Spartan231
03-20-2014, 07:10 PM
I'm hoping I put this in the right category, as I definitely feel that my anxiety has played a major role in this problem.
First, let me give you all some background. I'm a 21 year old college junior. I suffer from generalized anxiety as well as some social anxiety, and because of this I focus a lot more on my studying than I do on being social constantly with my friends and roommates (I have two roommates). I also do not drink because it messes with my mind the next day, which only makes the whole issue of socializing that much worse considering that drinking is the main way people socialize in college.
I feel like I never get along with my roommates and that I cannot trust them, by which I mean that I think they might be talking negatively about me behind my back. My one roommate is very much a yes man, meaning that he is very agreeable and easy going, never really interested in being involved in any drama or being honest with you (even when you explicitly ask him to be honest) in fear of the drama it may create.
My other roommate is insanely lazy when it comes to keeping the apartment clean, doing dishes, picking up after himself, etc. He also is the type of person who HAS to be right with everything he says; there is a constant need to argue, and it is insanely annoying when I actually try to be social with them because it always ends up with my know-it-all roommate making me want to leave the room because he can't just let something go without arguing it.
And then there is my roommates friend who used to be my friend until I decided he was loud, obnoxious, and immature. He always feels the need to be deliberately annoying to get a rise out of people, and whenever you call him out on it he gets pissed off and leaves. Typically I'm the only one who calls him out on it, but sometimes mr. know-it-all will do so as well.
It also might be worth pointing out that my two roommates have become close since we moved in and have formed a strong bond over sports, particularly golf. The talk about it a lot and often go play 9 or 18 holes along with the friend I mentioned, while I'm not included because I have little to no interest in the sport. Even when they play video games I am frequently not asked to play for whatever reason.
In addition to this my quiet roommate and I are very studious. We both have 3.5 and higher GPA's and spend a good amount studying and doing homework. Our lazy roommate, however, failed out of school because he did not make any effort to maintain his grades even AFTER he was put on academic probation. Needless to say he really doesn't understand the amount of time and effort that needs to be put into classes and studying. He likes to play video games and blast music, and even after asking him to turn it down, he typically just rolls his eyes or tells me to go somewhere else to study. While I understand that he is trying to enjoy his free time (who am I to judge, honestly, how he spends his time?), I think that he needs to understand that I can't focus on my studying when bass from the music in the living room is shaking the walls.
So all in all, I feel like I have nobody I can lean on here. My roommates are no help, and the friend who comes around makes things even worse when he is loud and obnoxious to the point where I just want to hide in my room. I really don't know what to do, and I'm hoping the lovely people of this forum can help me out. My lease ends in August, and I'll be the only one at the apartment this summer, but I already signed our lease for next year with my two current roommates back in October because that's how things run around here.
My questions/concerns:
1. Am I just being a jerk? Or am I really surrounded by people who just seem to dig at me?
2. Should I try to live somewhere else next year? I'm really not sure if I can stand another year of this, to be entirely honest.
3. Has anyone had a similar experience to this?
First, let me give you all some background. I'm a 21 year old college junior. I suffer from generalized anxiety as well as some social anxiety, and because of this I focus a lot more on my studying than I do on being social constantly with my friends and roommates (I have two roommates). I also do not drink because it messes with my mind the next day, which only makes the whole issue of socializing that much worse considering that drinking is the main way people socialize in college.
I feel like I never get along with my roommates and that I cannot trust them, by which I mean that I think they might be talking negatively about me behind my back. My one roommate is very much a yes man, meaning that he is very agreeable and easy going, never really interested in being involved in any drama or being honest with you (even when you explicitly ask him to be honest) in fear of the drama it may create.
My other roommate is insanely lazy when it comes to keeping the apartment clean, doing dishes, picking up after himself, etc. He also is the type of person who HAS to be right with everything he says; there is a constant need to argue, and it is insanely annoying when I actually try to be social with them because it always ends up with my know-it-all roommate making me want to leave the room because he can't just let something go without arguing it.
And then there is my roommates friend who used to be my friend until I decided he was loud, obnoxious, and immature. He always feels the need to be deliberately annoying to get a rise out of people, and whenever you call him out on it he gets pissed off and leaves. Typically I'm the only one who calls him out on it, but sometimes mr. know-it-all will do so as well.
It also might be worth pointing out that my two roommates have become close since we moved in and have formed a strong bond over sports, particularly golf. The talk about it a lot and often go play 9 or 18 holes along with the friend I mentioned, while I'm not included because I have little to no interest in the sport. Even when they play video games I am frequently not asked to play for whatever reason.
In addition to this my quiet roommate and I are very studious. We both have 3.5 and higher GPA's and spend a good amount studying and doing homework. Our lazy roommate, however, failed out of school because he did not make any effort to maintain his grades even AFTER he was put on academic probation. Needless to say he really doesn't understand the amount of time and effort that needs to be put into classes and studying. He likes to play video games and blast music, and even after asking him to turn it down, he typically just rolls his eyes or tells me to go somewhere else to study. While I understand that he is trying to enjoy his free time (who am I to judge, honestly, how he spends his time?), I think that he needs to understand that I can't focus on my studying when bass from the music in the living room is shaking the walls.
So all in all, I feel like I have nobody I can lean on here. My roommates are no help, and the friend who comes around makes things even worse when he is loud and obnoxious to the point where I just want to hide in my room. I really don't know what to do, and I'm hoping the lovely people of this forum can help me out. My lease ends in August, and I'll be the only one at the apartment this summer, but I already signed our lease for next year with my two current roommates back in October because that's how things run around here.
My questions/concerns:
1. Am I just being a jerk? Or am I really surrounded by people who just seem to dig at me?
2. Should I try to live somewhere else next year? I'm really not sure if I can stand another year of this, to be entirely honest.
3. Has anyone had a similar experience to this?