tagebore95
05-14-2014, 11:11 PM
My panic attacks started about 6 months ago because I thought I was having a heart attack, My heart squeezed really hard and it felt like it had a dysfunction of some sort ( like too much pressure on it ) and it felt like it was beating once per minute... I was getting reallllyyy cold inside and everything went blank and I became hysterious I already accepted my death I remember. ( This happened after I had some bad sleep, which I've had since the 9th grade). After that, I had to go to the hospital several times, I was sure I had something wrong with my heart. So, days went by and they couldn't find anything from the ekg and every day after that I had several panic attacks where I felt reality was dissolving away and It felt like I had extreme pressure on my heart always during those attacks happened and as if it got crushed and extreme head pressure which made me unable to even concentrate, it was like a blurred vision. I couldn't do anything than just walk around the apartment like a maniac, I was literally crying because everyday was a effort for me to get through and maybe it was the last day for me... I called the ambulance several times because I thought I was having a heart attack. Sleeping was really hard for me because when I was lying down I couldn't breathe and It felt like my body was a rock and I had extreme chest pains and felt like my heart had tons of pressure. I had to quit school because I can't remember anything anymore, I have no motivation, I have no interests anymore, I have no energy, I feel empty, I feel my heart has damaged to the point I have developed heart failure, I fear I have angina I fear I'm gonna die anytime soon. What to do? I'm hopeless I feel like there is no future for me because the clock is ticking and I'm gonna die before I even hit 20, I'm almost 19 now. I have so many symptoms and so many physical feelings, something has to be wrong with me. I'm also constantly aware of my heart beat and I can see and feel it beating trough my chest. It somehow feels as if my heart is damaged. This can't be anxiety only right? I'm gonna go to the hospital soon to go trough some more testing, currently have only been talking to my psychiatrist every week.