PDA

View Full Version : Do I have relationship anxiety ROCD or is there something serious wrong?



mglover92
03-24-2014, 12:35 PM
I was wondering if anyone could help me. I am ready to put this anxiety I am having to rest and moving on with my life. Lately for whatever reason I have had a lack of a sex drive. Sort of feels like i'm just not as interested as I once was? I have been with the same girl for 5 years and I love it. But ever since the sex drive issue I have been getting anxiety and tons of what if questions have bombarded my mind. The only problem I see is the relationship has got kind of "boring" but thats a issue that can easily be fixed. But these are for example the what if questions.

"what if I dont feel the same way about my girlfriend as I use to"

"what if this means that I am losing feelings for her"

"do I secretly not love her anymore, did I ever love her?"

The thing that makes me believe this could just be a relationship anxiety is because not only have I had the fear of me not "loving" her anymore but I have also had the fear of her not loving me..I get paranoid I will end up cheated on and a bunch of other irrational things that would never happen. I dont think I would get that sort of fear if I didnt love her..if that makes sense. This is what leans me toward this just being another OCD anxiety thoughts.

But constantly these questions put torment on my mind. It really sucks because sometimes I end up believing the thoughts because they feel real. Sometimes when I am with my girlfriend these questions are on my mind and its hard to act like my normal self when I am around my girlfriend because the anxiety is there. I sometimes feel cold and not as happy because there is always something on my mind. Its hard to just enjoy the present. I love her to death, I can really see me marrying her and having kids with her after college. She is the best girlfriend ever. We hardly ever fight and when we do its about little things. Last night after crying myself to sleep with these negative thoughts I had a dream of a Tornado chasing me. I googled what that met and it said it symbolizes "fear" of something going on in your life that you have no control over or anxiety or "something bad will happen".

Currently we are both about to transfer to the same 4 year college and are both going to commute from home. I am kind of scared of this change and this has also been on my mind..I cant talk to my GF about this because she also has anxiety and the last thing I want is for her to not think I do not love her or something..Can anyone tell me what this means? Is it just fear? Maybe the relationship needs spicing up? Is my anxious thoughts getting in the way from me enjoying it? Sometimes when the thoughts arent on my mind I feel pretty normal and think why the hell did i feel like that.

mglover92
03-24-2014, 02:48 PM
Boy is there some anxiety in there feeding all that .

I think you will find that what you are feeling is pretty normal for any relationship .

I think they use to call it the seven year itch .



Maybe you need to just share your thoughts with her . Anxiety or not your both in this and a problem share is a problem halved .

Thanks Forwells for the reply. Do you think this sounds more like an Obsession generated from high Anxiety? I am leaning more towards that because I have had numerous obsessions before

fear or committing suicide or harming others.
fear of becoming gay (no offense to anyone who is gay)
fear of being a pedaphile with zero evidence of that what so ever.
Fear that I cheated on my girlfriend when I never have ever.

Is it another obsessions with some slight problem simply of boredom that can be fixed?

jessed03
03-24-2014, 06:22 PM
Leans towards ROCD, yeah.

It's an obsession, anyway, whether you want to label it or not, upto you. If you did, I think ROCD would be the best fit.

Follows the patterns all of the other obsessions you've had do.

Fearful thought that's untrue, comes from an anxious place, much rumination involved.

Why do you keep falling for it Mglover?

It sounds like you've had a lot of obsessions. Surely you must have recognised the patterns these types of obsessions follow, and learnt how to play them down?

All of the ones you've mentioned are almost exactly the same in nature, just based around a different idea.

The fear, the compulsion, and the therapy involved to get better is almost identical in each and every one.

If you haven't learnt to understand them fully, reading about pure O will help you a lot.