Seeking advice on teenage stress

[elleantostin]

I'm 15 and about to be on summer break (finishing 9th grade). I feel like I'm not going to be able to enjoy one of my last summers before I go off to college because of the pressure from my parents (and myself) to constantly be working, never relaxing. I plan on volunteering for four to five different organizations this summer, I'm taking the ACT and I've just completed Algebra I and Geometry in the same year so that I can take Algebra 2 AP next year. I also have a page in which I help and talk to people with family/mental problems that I spend a good amount of time on.
I spend my free time on my laptop because I don't have friends and I cannot drive myself anywhere yet. Because of how I choose to spend my free time, I feel like a lazy loser and I am super stressed. Any advice?

[Kuma]

It is clear to me that you are not a "lazy loser." You may be the polar opposite of "lazy," with all the studying, high level and AP classes, doubling up on maths, taking the ACT ahead of schedule, volunteering, etc. A lot of parents (including me) wish our kids were half as industrious as you are.

BUT, as your note suggests that you already realize, you may be doing "too much." You do not need to spend all of your time studying, taking double math, taking the ACT a year or two early, stressing about school, or volunteer at 4 or 5 organizations,, etc. in order to be successful. (I did A LOT less than that and I still went to a very good college and have a rewarding, high-level professional career).

I don't want to discourage you from being highly motivated and industrious -- I respect that -- but these are also years to enjoy. And you never get these years back again. As an obviously very smart person, I bet you can come up with a plan to cut back modestly on your studying, your academic pressure and your volunteer activities, and inject some relaxation and recreation. (Summer volunteering is great, but some time at the pool or reading novels, or hiking or camping, or sports, or whatever you enjoy is great too -- and taking challenging classes is terrific, but you can do it in a more moderate way -- one math at a time, the ACT in junior year rather than freshman or sophomore year, no more than two APs at a time, etc.).

I am confident that some modest cutting back, and increased balance, will not hurt you academically. It may even help. And it will certainly make you happier. And with respect to parental pressure, I know your parents want to you achieve. But I am equally confident that they want you to be balanced and happy. We all want that for our kids, even if we tend to talk about school and grades a lot. Best wishes, Kuma

[JohnC]

well put Kuma