Just weird

[Slammed Vdub]

Does anyone ever feel just strange? Im not sure how to describe it. Its like im not having an attack, but rather living in fear of the attack thus making me anxious. I thought i beat it all but its like im back in the cycle. I just feel like myself anymore. I am at a very stressful time in my life which im betting is the cause. It just seems im so much more in edge and feel just so "off." Its like a never ending anxiety episode of having fear of anxiety. Its almost like im caught in the fog again.

Its like im living in fear of going mental or loosing my mind which scares me the most. I have always had health anxiety, specifically anything to do with my stomach. It seems anytime i dont feel perfect i fear getting sick. Any little pain or abnormal feeling can trigger the worst in me. I hate admitting that im scared but i am.

Another thing to add: I have always regretted not going to parties when i was in high school and college. I feel l missed out on so much fun. And all these funny movies out show just how bland my life is. And how much i might have missed out on by saying no to all the invites and working. And the sad part was that people throwing up was the reason i never attended. Embarrassing i know, but still, i feel like missed out on being a teen and really enjoying life. I was to scared to take the risk so i would stay in alone. Sorry for the rant.

[Anne1221]

I don't think you missed out on anything. I didn't find parties much fun at all, just people acting like they were having fun.
Everyone drinking too much and just seeing how drunk they can get. I never look back and say, "gee, I miss that in my life now".

[Slammed Vdub]

Yeah i suppose your right. It sometimes jut feels like i am trapped inside myself and feel like im going crazy. Going crazy scares me most. Not sure if anyone can relate or if i am

[Anne1221]

Don't feel like you're going to go crazy. You have anxiety and fear and you just have to do your best to get that treated. You might benefit from having a therapist/good doctor and getting the anxiety under control.

[AliasEQ]

Hey,

What you're describing isn't weird at all. I used to have that feeling too. After your first panic attack, it was so horrible, you're scared to have another one. And then you fear the fear and it goes on and on.

I hated that. I hated it so much, I actually started to prefer having a panic attack than having this fear of having one. Sounds like "wtf?", but that's how I got out of that cycle. Sometimes the best way to defend yourself is by attacking. (To make this part easier, medications/supplements/exercise/meditation can help you out alooot.)

So the next time you're feeling "edgy" and you're really close to have a panic attack; say f*ck it. Don't fight it, let it happen. You will realise soon that once you're not scared of your panic attacks, you won't get them at all.


Fear of going crazy. I had that one too. But relax, you're not going crazy. Chances for you going crazy are just as high as they were before you got your anxiety. And besides, you wouldn't even know that you're crazy. This fear is completly irrational, so try to smile and give it a big big big f*ck you everytime it bugs you :)

If I said parties was boring, I would be lying. But for me, staying home and chill with some friends or watch a movie is waaaaaaay more fun. Wish you the best!

Elias

[Slammed Vdub]

That was my old tactic when i got past it for the most part the first time. I always said fuck it.. But at this point i cant tell if im having an actual attack. Usually i would have a full on attack, Now it just feels like i am loosing my mind. I am scared of actually loosing myself completely down the road i guess. If i can keep myself distracted i am perfectly fine. Video games whatever. As long as my mind is off of it i am normal. But once the thought is in my mind, thats all i think and freak out about and actually feel like im loosing it. My doctor diagnosed me with GAD, and OCD of thoughts which is why i believe it is so bad. Once my mind is on something thats all i think about.

[Anne1221]

It sounds like your anxiety is not really under control. Like Alias said, "medications/supplements/exercise/meditation can help you out alooot.)" So start working on those things. As for me, I take the medication, along with doing the other things. If I didn't, I would be a complete mess.

[NervousNiki]

I was thinking about this today. Some days I'm not sure which I dislike more-the panic attacks or the anxiety that surrounds the attacks. So often throughout the day I find that I just don't feel right. Something is always off. On the rare occasion that I do feel normal, I ruin it by obsessing about how long it will last. It is a vicious cycle that I am struggling to get out of. Right now, I feel mostly okay. I've a bit of a headache, and feel a bit foggy. But I have to attribute that to not getting much sleep the past few days. I work nights and a good days sleep is hard to come by. I wish you the best in this. :)