chanellebourgeois
05-25-2014, 03:58 PM
there's a song called "fix You" by coldplay. This song relates to me like no other, in so many ways. It sends me a very strong, message. It's like, wow. The first verse:(When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse?) relates because, I've tried to fight anxiety so much, over and over and over and over and over, and nothing seems to work sometimes. Also, I've had other wishes and desires, but it seems like the things I need the most help with don't come in. I stay up thinking about how the next day might go, or how terrible the present day was, so I never get any sleep. I am "stuck in reverse", because the same stuff happens everyday. It's like going to a job you hate everyday, but you have to go, like in that French movie Lost Cause on youtube. I cry and cry about it, until my head hurts really bad. Have you ever cried that hard? I lose friends that I cannot replace, and I love this guy in my class, because he's shy, and only talks to his guy friends, and when he cant say something his friend says it for him. I think that's adorable, and I just, love that. I love sensitive people. Well, sensitive guys. But anyway, I'd always picture what It'd be like if, you know, but it's like I always tell myself it would never happen, and it's impossible. But I've seen the impossible be possible for me, but I just cant imagine me and that guy happening. I've never talked to him. I think he's either Mexican, indian, or something. He has like, light brown skin, but Caucasian like hair. But, I feel like loving, or liking him, is just a waste of time. And the chorus, (Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you) This means to me that God will guide me to a peaceful, normal life. And that anxiety is a disease that rusts my gears and stops my function. And he will eventually, through prayer and faith, "fix" me, because im broken, from anxiety. The second verse means to me that since I believe that loving that guy is a waste, why do I continue to waste time then, but I just love him so so so much, and I feel like there aren't any other guys like that..and it makes me not want to ever let him go. I hope I don't sound like a stalker. I do this a lot. Anyway, the very last two lines of the second verse remind me that if I don't try to talk, and fight anxiety, I'll never know who could've been my friend, and where I could be right now. I mean, yeah, I will fail. I know that. People will reject me. It hurts. It sucks. I hate it. But it's humanity. I know that I cant just sit around wishing for my anxiety to disappear, but I never do anything about, it. Anyway, this song is special to me. And I have a very wide and open imagination, so to those who do not know that, well. :D[/COLOR][/FONT]