Separation anxiety

[tross21]

I am an 18 year old female and I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and I've been on medication since November last year and I have found that it has helped me a lot which I am so happy about!

The problem I am still struggling with it separation anxiety. I love to travel and live my life like I should but when it comes to my mum, I have a hard time leaving her. Next week I am going to England for 6 weeks to see other family and friends.

I am very close to my mum and we have been through so much together. She is a single mum and has a very abusive ex partner, the father of my little sister.

I am so worried about leaving my mum whilst I go overseas. She tells me she will be fine and I shouldn't be worrying at all but for some reason I just can't help it. I find myself picturing worst case scenarios in my head. Even when I'm away from her for just a weekend I constantly worrying and it's hard to live my life and I'm so sick of it.

I need to find a way to stop worrying about her because this is becoming unhealthy and is beginning to take over my life. I can't keep missing out on opportunities in life because I'm worried about mum all the time. What can I do to deal with this? My other anxiety problems with GAD are a lot more under control now with the medication but this is something I still struggle with. I don't know what to do, please help.

Miss Anxious

[Anne1221]

Keep reminding yourself that your mother says SHE WILL BE FINE. If you do travel, stay in touch with her several times a day and find a way that you can get home fast should she need you.

[Im-Suffering]

I am an 18 year old female and I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and I've been on medication since November last year and I have found that it has helped me a lot which I am so happy about!

The problem I am still struggling with it separation anxiety. I love to travel and live my life like I should but when it comes to my mum, I have a hard time leaving her. Next week I am going to England for 6 weeks to see other family and friends.

I am very close to my mum and we have been through so much together. She is a single mum and has a very abusive ex partner, the father of my little sister.

I am so worried about leaving my mum whilst I go overseas. She tells me she will be fine and I shouldn't be worrying at all but for some reason I just can't help it. I find myself picturing worst case scenarios in my head. Even when I'm away from her for just a weekend I constantly worrying and it's hard to live my life and I'm so sick of it.

I need to find a way to stop worrying about her because this is becoming unhealthy and is beginning to take over my life. I can't keep missing out on opportunities in life because I'm worried about mum all the time. What can I do to deal with this? My other anxiety problems with GAD are a lot more under control now with the medication but this is something I still struggle with. I don't know what to do, please help.

Miss Anxious

Is the abuse current, or past. What is her health condition, mental and physical. You know there is much more to the story than you have posted. How then, do you expect a meaningful answer?

Your post is 97% about you and your internal struggles, and 3% (one line) about her. Reverse those numbers and you will learn about yourself. Write about it.

For your own personal edification I tell you that you think about her so often, in non constructive ways, meaning fearful, worried, concerned for welfare, stress, you dwell on the what ifs, what was, what could be. Now, thinking of her often could be beneficial if your thoughts were constructive, if you thought only of her well being, picturing her vibrant, secure, in good health, happy, etc.

I am telling you that it does her no good to think negetively. Even if she herself does not have the strength to stay in a positive state of mind (for she shares in your destructive thoughts), your loving, healthy, recouperative, thoughts can be of help should you change your patterns, how you feel about her.

So you are both thinking destructively and this for the term it has been going on for, can create all sorts of unhappy conditions. You will call it murphys law as you go for 6 weeks and she falls ill, when in truth you both co-created the most dire experience possible, period.

Stop looking at what the outside of events show you, for those are the results of your thoughts. Look instead inside and learn to play with your image-ination, with images of happiness, health, security, prosperity, and independence. And so this will come to pass.

Now you are young so you might not understand any of this ! So bring it to someone who will !

Create what you want, rather than what you dont, either way you follow the rule. You create thusly: (no exceptions)-

A) focused concentration unwaivering towards what you want
B) focused concentration unwaivering towards what you dont want (your current state)
C) no focus no intent, no concentration, in which you dont notice whats right under your nose. Its neutral, it doesnt matter.

[Pumpkin]

I can relate to this post entirely. My mom is also a single mother and my father was an abusive alcoholic. My first ever anxiety and panic attacks came from my mom going out at night and me not being able to be with her when I was a little girl. I would cry all night long and have the worst attacks of my life. I couldn't relax until she got home because I was always worried she would die. In grade 7 and 8 I never went on any of the overnight trips because I was far too anxious. I only went on two overnight trips in highschool because they were within an hour distance from my house and if anything bad were to happen, I knew I would be close to home. Last year, I didn't go on the highschool graduate trip either which was in the Caribbean. I was far too anxious and couldn't imagine being that far away from my mom. Along with that, i'm living at home this year for college instead of moving away to residence like my sisters and many of my friends did.

Even though my anxiety around my mom dying hasn't fully gone away, I can say it's gotten a lot better. I'm 18 years old now and capable of doing a lot more stuff without my mom. Sleeping over at friends places and going on those 2 overnight school trips was a huge improvement for me and a few years back, I would never have expected myself to be able to do that. When I look back at all the times I stayed home instead of going out to do things, I feel silly for worrying as much as I did because nothing bad ever happened to my mom. She was safe, and your mother will be too. It might be hard, but you need to push yourself to do things so the next time will be even easier.

Enjoy your trip!! Make sure you have resources and tools to use incase you do start having an attack while you're gone. Bring things that comfort you and know that there will be people around you to help you if things get hard. Try to relax, have fun & good luck :D