Freaking out

[Scdg17]

Omg Im freaking out right now. My anxiety has been somewhat dormant for a while. But this morning I literally woke up having a panic attack at 7am.
My anxiety stems from feeling trapped. And in a few hours I have to be in the car for 3 hours and stay the weekend at a friends house who makes me a little uncomfortable. Since its kinda far and I've never been there before, i dont know what to expect and I'm freaking out. I hate the unknown.
I'm filled to the brim with irrational fears right now.
Any tips or advice?

[Enduronman]

I wish I had some to offer friend, but all I can offer is hope!
Make the best of your trip and visit...

Try to have a good day regardless...

E-Man.... :)

[Dahila]

You need to do some relaxation now, if you have access to headphones and computer find Jon Kabat zinn quided meditation on youtube. you will not regret;)) He is awesome, and you do not have to do anything beside what he tells you.

[Scdg17]

Thank you. I will check that out.

[jessed03]

Oh darn, I still have to check that vid out.

I'm glad you brought it up Dahila :D

Hope your trip goes well Scdg. Sometimes things aren't as bad as anticipated.

They can surprise you a little. Who knows.

[Scdg17]

Thank you all. This is fantastic advice. I've calmed down a little bit.
And yes, Frank, I was dreading this since last night.

Ya know its funny. When I'm not panicking I have all my lil coping tools and tricks ready to go just in case. But the moment I start to get an attack, I'm like paralyzed and forget all about those things to help me through it.

I have my relaxing music playlist ready to go, the meditation video on YouTube bookmarked, and an emergency Xanax.

My mom is driving so I gave her heads up that I may need to get outta the car and walk around every so often. And told my friend whats going on in case i need to leave early.
Usually just knowing I have an 'escape route' is enough for me to get thru it.

[Scdg17]

Another odd behavior I picked up with my anxiety is I tend to make things worse to kinda get it over with. Like if I'm already panicking I might as well let my mind go into other things that make me feel awful.
For example, in the thick of my anxiety this morning I stupidly chose to force myself to look through old painful pictures of my last relationship that I've been putting off and delete them.

Does anybody else do this? Like make things as difficult as possible during anxiety?

[jessed03]

Glad you feel a bit calmer

What's the drive like? I always like driving the scenic routes. They're a bit quieter too, so you can stop whenever you want. I'm always relaxed when I drive those.

When im on the motorway (freeway to you guys) I'm not as relaxed.

By the way, do you have a name? I keep having to scroll up to remind myself how to spell your username

[Scdg17]

My real name is Dayna.

For me, scenic route vs highway is a trade off. Scenic route is less stressful but highway gets me there faster.
What really helps is when I look at my map and see where all the gas stations are. It's more manageable in my mind knowing I only need to get to that point instead of being trapped in the car for several hours straight.

[Scdg17]

Nice to meet you too.

I have an irrational fear of someone I know seeing me on these kinds of things. But I think I'm guna change it to become more personable.

[jessed03]

It is nice to meet you Dayna. It's upto you if you want to be more personable. I remember using this site when it was really simple and nobody put up signatures and avatars, nobody ever told another anything about themselves, it was just purely anxiety chat. I came back about a year later, and suddenly everyone had pics up and signatures, and people were friendly. It was kinda nice.

But everyone's got their style.

Do you get anxiety burnout? Ya know, when you have so much anxiety that you just exhaust it and become quite calm. Is that why you aggravate it purposely?

[brittany32888]

Another odd behavior I picked up with my anxiety is I tend to make things worse to kinda get it over with. Like if I'm already panicking I might as well let my mind go into other things that make me feel awful.
For example, in the thick of my anxiety this morning I stupidly chose to force myself to look through old painful pictures of my last relationship that I've been putting off and delete them.

Does anybody else do this? Like make things as difficult as possible during anxiety?

I actually do that, but didn't realize what it was until now. I'm always afraid of traveling, especially if there aren't plenty of stops along the way, and also if the company I'm with isn't understanding, or who I'm going to see isn't. The thought of being extremely uncomfortable going somewhere, just to get there and be more uncomfortable is awful. I actually have a trip coming up.. a route I've never taken and a place I've never been and I'm terrified. I can't give much advice on HOW to get through it, because I'm unsure how I have. But, I have gotten through it and its never as bad as I anticipate, and it always gets better. If you can get through it just this once and be ok, then the next time something comes up, you'll remember this one time and be more hopeful.

[Scdg17]

Oh yes. It feels like I'm more in control if I can make it worse. And the faster I can drive myself to exhaustion, the faster it'll be over with.
Same goes for my depression. It feels like a more appropriate time to deal with all the emotional crap I usually shy away from. Once those flood gates open, I have a literal list of my past traumas I like to trudge up and read. Pretty twisted. But the roof of it all goes back to my control issues.

[Scdg17]

I made it!
Whew! It was a stressful stop n go 4.5 hours. But the soundtrack of Jesuschrist Superstar and that meditation video got me through! Haha.
Just the fact that I'm not just going crazy and so many other people suffer the same kind of anxiety is somewhat soothing.
Thank you guys for all your help:)

[brittany32888]

I made it!
Whew! It was a stressful stop n go 4.5 hours. But the soundtrack of Jesuschrist Superstar and that meditation video got me through! Haha.
Just the fact that I'm not just going crazy and so many other people suffer the same kind of anxiety is somewhat soothing.
Thank you guys for all your help:)

Congratulations :)