lifejourney
03-31-2014, 05:41 PM
I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety over my future for about a year now. I recently graduated a semester early and I'm now participating in an internship at a entertainment company. It's not really an internship but more like a minimum wage job. I only did it to take a break from life since I graduated early. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have no job prospects and don't know how to network or with whom. I'm extremely awkward and try my best not to be. I honestly feel like a 21 year old loser who worked extremely hard to get amazing grades in college for nothing. My mom makes me feel like nothing and keeps telling me that I'll only obtain a minimum wage job. I never really had a dream career in mind. Honestly, I don't know what I like to do since my only work experience in the past was being a camp counselor. I need to physically work in a position to say whether or not it's for me. I hate when people tell me how intelligent I am when I feel completely stupid. Even though I received really good grades it's because I'm good and remembering information for exams. I don't even know if I retained anything from school. All my friends seem to have their life on track while I'm just wasting my time at this internship. Sometimes I wonder if attending college was even worth it. On top of all that my personality has changed for the worse. I use to be the goofy/optimistic person but now I don't find any interest in others except for my own friends, and I'm extremely awkward which keeps me from conversing with others. My life is just a mess and makes me think it's not worth living.