whats the point

[ames]

seriously, i have no idea how pointless life became. i'm 25 and back living with my folks, after my ex beat me half to death.i have no job, no goals and i keep pushing everyone away. i never leave my room as i'm to afraid of the big wide world, worst part is making eye contact,it feels like they are looking into the very depth of my soul, crusifing my very existance. i'm so full of anger and hate i'm scared of what might happen, worst part is i'm pissed of at myself for letting vermin walk over me because i don't have the balls to stand up for myself . all i have left is my cat, no one seems to understand or care that i've fallen apart.. i spent the last 6 months drunk, literally, until i woke up and realised i'm just like my dad except worse. whats the point if theres no light at the end of the tunnel? i'm not going to top myself, i'm too gutless. i just wanna get away from myself but i'm still here

[86guy]

We all been there you need to relax

[needtogetwell]

I think it's time for you to see your doctor and tell him everything. There are many strategies out there to help you out of the situation you are in. Not all of the strategies involve medication if that is a concern of yours.

You will get better, you just need more help. Your parents are obviously supportive as you are back living with them. Search out those other supports, starting with your doctor.

Wishing you the best.

[superchick22684]

I would definitely see your doctor and tell him what is going on. I don't have a medical degree but given what is going on in regards to your ex having beaten you and the drinking I think therapy would be a good option for you.
I know what its like to feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, I've been there. Its not a great place to be but things can get better. As for feeling like your folks are judging you I'm sure they are just concerned and are not sure how to help you.
I wish you the best.

[snowberry]

First of all, don't think about 'where my life is going from here'. That's the future, and something which none of us have control over. Even people with everything seemingly all planned out can get waylaid.

Instead, focus on now. What is important now? At this moment your biggest problems are to do with your drinking, self-esteem and depression. So you need to set daily goals to help beat these feelings of worthlessness.

Here's an example of a day plan you might want to make:

1.) Drink no more than X amount of units of alcohol (there's no way you can just go full turkey, so it's better to put an achievable limit on your drinking for now. Estimate how many units of alcohol you usually drink per day - for example, 5 - and decide what is realistic for you; for example, going from 5 to 4 may be the best you can do for now, and that is fine. Any reduction is an achievement.)

2.) If you don't already, make an effort to open the blind/curtains of your room. If it's a nice day, open the window.

3.) Straighten up your environment. If your room is messy this may mean tidying things away and clearing space on a surface, i.e. a desk. If you can't manage the whole room that is fine. Just one surface will do for today. If your room is already tidy, get a duster or wet wipe and give everything a wipe down anyway. As you clean, try to focus on the sights, sounds and smells of cleaning. When negative thoughts enter your mind, as they will do, acknowledge them and gently bring your focus back to your cleaning.

4.) Look into something to help alleviate your situation. For example, maybe you've been meaning to make an appointment with the doctor or a therapist, or perhaps you've been meaning to find information on alcohol abuse. Whatever it is that you've been putting off, make the decision to get it done today.

5.) Do 5 minutes of simple stretches or aerobics. Even five minutes will go a long way.

This is just an example of the kind of things you may decide to do. You might be thinking: "That's all well an all, but what about getting a job and moving out?" The fact is that focusing on that sort of thing is only going to make you feel worse, because it's not an achievable goal right now. So take it one day at a time. You may not see the immediate benefits of your new routine, but within two weeks you will realise that you probably feel a little better for having created realistic goals that you are able to maintain and achieve. Focus on the here and now, because that's the only time that matters.

[ames]

Thanks for the advice everyone!! Really made me think.
I had to vent to someone, so sorry if my words last night seemed vulgar!
I shall try to go to my doctor today, i guess if all you guys have, so can i

[Anne1221]

Well, I learned something today. I had to look up "Straya" to see where you were from and it's slang for Australia.

[nikki_marie21]

I believe you already had some awesome replies regarding this thread .. We've all felt low or at a time in our lives when we wonder ... 'Whats the point' .. It's life .. You are feeling low .. Just remember .. You can only fall so far before the only way to go is up .. Think of some of the situations that you have gone through as a learning experience and use it as a tool to know what you what you expect from yourself and others and what you will/will not tolerate in your life .. Stay strong, you and your life is worth it

[NixonRulz]

seriously, i have no idea how pointless life became. i'm 25 and back living with my folks, after my ex beat me half to death.i have no job, no goals and i keep pushing everyone away. i never leave my room as i'm to afraid of the big wide world, worst part is making eye contact,it feels like they are looking into the very depth of my soul, crusifing my very existance. i'm so full of anger and hate i'm scared of what might happen, worst part is i'm pissed of at myself for letting vermin walk over me because i don't have the balls to stand up for myself . all i have left is my cat, no one seems to understand or care that i've fallen apart.. i spent the last 6 months drunk, literally, until i woke up and realised i'm just like my dad except worse. whats the point if theres no light at the end of the tunnel? i'm not going to top myself, i'm too gutless. i just wanna get away from myself but i'm still here

It's okay to feel sorry for yourself.......for no more than 3 days

After that it is time to start living.

You've made some bad choices and have regrets. Learn from those mistakes.

That's what builds character and allows you to be the person you will ultimately be

Guy was a dick? You now now know what you don't want. Lesson learned.

6 months drinking to self medicate is no time at all. You realized you don't want that. So stop.

Your life is about the decisions you make on how your life will progress. Past experiences are important so to develop the person you become.

So you are beating yourself up for making the same mistakes most people make?

Use those experiences to become the strong person that is in you

It's your move. Choose wisely.

[Michael33]

GYM GYM GYM

Go to the gym, fitness will keep you far away from alcohol, you'll meet and see new people and you'll get in shape. Who gives a shit if people look at you, nobody there is making fun of you or looking into your soul or w.e, it will be the best $45 a month you'll ever spend in your life. Excercise is the cheapest antidepressant