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View Full Version : so happy to have found this. . anyone else afraid to alone?



reinventmyself
06-08-2014, 12:14 PM
My anxiety began at the end of a bad marriage. My sons were independent and my ex H was controlling and I found myself isolated and alone.
Divorced and years later with a couple of broken relationships I am sitting here assessing my life and the decisions I made that were motivated by anxiety.
I see my fear/anxiety of being alone has brought me to make bad choices in men and caused me to stay longer than I should just to avoid the debilitating anxiety I knew would be waiting for me on the other side.
I have spent some time on my own and made some strides but never really seem to make it to the other side.
I am currently in therapy, on meds and I am fortunate to have friends and a decent social life. But lets face it, I can't keep running from myself and they can't hold my hand 24/7 Besides I think I may scare them with my neediness.
It's shaming to feel so dependent to be this way and I can't seem to get a handle on it.
I have a hard time doing just basic self care things such as laundry, sweeping my patio because it's mindless chores and I end up in my head obsessing.
I end up back on the couch curled up in ball trying to escape through my tv or computer and not getting anything accomplished.
I have worked at this for 15 years now and don't seem to get ahead of it. The only time I am not anxious is when I am in a relationship. I am lurking on internet dating websites looking for my next fix and that in itself gives me anxiety knowing that I am not in good place to make a sound choice.
Ugh. . well now, there's the ugly honest truth.
Hopefully someone experiences the same thing and we can be of some support to each other.
Has anyone tried hypnotism?
Can't think of anything I've wanted more than to get this monkey off my back.
Thanks for the space!

Anne1221
06-08-2014, 01:15 PM
My pychiatrist told me he didn't think hypnosis would help me with my anxiety so I've never tried it. You have got to get some counseling/therapy to help you!! You've taken the first step and done an excellent job of assessing where you're at. Now you need some help in going forward and not repeating the same mistakes.

reinventmyself
06-08-2014, 01:17 PM
My pychiatrist told me he didn't think hypnosis would help me with my anxiety so I've never tried it. You have got to get some counseling/therapy to help you!! You've taken the first step and done an excellent job of assessing where you're at. Now you need some help in going forward and not repeating the same mistakes.

Thanks for the reply Anne!
I am back in therapy.
Been going off and on for 14 years. . .so frustrated.

Cullingford
06-08-2014, 02:33 PM
Hi there reiventmyself I tried hypnosis for my anxiety a while back it worked for me for a short time then the anxiety crept back in. It was very relaxing experience also very expensive, anyway good to meet you.

Anne1221
06-08-2014, 09:58 PM
I see, you're already in therapy. Well, nothing wrong with looking for a partner IF you're willing to wait and find someone that's good for you. In the meantime, i would encourage you to let go of the worrying about whether your friends are getting tired of your being needy. Be a good friend to them, make sure to surround yourself with good people, and let go and enjoy your social relationships.
Try to stop the habit of escaping and face those chores as you will feel so much better if you get them done! Put on some good music and cross one or two things off your list. Of course, that's easy for me to say, as cleaning helps calm me down!

HockeyRules
06-08-2014, 11:17 PM
Good sound advice Anne. :)

Bhargav Sanketi
06-08-2014, 11:32 PM
YES. Be strong. This too shall pass. You may want to check out the Healtheminds website. They helped me out a lot when I was in a similar case.
Take care.

Cheers from India.