leaving today. feeling anxious :(

[brittany32888]

I'm leaving for a week long trip, I've been anticipating for a while, done a pretty good job at keeping the anxiety at bay, until last night. Felt edgy, then didn't sleep well. I'm trying really hard not to have a melt down but I'm afraid that once things start moving along, I'm going to have one. I'm riding with my mom and husband, both of which tend to be huge triggers. It seems that when traveling together, they make decisions together and leave me out of it. Times we're leaving, which way we're taking, what stops are being made. And that completely freaks me out. I like to be in control of those kinds of things because it adds much needed comfort when I have an idea in my head how things are going to go. Neither of them really seem to understand what I go through every time things are different, and I feel like it's 2 against 1. Any advice or success stories would be much appreciated.

[Evanchic]

Will you be driving?

[brittany32888]

Will you be driving?

No my mom will be. Which I don't know if that makes it better or worse. As much as I hate driving, I feel more in control when I am.

[Evanchic]

I pop in some ear buds and listen to music. Look out the window and daydream or something. Probably daydream about how great life will be anxiety free and all the stuff you'd do. Riding with family is a HUGE trigger for me too.

[Evanchic]

Keep in touch. Let us know how it goes. Hope it is a good trip!

~ Evan

[Dorriekeepson23]

I'm leaving for a week long trip, I've been anticipating for a while, done a pretty good job at keeping the anxiety at bay, until last night. Felt edgy, then didn't sleep well. I'm trying really hard not to have a melt down but I'm afraid that once things start moving along, I'm going to have one. I'm riding with my mom and husband, both of which tend to be huge triggers. It seems that when traveling together, they make decisions together and leave me out of it. Times we're leaving, which way we're taking, what stops are being made. And that completely freaks me out. I like to be in control of those kinds of things because it adds much needed comfort when I have an idea in my head how things are going to go. Neither of them really seem to understand what I go through every time things are different, and I feel like it's 2 against 1. Any advice or success stories would be much appreciated.


Hey girl, I sent ya a message. I totally get what your going through. I'm not down with anxiety. By far. It really sucks. Good friends help though... I know!! lol. I hope everything went and is going well for you though. Dorrie

[brittany32888]

So the traveling part wasn't too bad. Only mild anxiety. But now tonight I am going to a recital(main reason I came here) and am feeling pretty anxious about it. Tons of people, being stuck... seeing people I may not want to see... So on and so forth. Any advice or stories of how you got through similar situations?? Could use some hope about now.

[Evanchic]

A therapist told me once to start naming everything I see. Surprisingly it worked. If I'm around people, I whisper it to myself.
Slow breathing exercises. Sometimes getting angry helps me. I used to walk around while having an attack and one day it just wasn't working. My heart was pounding, felt faint and sick and I just had enough and told my body of you're gonna do something, then f*king do it already! Tired of being crippled by these mind games! The attack stopped lol you'll be fine :)

~ Evan

[brittany32888]

A therapist told me once to start naming everything I see. Surprisingly it worked. If I'm around people, I whisper it to myself.
Slow breathing exercises. Sometimes getting angry helps me. I used to walk around while having an attack and one day it just wasn't working. My heart was pounding, felt faint and sick and I just had enough and told my body of you're gonna do something, then f*king do it already! Tired of being crippled by these mind games! The attack stopped lol you'll be fine :)

~ Evan

Ugh I'm so frustrated. Sometimes I wish I could channel my anxiety and change it into something else. I know it's possible but I haven't done it. I remember being younger, I used to always stay in the car when I was anxious. Even if my family was going to eat out... I would just stay in the car. Pretty weird no-one saw that as strange but anyway, I remember looking out and watching cars drive by and people interacting with each other, I would always think, I wish I could be anyone else doing anything else right now. Even people you would normally not pay attention to or even feel pity for, their lives seemed so much more attractive when I was stuck in this cage I had built around myself. Now is one of those moments. I'm fighting going to this event where there will be tons of different types of people, and I wish I could be one of them instead. Anyone, young or old. No-one could possibly be struggling about this as much as I am right now.

[Evanchic]

You can do this. Have some faith in yourself. When it's over, you'll be glad you faced it. What kind of recital is it?

[brittany32888]

You can do this. Have some faith in yourself. When it's over, you'll be glad you faced it. What kind of recital is it?

It was a dance recital. It went magnificently btw. Hardly any anxiety once I got there. I even got emotional because of the feelings I got watching my nieces do something they're so.passionate about. It was easy as pie. I will definitely be doing this again and again.

