daily exercises and positive self-talk. This was the hardest for me, because my self-esteem was non existent.
- Assertiveness
- Exposure (note: only do this with a safe person or under supervision, also you need to be somewhat comfortable and apply your new learned skills when you do this).
- Medication

These are some of the things I did. Some of them seem scary or even annoying to do, but if you do not treat your disorder from different aspects the chance of recovery will reduce. Trust me, I tried with only medication for 6 years and that did not take away the root of the problem.

[Brans0605]

Hi Kixxi! Thanks for the advice. I will definitely be trying some of those techniques.

My biggest problem is memory issues. I can NEVER remember falling asleep and upon waking I feel like I'm in another world for the first 15 seconds. I can't remember driving to and from work and it feels as if conversations I had yesterday happened months ago and I can only recall some of it.

Another biggie is that I break out into hot flashes at the most random times.

I'm absolutely an over thinker but I can't be over thinking most of these things, right?

[Kixxi]

Hi Kixxi! Thanks for the advice. I will definitely be trying some of those techniques.

My biggest problem is memory issues. I can NEVER remember falling asleep and upon waking I feel like I'm in another world for the first 15 seconds. I can't remember driving to and from work and it feels as if conversations I had yesterday happened months ago and I can only recall some of it.

Another biggie is that I break out into hot flashes at the most random times.

I'm absolutely an over thinker but I can't be over thinking most of these things, right?

Hi Brans,

You'd be surprised how many of these symptoms, if not all, are caused by an anxious body/mind. I had something similar, where I would wake up in the middle of REM sleep and feel so disorientated and like I was detached from my body for a while. It was all due to anxiety though. Now I don't have any symptoms any more during sleep or just after. I am currently on Sertraline 100mg and that has improved my sleep. The rest of my anxiety issues I have to deal with on my own of course :)