Somone help, I want out.

[maddie-_-]

Too many issues. I cant deal with this. My phobia of throwing up is out of control and my family keeps pushing me to do things im not ready to do. Today alone I had 3 panic attacks. I am always anxious, Im petrified of heights. Im afraid of sleep, yes, sleep. Terrified of it. Havent slept well if at all in months.
I have to go on holiday soon and my anxiety will be awful and my cuts will show.
Im so shameful about being suicidal a while ago, I hate that my parents know, I have messed things up in my family so much.
I'm jelous of everyone I know. Even if they are worse off, im jelous of their body, age, height, weight, name, personality, life, family, what ever you can think of about a person I will be jelous of. And big time. Like its almost paralysing.
I have panic attacks for no real reason too. Just random ones. ffs.
IM 13 I CANT KEEP DEALING WITH IT ALL!
I am out of school and missing lots of GCSE work, and im so stressed about that. I literally do nothing all day. I wake up at like 11 and just mope around all day like skype a few people and text people and go back to bed. I dont get dressed half the time. Infact, I have a panic at the thought of leaving my house.
I miss the old me..
Also my mum is disabled and her condition is getting worse, it worrys me so much. I cant do this without her, infact I just started crying at the thought of this.
I want OUT!

[Mr.Andrew]

Too many issues. I cant deal with this. My phobia of throwing up is out of control and my family keeps pushing me to do things im not ready to do. Today alone I had 3 panic attacks. I am always anxious, Im petrified of heights. Im afraid of sleep, yes, sleep. Terrified of it. Havent slept well if at all in months.
I have to go on holiday soon and my anxiety will be awful and my cuts will show.
Im so shameful about being suicidal a while ago, I hate that my parents know, I have messed things up in my family so much.
I'm jelous of everyone I know. Even if they are worse off, im jelous of their body, age, height, weight, name, personality, life, family, what ever you can think of about a person I will be jelous of. And big time. Like its almost paralysing.
I have panic attacks for no real reason too. Just random ones. ffs.
IM 13 I CANT KEEP DEALING WITH IT ALL!
I am out of school and missing lots of GCSE work, and im so stressed about that. I literally do nothing all day. I wake up at like 11 and just mope around all day like skype a few people and text people and go back to bed. I dont get dressed half the time. Infact, I have a panic at the thought of leaving my house.
I miss the old me..
Also my mum is disabled and her condition is getting worse, it worrys me so much. I cant do this without her, infact I just started crying at the thought of this.
I want OUT!

Suicide is not a viable option. When I think of suicide, I'm really thinking sleeping, relaxing, being gone from my problems. Suicide is none of these. Your problems will still be there; you just won't be there to deal with them. You won't be happy or sad or anything. There's a chance you won't exist. And talking like this.. .its not safe. People who are going to end it end it irregardless of other people's opinions, I can't cause you to do anything by saying anything to you. But, I can tell you there's other solutions, there's other ways to get help other than killing yourself or talking about killing yourself. One of my friends new a guy who accidently killed himself while trying to fake kill himself. Get help.

[Anne1221]

Maddie...you can get better but you need help. Please talk to your mom about how unhappy you are and ask her if you could just talk to your doctor about what's going on. Don't keep this all to yourself...tell your family and beg them to get you some help.

[nikki_marie21]

Maddie .. I am truly sorry for what you are feeling/going through, especially at such a young age .. If you can voice your concerns here on the forum then I hope you can try to do the same with your family to seek help with a professional. Suicide is never the answer .. While your stress and worry ends, you leave your family with the heart break and pain. If you feel you cannot fight this battle of depression/panic/anxiety on your own then please be loud and let ppl know how badly this is effecting you ,, let it be known how strongly you need help .. You are young.. You have so much life to live and so many things to experience. You can only get so low before you have to start your climb back up again.

[maddie-_-]

Hey.. I wasnt really saying I would actually commit suicide, but the idea of it is nice and I dont know what to do with all this stress :( I really dont know what to do, I dont want to end t hings but..it does seem nice.
I wont, just want to, but im far too afraid of the unknown really haha

[Evanchic]

Sometimes maybe you just need someone to talk to or listen and give advice or encouragement about your stressful situations. We're a little bit older and have been in and survived these things. :) feel free to vent, rant and get things off your chest. Think of why you think suicide is nice idea? Is it because you feel no one understands you? Or you're alone? You named off a LOT in the initial post so I know you have a lot going through your head. Break it down to deal with it one at a time instead of all at once if you can. With depression and anxiety, it is SOOOO EASY to be overwhelmed.