Travelling anxiety (Please have a look and offer some advice if you can :))

[mehmehmeh]

So um, hi. I'm new to the forum and I only really joined to post this, as I feel it's kinda urgent somehow (although I might end up coming back in the future).

So yeah, let me introduce myself.
I am a 19-year-old girl from England, I've been battling (what I believe to be) anxiety and depression for some time now, maybe 2 years.

Over the past year I've been on an art college course and I originally intended to go straight to university afterwards. But on the course I met a girl who I got along with and she said she wanted to do a gap year and go travelling around Europe.
I somehow ended up joining in on this idea and now somehow, it doesn't feel quite real but, we're going on a gap year together - starting in about 4 months' time.

I've been around Europe before on holiday with my family so I am familiar with it, but I've never been for more than 2 weeks at the maximum.
We're going to be going to France, Spain and Holland for a few months per country (with breaks back home inbetween) and be volunteering with hosts in exchange for food and accomodation.

Don't get me wrong, I am very excited to be doing this. But at the same time I am incredibly nervous.
I just envision sleepless nights, lay awake in bed in hot sweats tossing and turning and crying, in some unfamiliar place knowing that there is no easy way out.

I know the girl I'm going with relatively well but not amazingly well, so I find it really hard to say all of this to her. I don't want to seem like I'm not committed to the idea.

I'm just really scared. But at the same time I feel like I HAVE to face this fear and get it over with or I'll be scared forever.

I was just wondering if any of you have any advice for how I should deal with this kind of anxiety when it's too overwhelming to handle, or anything like that. Please don't tell me not to do the gap year, I just know that I need to do it.

Anyway yeah thanks for reading, if you could offer me any kind of advice then I would appreciate it so much as I have been going out of my mind worrying about this, no joke.

Thanks again xx

[Anne1221]

I can tell you this...once the trip starts and you are busy and going places and doing things and taking pictures and eating new foods,and posting on this forum about amazing places you're seeing, etc. your anxiety will subside and you'll relax. So focus on how you'll be having a good time once the ball gets rolling. In the meantime, keep yourself busy and occupied.

[PanicCured]

I wish I was living in England about to travel France and Spain! I love English girls! I love French wine!

[tross21]

Go for it girl! Yeah, travelling can be scary, but you're going to be with another person, not alone, there is an advantage!

Face this fear head first, it's going to be a struggle at the start but once it's all happening you are going to be so busy to even think about it. Get excited, this is going to be a great experience for you, so don't think, and just enjoy every minute. One day you will look back on this and wonder why on earth you were so nervous for. Have fun and live your life.

[mehmehmeh]

Thankyou so much for all of your replies, it may have seemed like an obvious answer but it's so helpful to get an outside view sometimes - it's easy to get caught up in the whole situation and lose rationality!

Thanks again, think I just gotta brave it. Probably still won't be able to sleep the night before I go but I think a big part of it is just excitement :)

[Pumpkin]

I'm scared to be too far away from home too. I've struggled with it all my life in fear that something bad will happen to me or my mom. I also took a gap year after graduating due to high levels of anxiety. I graduated highschool in June 2013 but went back for 1 semester the following school year as a grade 13 student since I didn't want to go crazy doing nothing most days. I upgraded a mark just to keep myself busy. I've been out of school since January but I still consider it a gap year since I didn't go straight to college. I start college in September and i'm nervous but at the same time, i'm way more ready than I was last year. I'm so glad I took the gap because I needed time to relax, think about my future and better my health. I recommend the gap for those of us with bad anxiety. It gives us the motivation and push we need.

Don't let people put down your decisions. You know yourself best and you know what you need to succeed so enjoy your time in Europe! Make sure you have ready resources incase you do start to feel anxious although I'm sure you won't need them. Once you start travelling you'll be so busy that you anxiety won't even be an issue for you.

[mehmehmeh]

Thanks again for your replies! :)
It's silly really, I want to go on a gap year to become a more self-sufficient confident person, yet it still scares me so much. It's like there's an anxious scared me who can't do it at all, and then inside there is this potential me who is so much more - so much more courageous and unlimited! Anyone else get this dual personality thing?