NervousNiki
05-21-2014, 12:46 PM
Not sure if it is a good thing to put so much focus on this as its happening. But I think that this may help me get thru this. I have to find some rational thoughts quick. Right now I am feeling about 98% detached. If I hit that 100% mark, it will not be good and I'll be on the phone with 911 or driving myself to the er.
Anxiety: Your neck and shoulders are achy. This might be a heart attack. Quick take your pulse and check your blood pressure!
Me: Of course my neck and shoulders are achy. You keep me tense all the time and don't ever let me relax. I'll go take a hot shower. That will help.
Anxiety: Do you really want your boyfriend to find you dead and nude in a cold shower when he gets home?
Me: You always say that. You just know there's a good chance you'll be forced to back off by the time that water shuts off.
Anxiety: You can't take a deep breath. You're definitely going to die this time.
Me: I can't take a deep breath because you're always choking me and allowing me only small amounts of air in-and that's only when you're not completely holding my breath in your grip. My deep breather muscles are out if shape.
Anxiety: You're floating away from yourself. That distance is you leaving. This is it.
Me: That's not me leaving. That's you trying to steal me. I won't let you. Not this time. Not ever again.
Hmm. That actually helped. A lot. Enough for me to be able to go get in the shower. I stood in there until the water ran tepid. By the time I was dried off and dressed, I was mostly okay. Another 10 minutes playing with my cat and I'm back. I don't know if I'll ever be unafflicted, but I will control this somehow.
Anxiety: Your neck and shoulders are achy. This might be a heart attack. Quick take your pulse and check your blood pressure!
Me: Of course my neck and shoulders are achy. You keep me tense all the time and don't ever let me relax. I'll go take a hot shower. That will help.
Anxiety: Do you really want your boyfriend to find you dead and nude in a cold shower when he gets home?
Me: You always say that. You just know there's a good chance you'll be forced to back off by the time that water shuts off.
Anxiety: You can't take a deep breath. You're definitely going to die this time.
Me: I can't take a deep breath because you're always choking me and allowing me only small amounts of air in-and that's only when you're not completely holding my breath in your grip. My deep breather muscles are out if shape.
Anxiety: You're floating away from yourself. That distance is you leaving. This is it.
Me: That's not me leaving. That's you trying to steal me. I won't let you. Not this time. Not ever again.
Hmm. That actually helped. A lot. Enough for me to be able to go get in the shower. I stood in there until the water ran tepid. By the time I was dried off and dressed, I was mostly okay. Another 10 minutes playing with my cat and I'm back. I don't know if I'll ever be unafflicted, but I will control this somehow.