[Evanchic]

Awesome :) I share your anxiety and I recently went to 2 Cher concerts. They both went well for me too. I knew you could do it! It's a great feeling
~ Evan

[shdwfx989899]

How great that you were able to enjoy the recital! Yay for you. :)

[free808]

Yay brittany!

I missed this post the other day and only now read it from start to finish. I could imagine what you were feeling before the trip, and during. And then all of a sudden we get to the end and everything was awesome! =) If you haven't already, please go back and read the whole thread from start to finish. I think it will encourage you, to remember all that anxiety you felt about this whole situation, but then how it all worked out and there was nothing to fear (except fear itself haha).

I think you're going to feel pretty good if you can get your husband to have a real conversation about the whole traveling situation and how being powerless in that makes you feel. Maybe have him read this thread too and then talk about it afterward. If you never get closure on this issue, it's going to keep causing anxiety issues all over again the next time you have to drive anywhere together.

Glad to hear that the recital went well and that you had a fun, anxiety-free time at the event.

You know, I've only just recently made that connection in my head (fun/happiness vs anxiety). You can't be happy and have anxiety at the same time. When one increases, the other decreases automatically. For me, my best progress over anxiety happened when I stopped trying to cope with anxiety and instead tried to make the big changes I needed to make in order to be happy.

And communicating better with my wife -- and making MY OWN decisions, whether she liked them or not -- was one of the biggest things on the list haha! It really helped me!

Aloha, Chris

[brittany32888]

Yay brittany!

I missed this post the other day and only now read it from start to finish. I could imagine what you were feeling before the trip, and during. And then all of a sudden we get to the end and everything was awesome! =) If you haven't already, please go back and read the whole thread from start to finish. I think it will encourage you, to remember all that anxiety you felt about this whole situation, but then how it all worked out and there was nothing to fear (except fear itself haha).

I think you're going to feel pretty good if you can get your husband to have a real conversation about the whole traveling situation and how being powerless in that makes you feel. Maybe have him read this thread too and then talk about it afterward. If you never get closure on this issue, it's going to keep causing anxiety issues all over again the next time you have to drive anywhere together.

Glad to hear that the recital went well and that you had a fun, anxiety-free time at the event.

You know, I've only just recently made that connection in my head (fun/happiness vs anxiety). You can't be happy and have anxiety at the same time. When one increases, the other decreases automatically. For me, my best progress over anxiety happened when I stopped trying to cope with anxiety and instead tried to make the big changes I needed to make in order to be happy.

And communicating better with my wife -- and making MY OWN decisions, whether she liked them or not -- was one of the biggest things on the list haha! It really helped me!

Aloha, Chris

Yes everything you say makes perfect sense. I'm not quite out of the woods yet though, we still have to travel back and stop at a huge store to get my son's birthday presents. Anxious about that. But I was telling my grandmother the other day(whom I can speak with about this matter) and I told her that being anxious makes me feel I'm being robbed of my joy. It's literally like happiness is being sucked out of you, and every emotion following is just a different shade of anxiety, it's horrid. I used to enjoy the little rush of adrenaline I would get after accomplishing something that made me anxious. But now, the two extreme feelings just exhaust me. I just want balance.
I have a hard time talking to my (not quite yet) husband. I guess it goes along with the anxiety and feeling like everyone thinks you're an idiot.
It's like a baby telling a teenager they're excited because they were able to eat food without getting it up their nose.
What's important to an anxious person is usually meaningless to someone who's not... I think that's where I struggle the most.

[Evanchic]

I agree. People don't understand. I used to be that person and thought it was all over dramatic. Karma kicked my ass real good lol Now I understand completely. it's a daily struggle and it's a hard fight to get our lives "normal"... to break through the fears and look past the physical symptoms we can't control. Just deal with it as it comes.

[brittany32888]

I agree. People don't understand. I used to be that person and thought it was all over dramatic. Karma kicked my ass real good lol Now I understand completely. it's a daily struggle and it's a hard fight to get our lives "normal"... to break through the fears and look past the physical symptoms we can't control. Just deal with it as it comes.

Yep me too. I definitely try to be more sensitive and empathetic with people, especially when they're going through something I don't understand. It's a terrible place to be in. Then I hope people would use the same consideration with me, but unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way. Many a time I've been told, "just stop freaking out." If only it were that simple, then none of us would be here right? I've come to terms with the label as someone with anxiety, but I don't want to accept having to deal with this forever. One day at a time I suppose.

[free808]

"...just stop freaking out." OH MAN! That's always SO helpful, right? Haha...right up there with, "Man up" and "Just stop worrying so much." =)