I did a really bad thing

[Kabukicho]

Hello,

I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I had been prescribed 2 mg clonazepam daily for my anxiety. I also drank alcohol on it.

Recently, my stress increased (I'm about to move to another country for a job, leaving my girlfriend here).

I abused the clonazepam and drank a LOT of alcohol and woke up in the ER. From there, I had to go to a detox facility for 5 days. It was awful. It scared my parents so badly.

Now I cannot have any benzos or alcohol for a very long time.

I am currently prescribed propranolol and trazodone, which are proving reasonably helpful.

I don't know why I did it. It felt so good to mix the two substances. I felt so relaxed and at peace. Now I'm a mess.

[JohnC]

We live and we learn usually by our mistakes and yes we all make mistakes. Learn from it and I am glad your around to read this.

[Kabukicho]

Thank you. I learned a big lesson. I am also glad that I am around to read it. But I'm still suffering from anxiety. Going to the doctor tomorrow.

[JamieNewell2006]

Someone I know says she does this all the time.

I told her how unsafe it was and she literally laughed.

But what can you do? Live and learn my friend.

[Kabukicho]

I used to do it all the time and felt it was under control. It was under control for about a year, really. And then, quite suddenly, it wasn't under control at all.

[JamieNewell2006]

At least you own up to your mistakes. Some people can't do that. You realized that you did a bad thing, and moving forward you now know the difference. I hope it all works out for you bud.

[Anne1221]

I can think of three good reasons why you shouldn't do that again: 1. for the sake of your girlfriend 2. for the sake of your parents
3. for yourself. the relaxed/at peace feeling is only temporary and certainly not worth the long-term consequences.