Regression and losing my "strongest" support. Help?!

[wolfstardobe]

Hey guys, I'm new to the forum but not to panic disorder.

A little background: I was diagnosed as a Junior in High school (although, I had panic attacks since middle school) and shortly after dropped out where I was literally off the grid for five odd years. Finally got my GED and am attending college. I get small episodes now and then but nothing I couldn't get myself down from.

Here's my issue: Recently went on a trip with my closest friend where I shared my fear of having a major panic attack in class. In which, her response was: "You have to stop treating this like a real disorder." She basically went on a rant about how weak I was and that if it were her she would have had a handle on it, etc.

My entire world crumbled beneath me. I've been on the verge of breakdown ever since. Hardly eaten, haven't slept.

I guess, I really just need some support since the foundation to my support system has be uprooted.

[JLBnole68]

Your friend clearly has no clue what anxiety disorders are, what they entail or how "real" they are to the people who deal with them. Personally, I would never be so harsh with any of my friends, regardless of what they were experiencing or my level of understanding. A real friend is someone who listens objectively, knows your biggest faults and still loves you anyway. Perhaps she thought she was doing you a favor by minimizing your problem, but to someone with anxiety, that's the worst and least helpful thing someone can do. I wouldn't suggest ending a close friendship over it, as many people and even family members often don't understand that it's not just something you can "think" your way out of. They just don't get it. For whatever reason, the brain is the one organ that gets a stigma attached if it's not functioning properly. You don't get the same empathy as you would perhaps if you had issues with say your heart, or kidneys or liver. This stigma has always existed with mental health, so try not to be too upset with your friend. What you have to do is find people who do understand, people who won't make assumptions or pass judgment. Coming here is a good start. There are lots of great folks here who not only "get" it, they "live" it. Personally, if this was my friend, I would have to open up and let her know how her reaction and words affected me in a negative way. A true friend is someone you can be honest with. If she's combative about it, then you might want to assess your level friendship. It might be time to meet new friends. Anyway, I hope you find support and friendship on this forum. Welcome aboard! -Jeff

[wolfstardobe]

Thank you, I think the entire situation put me in shock. I will not end the friendship but I will take a step back from her. I think it upset me so much because she is a psychiatric nurse that works with children every day with similar issues. I feel hurt and betrayed, and everyone else I talk to thinks I'm over reacting. She's always been the one I can count on but now it looks like she won't be.

Thank you again for your kindness.

[jjh333]

welcome! I'm sorry about losing your support system... that's exactly how I feel with the no sleep/no eating when it happens to me. Luckily you will find a ton of people around here that will make a large support system for you!

[stp4779]

Hi wolf, welcome to the forum!

Have you told your friend how much her words hurt you? She may never truly understand what it means to have anxiety, but if she's a true friend, I hope she'll at least come to the realization that she hurt your feelings and make amends.

I hope someday she can see that regardless of whether you have a "real disorder" or not, it still makes you miserable all the same! And that's all that matters - being there for your friend that's having a rough time whether it's real or in your head!

[wolfstardobe]

Thanks for the welcomes. I'm seriously glad I found this forum.

I tired to explain how deeply her words hurt me but I don't think she will ever truly understand why it effected me so much. She seems to be on a mission to act like nothing happened at all, now that it's been a few days. I don't understand how she can blow off something that effected me on such a massive level.

At this point, I don't think I can confide in her like I once did. It doesn't help that my anxiety level is the highest it has been in quite some time.

[Dahila]

Welcome wolfstrdobe , and do not worry you lost support but you gained a lot here. You do not have to be alone and sad, :))

[wolfstardobe]

Thank you, Dahila that means a lot!