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Joe.
06-07-2014, 10:57 AM
Even though I have been very open on this forum and to my close friends, I just cannot tell my family at the moment!
I know I have to, and I know it will help, but ( It's hard to explain) I just can't.
Any advice?
I'm thinking the reason it is so hard is my mum has anxiety and this could.......

Im-Suffering
06-07-2014, 11:14 AM
Even though I have been very open on this forum and to my close friends, I just cannot tell my family at the moment!
I know I have to, and I know it will help, but ( It's hard to explain) I just can't.
Any advice?
I'm thinking the reason it is so hard is my mum has anxiety and this could.......

Make it worse, make her worry, exaserbate her issues, depress her, scare her, send her off the deep end, kill her, send her to the ER, put her over the edge, sadden her..

Take her worries off herself and transfer her attention to you.

She already worries about you, she already knows you have anxiety/panic, she already panic's thinking about your health, she already has anxious thoughts about how to help you and your brother but.. she cannot figure out how to help herself.

In a way, she needs you to tell her, in a calm way, clear, soft tone, easy, chill, thought out, compassionate, empathetic and cool collected manner.

Once you are out of your closet, in your terms, then comfort, sharing, healing and light can come to the 3 of you. If you still hold torrid dirty little taboo secrets you will all remain uncomfortable.

***Your mother reads you telepathically, and this mode of feeling happens whether you believe it or not, no exceptions. So the sooner you share, openly, lovingly, and honestly, the sooner you can all open your windows and let the light in.

Whatever is in, through thought, deed, or action, your highest regard, when you act in your best interests, it is all-ways the best for everyone else. The question comes, what is the highest regard for me in this situation?

To hide, to withhold, to run, to sneak, to not express, to show lack, to squirm, to stay in darkness, is fear, wheras the light shall shine through love, expression, compassion, understanding, shareing, and in so acting, all shall know thy truth and courage, the sooner the better, for in the light there is love.

In the light of love, of family, of helpfulness, of creativity in problem solving, in this there can be no heart palpitations, or health troubles, rather in and through love, and the action of its expression in word, deed, any trouble can be reversed, period.

If you enjoy philosophy, as you say, you should understand and relate, intuitively to this post.

Thats all i have for you, unless you want more on family dynamics.

Joe.
06-07-2014, 11:29 AM
Wow, you can really write about anxiety well.
I'll try to take on board what you say!
I think however my Mum is completely unaware of my anxiety and has described me as "very calm", she does not expect it at all.
Her anxiety is very different to mine, and that make me worry somehow, she does not fear illness at all, she fears money issues etc.
Last week when I did have a mild panic attack in the airport with her I did sort of tell her, but you see when I asked her about it again she only thought I meant I was anxious not I have anxiety.
Really good reply to my thread! How's your day been?

Im-Suffering
06-07-2014, 11:52 AM
Wow, you can really write about anxiety well.
I'll try to take on board what you say!
I think however my Mum is completely unaware of my anxiety and has described me as "very calm", she does not expect it at all.
Her anxiety is very different to mine, and that make me worry somehow, she does not fear illness at all, she fears money issues etc.
Last week when I did have a mild panic attack in the airport with her I did sort of tell her, but you see when I asked her about it again she only thought I meant I was anxious not I have anxiety.
Really good reply to my thread! How's your day been?

False thinking, false belief system, unclear facts. Reread my post and hang it on your wall of philosophy with a gold star! Your mom reads you through soul-communication, and feeling, in your terms, if that word makes it easier to understand. And if you live a lie about who you are, it is not constructive.

As a human there is always wishful thinking for the best, that is inherent in the species. Do not listen to the words (that you are calm), that you know contradict with your feelings (you are anxious), and live untrue to yourself. There is no truth in darkness.

I dont mince words, im sorry, I channel these things, and edit for the errors or grammar.

As a side note, since you enjoy philosophy, we all have a life-theme, so to speak, where challenges are set and met, it is how you greet these experiences that mold your identity, in which you take with you, as building blocks even after the body has passed. Money is common, and so is health. By each having a different theme in the family unit, you get to experience them all, you see.

It is therefor constructive that the body feels what emotionally you cannot express. Once you lift some of your burdon, the sensations will lessen.

Im-Suffering
06-07-2014, 12:24 PM
Let me just add one thing here to your post (being open about anxiety), people have forgotten. Words are the least effective form of communication, as one does not even usually know how their sentence will end when speaking! Feeling, or emotions, communicate what we will call an atmosphere, or tone, as an artist paints a portrait and uses color to convey emotion you see. Your Bible quotes, "out of the heart, the tongue speaks"

Listen, God knows what every creature down to His least, in every system, in every reality, on every planet and in every last inch, is thinking, at once. Every thought, by every creature is telepathically communicated as a feeling, at the same time ! Thats a lot to keep track of !

You cannot hide your truth from your God, and you cannot ultimately hide it from your neighbor. It is the feeling center that has been closed in lieu of words! Thus the troubles began as disease and hardship. Full expression of feelings would desensitize a weary body, but that is no small task !

Irish Sammie
06-07-2014, 04:11 PM
Hey Joe,

I was recently in this exact position. I'm the youngest in the family and I was always worried about telling her as she worries about me the most (merely for that fact). What I've found out, is that it's good to tell them; but at the end of the day it is something that only you can rid yourself of. I'm not saying to not communicate to other people about it, but it can turn into a "crutch" of sorts. Just be aware of that as since telling my mum about this, I've found out more about her and what she's been going through lately herself. I didn't know that she too was experiencing anxiety, but to my knowledge not to the same degree as my situation calls for.

Since finding out about it, the only time I've brought it up, is if I've found a new way of battling it whether it be a meditative method, or an inspirational book that I recently read. I feel ok saying those things as they're positives and it then provides her with more confidence about my situation, thus making her worry less. If you're coming to her all the time with negatives it might wear a person down. Just some food for thought ;)

Pumpkin
06-07-2014, 10:01 PM
Hey Joe!! I haven't been very open about my anxiety either.. it's slighty scraped the surface a few times but it's never been a full on conversation. I'm too afraid to open up because it's just not a conversation I want to have with my mother so I know where you're coming from.

I think your mother will be very understanding and supportive of your situation seeing as she can relate. You don't have to jump right into your whole story with her but maybe tell her that you aren't feeling too well and when she asks why, you can explain a few of your symptoms. I'm sure once she starts to see where you're headed with the conversation she'll make you feel a lot better and allow you to be open with her. Remember though, it might seem like a hard thing to talk about at first, but once the subject comes to light you'll realize you didn't have a lot to be afraid of after all. I'm sure your mother can help you quite a bit with your anxiety and give you some of the best comfort and advice out there :) Good luck!!